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HASHSHIT HOLDERS THE YELLOW PERIL

SCRIBE’S REPORT Run 1617 Angie, Jonathan Gordon

Announcements
Your regular team is back in action with The Rope writing this week. For those who are concerned that during 1999 their trail laying, wit, subtle humour, barbed comments, sarcasm, blasphemy, songs, misdeeds, gestures, set pieces, clowning, fireworks, extra curricular activities were mis-reported, not reported or reported when best not divulged, you can all fuck off and stand as scribes at the next election, you miserable lot of bastards. Oh, by the way, Happy New Year.

Yirbuk
Dirty books, jokes, pictures, scandal and anything else unsuitable required by Bolt-1-On.

Pan Indo Hash Put dates in your diary now 18th to 20th August 2000.Contact Tarzan for details (021) 797 3079

Pussy Mistery Run Saturday January 29th

Pelabuhan Ratu Weekend 11-13th February at Ocean Queen.
Form available next week – see Superbrat, Witless or Mastabator. Saturday long/short runs, Sunday recovery run.

Batavia 750th run, 22nd /23rd Jan Novotel.
See Cheese Balls, Sheepskin or Leeky Dick. Mixed runs Sat 3.00 p.m. (Rps. 100,000) and Sunday 11.00 a.m. (Rps.75,000). This clashes with Bullshit’s daughter’s wedding on 22nd at Hotel Red Top, Jl.Peconongan to which all Jakarta Hashers are invited (running shorts and T-shirts).

At JH3 This Week:
Run No 1617 3rd January, Hares Angie and Jonathan Gordon
Stats 25 Members, 2 New Members, = Total 27

What a Run
Despite the Hare being "The Most Hated Man in Hash History", this had to be the run of the year (or at least the first Monday run of the last year of the 20th century according to Sheepskin). The location out by the Novotel is not new especially to those who have run with the Bogor Hash. This run was reminiscent of previous Jakarta Hash runs but nevertheless the country was good and the trail interesting with a few kampongs and paper laid to avoid most crops. Despite heavy rain in the afternoon, the run itself was dry if not a little slippery in places. The trail was confusing in parts with some paper re-laid and/or washed out and one arrow so distorted it could have been a check back which caused many Hares a long search for the continuing trail. The pack were kept reasonably together due it has to be said to some clever checks and check backs but the run turned out to be a little on the long side with most Hashers getting in around 6.20.

Most runners thought it was a good run and two including Rubber Turd suggested that it was a good run fucked up!!!! (This must therefore be a HashShit!) Bolt-1-On claimed that he had laid an identical trail for the election run when it was a perfect trail but that tonight it was a Hashshit. So much for democracy. However Magic Dragon reminded us that runs are supposed to be original and inventive and was able to advise that when B1O laid the election run he got lost. He got lost again tonight so it was hardly an original run on two counts. Herpes thought it too long – the run was too long, the checks were too long and the paper was too long. Stretch complained about the imaginary paper, the imaginary arrows and the imaginary handrails on the bridges. Rubber Turd suggested that the free whisky was damage control to make the Hashers less vitriolic about the run. Colonel Bloodknock stated that it was most definitely the worst run this century – but then he did not realise that the new century does not start until next year. However to him parts of it were so good that he did them twice.

On a more serious note, Pretty Boy cautioned those that were casting stones. Had they themselves laid a run in the last twelve months? Does this forewarn the non-Hares that they might be "outed" as paper shy? Will they change their ways and VOLUNTEER (see Superbrat).

The Circle
It started off quietly not only because of the small field of Hashers (oops I nearly wrote runners) but also a few had left by the time the circle got going including Tarzan off no doubt to buka puasa. There were the usual DDs for the Committee ( Sheepskin, Tom Jones (Cash), Herpes, Col. Bloodknock, Superbrat, The Rope, Jonesy). Also for returners Cheese Balls, Superbrat, Bolt-1-On, Colonel Bloodknock, Stretch, The Rope, Magic Dragon and New Members Nick Leeson and Jonathan Gordon.

It was pointed out by several Hashers that Yoshi was spotted actually running. Could this be a New Year’s resolution or the Viagra which he got for Christmas wearing off? There were a few announcements (see announcements) and the Circle started to warm up as the singing got going.

Master of Music, Colonel Bloodknock, entertained with "I’d rather masturbate" and the seasonal " I’m walking backwards for Christmas" to which Magic Dragon added "I saw mummy kissing Santa Claus". Nick Leeson was awarded his 10 run shirt and Leeky Dick his 200 run shirt. Bolt-1-On claimed to have laid more runs per run, run than any other Hasher – 1 Hare per 8 runs only to have this dubious record quashed as it was pointed out that the co-hare today had an even better ratio. However he did get his reward for 50Hares.Leeky Dick was accused of fraternising with a Bolt-1-On secretary until it was realised that they were kept under lock and key in his bedroom. It was however announced that Bolt-1-On and Leeky are going to get married. Correction they are going to get married on the same day. The RA, Herpes, was in a vindictive mood punishing Cheeseballs for being inattentive, Angie for placing the circle next to a shit heap, Pretty Boy for piss poor calling on the run and Tommy for pissing on the run.

Back to MM for Bare "extremities" and to RA to punish those whose lights definitely went out on New Years Eve – Superbrat, Rubber Turd, Jonesy and Col. Blooodknock.

It was spotted that the HashShit holders names are still not on the HashShit board – apparently Maandi is looking for a sponsor – volunteers step one pace forward!. MM relinquished control to MD who gave us his rendition of "Silent night" and "Good king Wencles" and "The first nowell". Leeky Dick contributed "Bugger-me-mucho" and Nick Leeson sang "Bang bang Lulu" from the Hash Song Book (available from Jonesy at a very reasonable price). B1O complained about the lack of Hash Flash yes where was he? He missed some good opportunities for photos for the Yearbook. If you have any good shots let Bolt-1-On have them.

On-On
At the Novotel subsidised by the Hares

The Rope 22/11/99

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