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Hashshit Holders Next Week and Elephant Man

The location up at Rancamaya had obviously put some Hashers off due to the distance away from Jakarta but most Hashers arrived early saying it had taken less time to get there than to Bukit Sentul or Hambalang! The location was relatively unknown to JHHH which made shortcutting difficult. So of we set across the road led by MGM and The Rope and down into the sawah before shortly hitting kampong - and kampong and more kampong. Where was the beautiful countryside for which West Java is famous? The trail twisted around which soon made it difficult to know the direction home – there was only one choice – follow the paper. The first check was easy and short and did little to slow down the front runners. After twisting and turning around the various kampongs to the great amusement of the inhabitants, we eventually emerged into good running country. Good trails along ridges, down into valleys, across sawah, up onto the next ridge and so on. This was more like it! The pack was disappearing in the distance – any checks which there were, were short and easy and failed to keep the pack together. The good use of paper and paint also made it a fast rune for those with the energy and stamina. I got stuck with Bolt-1-On whom I could not shake off despite leaving the paper. We eventually got back to the trail having deduced that it was not a leftie and struggled to catch up with Crusty Nuts and Maandi. By this time it was approaching 6.00 and we were thankful for the lighter evenings as the trail meandered through bamboo thickets. It is impossible to see paper against the background of dried bamboo leaves in the dark!

At this point, it was apparent that the Hares must have got lost as the trail suddenly dipped down a steep embankment and along another ridge which had been recently used by water buffalo. After several hundred metres we spotted what must have been the target – a bridge heading back towards the golf course. At last the end was in sight – or so we thought!. The trail disappeared off left back into scrub and up a steep hill. More kampong before finally reaching tarmac. We were there – but maybe not! Bolt-1-On and Maandi went ahead, a sort advance party. The long road in must have been another 2 kilometres before we reached the Circle at 6.40.

This was definitely a Hash Shit. All that beautiful country in the foothills of the volcanoes which surround the Puncak Pass – Genung Panggrango and Genung Gede. The weather was perfect – no rain and a cool breeze. The country available to be used included valleys and ridges with little sign of human habitation. If the definition of a Hash Shit is "a good run fucked up", then this was it. And what was the HM’s verdict – a Good Run!!! So what influenced Sheepskin? Was it the free pizza for the returning Hashers? Or was it the offer of free food and beer at the On-On? Or was it the free Sake going to his head. Remembering that this was Botaksan’s last run, one would possibly think that it was a kindly parting gesture on behalf of the HM but one must remember that Botaksan is/was the Hash Cash – say no more!

What did other Hashers think of the run? Not a lot apparently. Mudguard was convinced that the Hares had purposely set out for this to be a HashShit. MGM pointed out that thankfully there had been no rain. With rain it would have added another twenty minutes to the run. Dr. Jerker related Botaksans disappearance to the scandal in Malaysia with Japanese paying bribes to the Malays but thought the run was a shitty slippery run. Shamcock said that it could have been an excellent run but there was poor use of the many check possibilities. Otherwise good run (well he is Irish!) The Rope (yes I do have an opinion) thought it too long, too much kampong at the start and too much road at the end – Hash Shit! Tarzan thought the Hares had not respected the local kampong dwellers and had used too much paper in the kampongs. Jonesy (Hash Trash) noted that Botaksan had not bought a shirt from him so it must be a Hash Shit. Bolt-1-On, that decider of right and wrong, sated that it was not a good run but not a Hash Shit – just a Cunt-of-a-Run. Dripper observed that he did the run in 1 hour 50 minutes and that a run laid by the Japanese of less than 2.5 hours must be a good run. Superbrat compared the run to a piece of science fiction comparing the first part to running in the Cibubur area. After that comment, the rest of his comments were lost by those singing " Superbrats going to the Old Folks Home". Tom Jones agreed with others that it started badly but it got better - and it got longer…… He also started a new Hash Statistic, the number of arrows of which he claimed there were 374. Was this run discussion never going to end? Holy Joop had decided that having come all this way out from Jakarta, it needed a good long run to make it worth while. Vistor Shaggy, being his first run in Indonesia, thought it a good run. Botaksan thought it the Run of The Millennium, but nobody had asked him. As previously reported, it was declared a Good Run.

It was not long after this at 7.20 p.m. that Itchikok appeared from out of the darkness. He had been given the job of sweeper finding any lost Hashers. Just must be akin to the Kamikaze tradition of the Japanese – sending an individual out on a mission knowing there was a good chance that he would not return. For his efforts he spent the rest of the Circle propped up against the front of a car in a comatosed state. He did make it for the On-On.

Late announcement – the Hash Master has Hash Signs available – lots of them. Pick them up from him the week previous to your run and return them to him at the run or the week after. Do not give them to the next Hares.

The sponsors of the event were called in for their customary DD. The Hres themselves had sponsored Pizza for returnung Hashers, Sake and makan/beer at the On-On.

The singing started late with Col. Bloodknock starting us off with "Last Night I Stayed up Late…". This was followed by the old favourite "Gang Bang". Witless was dragged into the circle to display his new annual haircut and be rewarded accordingly.

The Co-Hares (less Itchikok) sang a Japanese ditty to Botaksan called Sayounara Botaksan. The third verse went as follows:

I’ll never forget your sweet voice, tender action
And warmth of your hands
I’ll never forget when you were kissing me
I remember forever your sexy skinhead
Of course we remember your nice shot
In day to night

This was based on a Japanese love sing but prompted cries of Rule 6. The nice shot, we were assured was his golf swing!

Botaksan was given his leaver’s mug suitably inscribed 1^st Lun February 1994, Rast Lun 14^th February 2000, Number of Luns 108, 3 Hares, 9 Co-Hares. Hash Cash 98/99 and 99/00. He also was sung the Jakarta Hash Leavers song which for some reason Col Bloodknock had difficulty remembering despite the fact that he wrote it.

Herpes as RA had obviously been reading the paper about the Austrian coalition with Jorg Haider’s party and decided to adopt some right wing tactics for his duties. In particular he made a vicious scathing attack on the Scribe for failing to keep an accurate record of events. This was of course patently untrue as the Scribe remembers everything even after several DDs and a bowl of Sake.

After this, ……………………………..

The Rope – 14^th February 2000

Hash Stats – 32 Jakarta Hashers, 2 New Members, 1 Visitor – Shaggy (from Gloucestershire Gourmets, UK)

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