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Hashshit Holders Next Week and Elephant Man

The Welsh are sadistic bastards. Not only did they lay a run which came close to rivalling the Japanese for their infamous death march, they did so in an area which has seen so many Hashes over the last couple of weeks that paper and arrows were everywhere. The first front runner was Superbrat who made it in at 1900 hours and immediately iced the Hares – more of this later. The wiser Hashers had realised that this was no stroll in the country and had wisely cut short the run and headed back as the light faded. The warning signs were there – the hot sweating Hare ran in at 4.59 to give the usual briefing about paper and direction for the start. But where were the co-Hares? Colonel Bloodknock, who should be de-commissioned to sergeant for this fiasco of a run, even advised at the start that it was a long run. If it had been Bolt-1-On or Witless Wanker, one would have ignored this advice but for the usually reliable Bloodknock, this was warning indeed. And what of the co-Hares – were they still out laying more paper or were they actually lost?

The first part of the run was an exact copy of a Japanese laid run only a few weeks ago. This made it easy and this country is excellent for running. So far, Good Run. It went under the toll road and out to the left. Would this be a rightie like the last run out this way and fool us all? The trail kept going left into a large area of sawah with Hares looking for paper everywhere. I was not far behind Superbrat at this stage so the checks must have been fairly good. But then the trail was just plain hard running for miles and miles. There were just four of us, Herpes, The Rope, Holy Joop and another Cloggie at 5.40 looking for paper and heading for Cibubur. Now was the time to take the decision – head for home! In this territory, this is not difficult as the location is well known at the toll road is a bit of a give-away. We headed for the bridge to get back under the toll road and meet up with runners again including Superbrat.

At this point I lost the runners and followed paper along the road for few clicks before the trail disappeared to the right into the sawah as darkness fell. Keep straight on and follow the road, shortcut through Emeralda golf course and meet up with another lost soul, Jungle Fucker. I eventually got back in at 6.30 to be met by the already formed circle of other shortcutters.

The proceedings were under way with Angie leading the fray in place of Joint HM Superbrat who was still out running. The HM was yet again absent – could he be sharing the Hash Sprash spoils with Konkrete Kock and Hardcase and why did Hash Cash disappear before the end of his tenure? Angie is not known for his good-natured temperament so it was somewhat of a surprise to this Scribe to witness his rushing through the run discussion before even the front runners had returned. Being a Snooper, he is unlikely to be guilty of KKN so what was he reasoning? Is there some hidden Welsh Ancestry? Or was he just enjoying the power of being Hash Master for the moment?

The run discussion was tame. GoBlokM thought it was a communist inspired run being a total leftie but still a good run. The Rope thought the first half was familiar but good. The second half was long and boring on road. Joop thought it was a good run gone wrong – a HASHSHIT, no less. Gadget, yes he is back, went right – "who gives a f*** about the run". Dripper enjoyed himself. Herpes, quite astutely, pointed out that the only ones back were shortcutters so what would they know about the run - the real runners were still out there. There was enough paper for two runs. Simply Fred thought it could have been a good run and Konkrete thought the first ten minutes were good and then he went right. Witless advised us that four runs had been laid in the same area in the past week and that there was enough paper out there for everyone to have had a good run. Rabeye said it was an ambitious run and it was lucky that we knew the area. Angie Baby declared it a Good Run a few seconds before a very hot and sweaty Superbrat stormed into the circle and put the Hares on ice. He was really pissed off and after letting off steam, quite literally, for a couple of minutes. He said that the thing that really pissed him off was the smoke from the fires. Had he really been to Kalimantan and back?

Inspector Gadget had returned and was determined to make his mark on the assembled company. Jakarta Hashers have become softies he said, only drinking half measures for down-downs. So now we had our third Megalomaniac lashing out in all directions as though he were RA. He was however MM for the evening but where were the songs? I do remember a few one liners that he sung but that was it!! He was eventually iced for being objectionable – so what’s new. Dripper led the DD song only to be iced for being in tune – unfortunately the wrong one. He was joined by Herpes, guilty of the same crime. By this time Rabeye, that other shy retiring individual, recently voted to Chieftain of the St. Andrew’s Society and another megalomaniac, was beginning to flex his muscles and had increased the number of blocks of ice to five. There were nearly as many people inside the Circle as forming the Circle.

The RA was of course our Jorg Haiter sympathiser, Herpes, who took objection to Konkrete’s attire in particular Konkrete Kock’s Socks and proceeded to lambaste him. The proceedings were hotting up with so many extroverts competing – it only needed Bolt-1-On to complete the show – but where was he? The only other FRBs, Mudguard and Tony Dieter, struggled in steaming at 7.15. There was a noticeable lack of Hashers. Several more had set out than had returned. At 7.35 an angkot arrived with Fanny, Tom Jones, Maandi, Postponed, Nick Leeson and unfortunately Bolt-1-On. Apart from Sheepskin, who is really only a novice megalomaniac, we had the full set. Songs were there few. The hares together sang a version of "Knock Knock" with Welsh verses. Colonel Bloodknock sang "Too much Wanking Makes you Blind". Jungle Fucker sang "Burung Saya Besar" for his 550 run shirt and Sadist tried to avoid singing for his 50^th shirt by passing round a copy of The Sun displaying enormous tits. However he was not to get away with it but had come prepared with new words for all to the tune of the "Ball of Kirriemuir"

The On-On was on-site at R.M. Kalimantan Ikan Bakar – excellent food as always.

The Rope – 28^th February 2000

Hash Stats – 30 Jakarta Hashers, 0 New Members, 2 Visitors = Total 32

Sponsors – Finexco – thanks for the singlets 

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