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Hashshit Holder: Next Week, Elephant Man

This run has to be a good run – any run that results in Vatican Rag getting lost is note-worthy! The country to the back of the Sentul Service area has been used before but is not yet over used. Once we got away from the toll road, there was some really good running country. It was fortunate that it was clear despite rain closer into the city which made for some fantastic views. At one point not too far from the start, we could look over the valley with a back drop of hills stretching south from Hambalang – it was worth it just to stop for a second or two and risk being flattened by the more eager runners. This run had everything, to quote Tom Jones. There was singkong, river crossings (easily negotiated by Tom Jones whereas Bolt-1-On came a cropper at the first!), singkong, several kampongs, more singkong, dried paddi field, even more singkong and a few minor bridges. This was probably the one item lacking was a really good bridge – you know the sort with a couple of bamboo poles stretching ten metres across a ravine fifty metres deep with only a shaky hand rail for support. Mudguard had taken the advice of Witless and chosen his dry terrain running shoes and for once the advice was correct. All the trails were dry even parched in places. The rainy season is over!

The Hares had to be congratulated, not only for losing Vatican Rag, but also for keeping the pack fairly well together. There were some good checks and some slow running parts through singkong both of which helped to slow down the FRBs, noticeable amongst which was none other than Froggy Park Well, noticeable until he wrecked his ankle and eventually hobbled in well after 6.00 pm. The trail was difficult to judge even well into the run and some were convinced we were heading for Hambalang itself. Eventually it swung right and we were heading back on dirt track. A loop off to the left had the FRBs panting for more, whereas the more sensible SCBs ignored this and continued down the road to meet the FRBs crossing back across the same road. And were they cross. Mudguard seemed rather displeased that despite his best running efforts he was still in amongst the likes of The Rope, Tarzan and Jungle Fucker. Still the last part of the run sorted the men from the boys. A sneaky little check not far from home had some guessing and some like Tom Jones, bewildered. Then it was back to the toll road and a long run in back to the services.

Late arrivals (6.30) included Herpes and Angie – is it a coincidence that their run next week is in this same area? Were they actually doing their recce? Also late back (6.40) were Thomas Gomolsky and Mark Stewardson both visitors.

So why was it a stinking run? Not only did we run through a processing plant for tapioca (singkong) which exudes the most pungent odours, there was also a section of the run on rough almost cobbled road which Dr Jerker described as lousy. Well it cannot be all praise, can it? The VR rating was 90/32 – just under three, whatever that means.

The circle formed on time in the middle of the Services area much to the amusement of the local populous. The site was down wind of the singkong preparation plant and suffered from the same pungent odour which had been part of the run. Even the fumes from the trucks and buses and the smoke from the free cigars handed out by Crusty Nuts was insufficient to overcome that smell. A welcome back was given to Froggy Park, not known for his modesty and placid nature. Also running was an old Hasher Robert Van Heeren who did a couple of hundred runs in the early seventies.

The run discussion was opened by Froggy Park – isn’t it good to have him back (or is it?). The gist of his diatribe was a claim of total incompetence on behalf of the Hares. Tony D. thought the run was pleasing on the eye but offensive on the nose. Tommy Not Guilty thought it a good run. Thomarse thought it a pretty good run but complained about that check back near the end, but if he will insist on arriving back in the dark, what should he expect? Angie related the story of his driver claiming a dubious day off to attend a funeral, only to trip over him on the run prostrate over a fresh grave. B1O piped up that yes the trail did go through a cemetery. This was doubted by Tom Jones who is concerned about such matters and fervently denied by the Hares. Tarzan complimented the Hares on the good checks and the propitious use of the country on this side of the toll as most runs go to the other side. Dr. Jerker pointed out that B1O was falling apart and not likely to survive having taken a tumble in a not so pleasant river. The run was declared as Excellent by stand-in HM Fanny.

The MM Colonel Bloodknock was on good form tonight leading off with "Yogi Bear" but not getting much support. At this stage of the evening, the amber fluid had not had enough time to enable Hashers to lose their inhibitions. The RA stepped in and promptly proceeded to put things back on course by the handing out of DDs for crimes related to dress code (the plonker wearing SA trousers who was iced and GoBlokM who is always immaculately turned out for a kraut), the smoking of cigars (Rabeye, Mudguard, Gusunda), the Sydney Strangler (Nick Leeson) and the Hobiscot (Rabeye). MM then tried again to get things going with "Sixth Floor". The Hares sang a plagarised version of "Jakarta Dick-Lick" to the tune of Teddy Bear’s picnic. Col Blood got the circle going with limericks painfully supported by Froggy and Witless to name but two.

At this point the disadvantage of Sentul Services became apparent as a convoy of lorries drove through the circle to the shouts of Hashers "We’ve Got a Convoy". The RA got to work again, this time about the guy in Oz who got raped for which Nick Leeson, Fanny, Muguard and Gusunda were all held responsible. The Hares sang a song entitled "The Tampax Factory" which is an original, I believe. There was some discussion about Cardiff losing the bid for the next InterHash, which will be in Goa (contact Browneye), which led to Col Bloodknock telling us how he left his home in Wales to go out for fish and chips and hasn’t been back for eight years. The old ones are the best!

The On-On was on-site at the local equivalent of Granada, Watford Gap .

The Rope – 20^th March 2000

Hash Stats – 28 Jakarta Hashers, 0 New Members, 4 Visitors = Total 32

Sponsors – Hares – thanks for the Filipino cigars

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