Jakarta Hash House Harriers
Scribe
Sheet Run 1633
Hashshit Holder: Next Week, Elephant Man
SCRIBE’S REPORT
Run 1633 17th April 2000
Hares : Cheeseballs, Dyke
Members 28, New Members 0, Visitors 0 = Total
Site: Chesseballs
House, near Bukit Pelangi
THE RUN
Once
more late by fifteen minutes, but so were Angie, Gay Gordon and Kevin Effing
Desmond. Up the hill, from Chez Cheesballs, through an intricate weave of
kampung, and soon occasional glimpses of distant jungly type hilltops and
rolling cingkong covered slopes. Angie winged incessantly about a dose of the
flu and the rest of us tried to distance ourselves from him. A series of checks
made this early, up the hill, part of the run rather tricky and occasional
droplets had us wandering whether a downpour was imminent. Progress was slower
than expected and I was soon to become dislodged from the others as I made one
check too long. Without finding paper I returned from whence I first lost paper
and my plaintive cries of ‘are you’ were never answered. Gay and Effing
had apparently bolted onwards seemingly without caring whether I was by their
side. Lonely and a little downhearted I tried sundry trials, but never found
paper. In time I was to become even more disconcerted when trundling up from
behind came the winging Angie. He had no doubts where he was off, even that his
route had no paper. At first I spurned his invitations to accompany him, but in
the end I took his lead, on a route which did result in finding paper, even if
we had cut off much of the run. Once on paper again it was all-downhill from
there and I was back at 6.50, not having really felt the pain which comes from
a long and punishing outing. To awestruck Hashers, Angie recounted tales of
fearsome gorges, treacherous river crossings, impenetrable jungle and savage
beasts, but I seemed to have missed all that. I mingled with early, short
cutting and more feeble, arrivers, feeling not a little embarrassed to be among
them, especially as the self satisfied front runners, Next Week and Col.
Bludsnot, arrived.
And so what happened after. Perched on the mountainside above Sentul, with the stunning vista of West Java before us, the circle formed in the garden at Chez Cheeseballs. With the Hashmaster and his two side kicks absent the mild mannered and self effacing Col. Bludsnot brought things to order and totally and utterly confused the assembled with a series of misinformation which was supposedly the announcements. There was one concerning the auditions for the Hash Sprash, which were to be held at Akbar Palace, the day after, which is in fact a couple of days ago. So that was interesting. The mob from Pan Indo Hash announced the same as they do every week, which annoyed Pretty Boy, and was ignored by the rest. Next weeks hares giggled through attempts to tell us where next weeks run was going to be. Adrenalin ran a little faster as Bolt1on nearly came to fisticuffs with Witless over an incident with a beer soaked cigar – its was lucky that they could both take a joke!
The run had been set in honor of something Dutch [= Cloggy]. The Dutch being a much maligned nation, which is quite understandable. Born to a flat and windy, tulip infested, dyke ridden, round cheesed, wooden shoed, land, where there are more red light districts, porn shops and gay long haired soldiers, to the square kilometer than anywhere else in the world, we should be a little more sympathetic. Some may say that Cloggies are arrogant and overbearing, but that is certainly not true for all of them, even though it may be true for the odd exile [Sorry Herb].
Yoshi refused to comment on the lun, but most others thought it was rather good under the circumstance, including the Awful Dripper, KK, Kevin Effing, Skinhead, the quiet Maandi, the not so quiet Bolt1on, Jungly Fucker etc etc. Tom Jones who was due to receive his 850 run mug excused himself early, and for some reason lookalikes, Witless and Next Week, were iced. Magic Dragon took a turn at MM, but was eventually sidelined after a rousing rendition of everyone’s favorite, Two Blind Jellyfish. At this juncture Slobidan [ex Herpes] stirred himself from the sidelines, incensed I guess by the surfeit of cloggies. Soon that annoying Austrian arm waving was directing itself at the guilty and innocent alike, as few escaped punishment.
Early complaints about dog shit in the circle preempted a period when there were endless silly little jokes about a piece of something that resembled a dog’s dick. This was temporality quelled by the hares songs, one of which being too long, politically risky, historically suspect and tuneless, but thankfully no Effing Tulips from Effing Amsterdam!
Somewhat unfairly, some may think, unpleasant comments were made about Angies ever increasing paunch, but those in the know realized that he is actually putting on weight for his eagerly awaited Laurel and Hardy skit, with Magic Dragon., at the sprash.
We needed to travel no farther for the on-on, as a sumptuous feast of Dutch pea soup was laid on by our host Cheesballs.
Late News Hash Sprash [20 May]: Col. Bludslut reports that at a heavily attended and very competitive audition session at Akbar Palace on Tuesday evening all the star roles in JHHH's upcoming contribution to the cabaret were awarded. Those who were unsuccessful in obtaining any of the star parts and any who were unable to attend but would still like to make an exhibition of themselves are invited to apply for remaining 'extra' parts, such as Greek urns. Please contact Colonel 'Spielberg' Bloodnock without delay.
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