Jakarta Hash House Harriers
Scribe
Sheet Run 1639/1640
HASH
SHEET, Run 1639 and 1640, May 28 and 29
Run 1639: Highland Gathering (Hares
Angie and The Rope)
Let us not talk about the Highland Gathering, which is in fact a big gathering of poofters and big silly men dressed in drag, with an addiction to blowjobs. No let us restrict ourselves to the activities of us hashers. To start with the run. It was a
hot desert run in Kara(wa)chi, besides hot it was and long (10K) and well laid by the hares considering the possibilities in this area. The more intelligent hashers had prepared themselves against dehydration at Frog-balls place the night before. The result was obvious, because Superbrat – who joined the preparations - clearly outperformed Dyke. The Hash is non-competitive? You’re kidding, this time it was an open competition, where Superbrat and Dyke won silver and bronze medals. But their years of non-competitive running made them too shy to go for the gold, which they easily could have done.
The strenuous exercise combined with the sweltering heat caused our normally well-soaked hashers to be completely dehydrated, but direct infusion of large quantities of Anker saved the majority. Years of being non-competitive also took its toll on the other activities where either no-body showed up (tug-of-war) or we were short of one man for the 7-aside tough rugby games. But instead of being only with 6, Elephant man, KK and Nick Leeson did not give an inch, although they only could come second for the earlier mentioned reasons. There was only one serious injury, that was Elephant man, who suffered from an acute case of
“cuntigitis toetalis” what
stands for a serious infection of the toes with the “cunt- virus”. He
contracted this dangerous disease because he borrowed the shoes from Bolt-1-on
who uses his big toe to screw his sexcretaris as his dick is too small and worn
away by over-use.
Some people were of the opinion that the drop of the performance level after the 10K run could be blamed on the alcohol. If that is true, than at least we hashers are not to blame. An alternative for Anker could be Shell, which sells an alcohol free liquid, they tried to push this by giving away nicely embroidered T-shirts, typical Dutch from Royal Dutch Shell.
Run 1640: At-the-Zoo (hares Angie & Gay Gordon)
Angie hare again and to
remain in the reversed dressers Highland gathering mode he took “gay” Gordon
along.
This
was a dream of a night for the scribe, because a lot happened. The run was
remarkable the circle was one of the best ones we ever experienced. Mainly because
top-performances were rendered by the likes as Holy Joop and Bolt-1-on. But let
us forget about Bolt-1-On, this pathetic arsehole, this virgin fucking child
abuser, is not worth too many words, so let us concentrate on the real hasher,
yes as everybody already expects let’s concentrate on my fellow scribe “Holy
Joop”. It was not so long ago that people started to act violently only by
hearing his name. “Un-reliable, non-performer, Mr. Early-leaver, Mr.
Never-shows-up, Mr. One-Hare-in-20-years”, just to mention only a few of the
names our Holy Joop is called with affection.
Was
his appointment as scribe by Herpes a sign of early senility or was it another
stroke of genius from our Austrian hero? The latter seems more obvious, it was
a masterstroke of Herpes and shows again why this man has been given the trust
to run one of the largest German organizations in the world (they only give
these jobs to Austrians).
We
have to admit, that is was a gamble of Herpes to appoint a lazy bum like “Holy”
to the key position of scribe. But it worked out perfectly? Normally “Holy”
leaves almost immediately after the run (was he going home or did he have
another secret agenda?). But last Monday evening NOBODY saw him leave.
Herpes
decision proves that a person can change when you give him some real
responsibility. Not only did Holy not leave, he even made an effort to attract
new members. You all must have noticed
the advertisement he placed in the Jakarta Post, where he volunteered to give
“free gifts to new members”. Is this the stingy Holy as we know him, the one
who promised a financial contribution for the yearbook but never opened his
purse? Yes, he not only paid for the expensive advertisement, but it is even
rumored that new members will get free piss from Holy after the run (they only
have to pay their run fees).
Enough
about my fellow scribe, let us talk about the run. It was a convenient
location, not only the short drive but also the strong smell from animals,
rubbish etc. This made it possible for the runners to fart away freely all the
noxious gases they accumulated during the Highland gathering drinking spree.
The ozone layer above Jakarta will never be the same again.
Considering
the limitations of this location and even more the limitations of the hares,
the run was well laid and of the right length. When we came back through the
Zoo it already started to become dark, so we were not sure if all the creatures
we saw were new members reacting on Holy’s advertisement or if it were the Zoo
animals. With hashers the difference is hard to tell anyway.
When the circle started everybody realized the mistake we have made with the last election of the mis-management. We elected Bolt-1-On as joint HM, in the certainty that he would only be used to fill the mugs and let the real work do by Herpes. This has always been done to appease aspiring but useless mis-management candidates, as the surest way to make them harmless. How stupid, we did not realize that this if Herpes would be away, this joint had to replace him. How careless, the circle was shocked when he started with his usual antics, ice (Bloodknock and Elephant man), D-D’s, etc. were distributed liberally. Magic Dragon tried to give us a break by singing twice the long balad of his Sister’s cat’s arsehole. Gadget told us the story of the Philippino who jumped from a plane, while giving instructions of how to use a BBQ before disappearing deep in the marsh land below. As the stewardess could not follow him, she still has problems operating the BBQ.
Announcements:
NEXT WEEKS RUN 1641 on 5 June KK & Yoshi at
Ikan Bakar Kalimantan,
Cimmangis.
HASH GOLF: 11th June 2000,
Jagorawi, contact Jonathan Gordon
PAN INDO HASH: 18-20th August 2000 -
Current Price Rp. 400,000 –
Contact Tarzan 797 3079
IndoNostalgia Hash: 9/10th
September - Barmouth in Wales – contact
VOLCANO RUN:
15 - 17th Sept. 2000 – Mount Bromo, Contact Herpes
or Bolty -NOTE NEW DATE seems now definitive
JUNGLE RUN: October 21 to 25 - explore the primary
Jungles of Medan
with Jungle Fucker (including religious and
sectarian fights,
so you don’t have to go all the way to Ambon)
Distribution of Hash Sheet:
Per E-mail (please give your E-mail to datkins@jason.nl, also if you want to de-list from the E-mail distribution) or hard-copies at the Satu Lagi Bar (Hotel Krystal), Eastern Promise, Akbar Palace, Mama's Kitchen and Sportsmans Bar.
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