SCRIBE’S REPORT Run 1647 Date July 17th 2000 Tom Jones & Mudguard

Statistics: Members 25, New Members 4, Visitors 1. Total 30. Site: Sentul Selatan

A “Bastille” of a run?

It may come as quite a surprise to those that turned up for this run, but we were in fact celebrating Le French Revolution. Yes, the run was to commemorate that momentous occasion in French history when the monarchy was overthrown and the Republik was borne. All this stemmed from a bunch of silly wankers storming the local nick in such a way which to the French (and nobody else) symbolised liberty, democracy and the struggle against all forms of oppression. Just imagine if it had been a group of Irishmen who tried to break into the jail. They would have created history all right .. for being the biggest plonkers of all time. Did you hear the one about the Irishman who thought they put bars on a prison to keep people out! Anyway I never did understand the French, or the revolution or why they find frog legs edible or why they block their ports at the first sign of a British Aberdeen Angie .. mad cow disease might actually improve their powers of reasoning!

So were there any signs of Frenchness on the run. Maybe a whiff of garlic? A few scantily clad can-can girls? An onion johnny? No the Hare’s had let us down. All there appeared to be were two French Gendarmes posing as Indonesian security (obviously this explains the huge run site fee). Apart from that, the only whiff I caught was of the Petit Generale’s (Tom Jones) “come up my Eiffel tower” tee-shirt but there was not so much as an excusie moi from co-hare Mudguard for his bald headed disrespect for the occasion.

So what about the run. Would our Petit Generale (Napoleon) meet his waterloo. Would there be a pitch invasion from the hashers in celebration of Euro 2000. Read on.

Le Crunche! …. Waterloo for the Petit Generale or Josephines lucky night?

A bad start to the circle. The HM Herpes commenced proceedings by stumbling (drunkenly?) and then blamed another minor earthquake for his lack of sure-footedness. Then there was a serious plea .. buy your piss from the beer truck and make sure you give the cash to Hash Cash to bolster Hash negotiating position with anchor. Merci buckets.

David “Black and Blue Bum” (more of that later) was booked for persistent ball abuse. I can’t believe we haven’t given this wretched sole a hash name when he has been a consistent abuser for over 20 months (that’s his claim anyway).

Koncrete Kock made his not insignificant presence felt. He requested left handers to step forward. Apparently left handers, like himself, have a greater propensity for poofterism (must be an Aussie thing). Unfortunately for Black and Blue Bum, he still hadn’t withdrawn his left hand from his pocket so he was interrogated further. What followed was a test of KKs theory. The scene was like something from the film “Deliverance” with the result bruising and somewhat inconclusive. Suffice to say after the incident Mr Black and Blue Bum was happy to volunteer to cool his bruised parts on the ice. As for the penetrator of this dastardly deed, he simply disappeared ……..any suggestions where?

Then there was the sad bit, at least for Right Said Fred, the owner of one of the worst haring records in hash history. The under achiever was sent off in traditional French style with the “auvoir mon ami” song ( or F.. O.. Y.. C… to the non French). The leaver promised not to come back. Hash Trash was particularly happy to see him go because his much maligned Hash shorts were now going to get internationally exposure .. along with anything inside them.

What about the Indonesian High Court selection procedure. Every judge will have to swear to being “fit and proper” .. no bribes thank you. Could it be applied to the hash? Angie suggested we change the rule slightly to “Unfit and improper” for hash committee selection purposes.

Hares into the circle. Was this to be the Petit Generale’s waterloo, would it be another “not tonight” for Josephine. Would the hashers take pity on the Hareless ones Tom Jones and Mudguard because of the financial loss they had suffered?

First to the SkandaHooligan, the FRB with the gait of a cockerel … many check-backs … well you shouldn’t have spent so much time at the front. Excellent runs from Black Bum. Angie decided to defy the laws of physics. What goes up should not come down on the hash … and if it goes down it should stay down (any guesses what he is talking about?). Tarzan speaking less bullshit than usual, followed paper (good man) and completed reece for Pan Indo (just 5 more JH4 hashing days to D day). Bolty and GoBlock M (maybe he should have been renamed Go Moulin Rouge for the night) both belittled the fact the Hares had to paid exorbitant site fee for run but other wise excellent run. Ultimately HM judged run to be an excellent run ….considering the two losers who were responsible for it.

The co-hare Mudguard, who at least can string a couple of notes together, manfully tried to hit the high notes on the Greatest hasher but failed. The Petit Generale surprised everyone by side tracking the Green Green grass of home and went for a few jokes which he delivered in his own unique style.

Annunciation’s

22^nd July Linda’s 40^th birthday run at Blue Moon 4am in Anyer followed by Batavia run on 23^rd at 10.30am 20klicks south. Some suggest bring your own food because Linda’s is only appreciated by the dogs.

Pan Indoh. Jungle F, in his best Hitler impersonation reminded everyone, what Tarzan had forgotten. Tarzan was up to his usual KKN tricks … who wants a free tee shirt .. to be a Hare. Here’s to the total corrupt and disorganised one.

Angie vainly attempted “Frigging in The Rigging” but fortunately he was pulled and offered something refreshing to lubricate his tied tonsils.

Brazil Nuts, who had just flown in by KonKorde, brought the Aussies to account for their losing performance against the Sheep Shaggers. Apparently the SS just had bigger coons in their team. At this point Tim Pitt chirped up, that it is still obligatory to confess to past convictions when you enter Oz (whether true or not) otherwise you are not allowed in.

Then it was time for pots on the floor and on-on for a bon appetite at the Akbar Palace.

Scribe GG

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