Jakarta Hash House Harriers
Scribe
Sheet Run 1648
HASHSHIT HOLDERS: KK & Yoshi (Run 1641)
SCRIBE’S REPORT Run 1648 Date
July 24th 2000
Itchycock, KK, Yoshi, Postponed
Statistics: Members
28, New Members 3, Visitors 3. Total 34.
Site: P to P from
Jagarowi Golf
With two scribes missing and one inspirationally drained please excuse the humble discourse of a guest writer [EM].
The Run
As the hard and unrelenting Java countryside rushed beneath my feet I was once more glad to be away from the steamy city. The expectation of a Japanese point to point had tickled my fancy all through the day and my work mates must have sensed my increasing excitement as the time passed by and I became less interested in each new contract that descended on my desk. I’d walked away from last week’s circle somewhat disappointed and ashamed that the Acceptable Face of Hashing had won the day. A thoroughly nice couple of guys, Tom Pavarotti Jones and Van Mudguard, had set a run which started and finished precisely on time, the countryside was so well known that even an Alziemers victim could not have got lost and there was more paper than the Encyclopaedia Britannica. And then to crown it all it was designated an excellent run!
Lets not dwell though on the past. Why does the adrenaline flow so fast when the Yellow Peril are setting a run, especially on Hiroshima Day? Maybe it’s the thought of revenge, or those stories of the fabled Death March which are recounted by the old timers or it is just by looking at that confused bunch of Yoshi, KK, Postponed and Itchy Kock.
I digress. During the first twenty minutes the pack had been bunched as well laid checks had us tracing different routes on the western side of Jagorowi golf course. After twenty minutes the front runners were no longer to be seem and I spent much of my time on my own, with just the occasional brief encounter as I passed or was passed by another. The run skirted kampung, took us down through the sawah, through banana groves and for some time along the rocky shore of a river. Perhaps there were too many diversions along spiky cobbled paths but I didn’t care I was enjoying my time in the countryside.
By 5.50 we were still guessing as to where the end would be, but the sun stayed up and with plenty of paper there was no immediate panic that we may loose our way. At one point I passed by Tarzan who appeared to be attempting the regurgitation of a Pterodactyl, but soon he caught me up again and apart from red and watery eyes he seemed no the worse for his experience. It was 6.00 by now and surely the end was nigh. There was a closening rumble from the Jalan Tol and with some apparent insider knowledge my new companions, Fanny and Herpes, informed me that we were destined for Gunung Putri and that our ETA was 4-5 minutes. Fifteen minutes later we arrived close to Riverside Golf.
The Circle
The Hashmaster is obviously looking to get into the Guinness Book of Records, for the most long winded announcements in world hashing and for this reason it took a long time to get around to the run discussion. There were comments from the likes of Mudguard, Hashman, Sadist, some bloke from Philippines, some other new bloke and Superbrat, and I think much to the disgust of our Japanese cousins the run was declare a good run.
VR
at one time stepped in to provide his run rating which was an extremely
interesting [28/2]. Asked why he
continues with the count and does not pass it on to a younger fitter man, such
as Jonesy, he recalled how it reminded him of his happy early years as an
apprentice sheepherder on the slopes of Mount Waratunga, when his task was to
count his charges at the start and end of each day. He then recalled how as he grew towards man hood and with
swelling loins his interests changed and the fairer sex amongst his flock
became the center of his attention. He finally mused for a little time and
quietly confessed that his ardor is somewhat diminished nowadays and his
thoughts are of simpler times when counting sheep was his daily pleasure.
The opportunity to put pen to paper allows me the chance to comment on how this Hashmaster seems hell bent on thwarting the rules and this week we saw that the number of illegal shirts in evidence was seriously out of order. Loathed as I am to name names the perpetrators of such misconduct must be iced, so watch out, Witless [BHHH], the self-styled senior Joint Master Bolt1on [logoless], Tarzan [BHHH] o’Furnicator [BHHH]. How are we ever going to attract new younger members if this sort of thing continues. Another gripe I have with this the first and hopefully last Austrian Hashmaster is with the way he has been allowing the circle to become a rhombus or even semi rhombus, as the night progresses. We come hashing for the circle and not a bloody rhombus.
On the evidence of the night JHHH should not be planing any concert tours. The singing was weak, uncoordinated, and lacked luster, the tenors were off key, boy sopranos squeeky and Tom Jones was mute.
Tarzan, seriously pissed-off at not being able to announce the forthcoming Pan Indo Hash pissed-off early. The representative from the Lithuanian harbormasters society was eerily quiet. Bolt1on castigated Witless Wanker for not learning to sing during his recent return to blighty. Jonesy flashed away ad norsium and I think we can look forward to a lot more bottom of mug shots than usual in the yearbook. With Insp. Gadget and Hashman lurking we were undertained by a series of remodeled jokes variously about pissing in the refrigerator, Filipino laundries and dick holding. Inspector Gadget, or Chameleon Head as he may soon be known, appeared to be sporting yet another new color to his hair, but apart from a few sniggers and muffled whispers little was made of it. [On arriving home later I consulted my DULUX color chart, but struggled to decide whether this weeks tint was Barley Sunset or Apricot Desire].
There were just two awards. Postponed had reached 50 runs and received his well-earned shirt. The prestigious Jeremy Pidgin award went to Hashman [sometimes affectionately called Fat Bastard] for his much praised services to the hash. The latter is a magnificent ‘pewter’ mug in the form of a pigeons egg; one of the very few pigeon egg shaped awards anywhere in the Southern Hemisphere.
Tastefully ‘Whale Meat Again’ was
not on the menu of the hares songs, but an eagerly awaited new song, by Hash
Music in waiting, Postponed, livened up the evening. His rendition of ‘Sweet Memories for Itchy Cock,’ which
was to echo around the kampungs had us all enthusiastically joining in with the
chorus of ‘Itchy Cock, Itchy Cock….’ It should be noted that at this time the
aforementioned Itchy Cock was, much to the amusement of the local onlookers and
concern of the Hashmaster lying semi comatosed at the edge of the circle. My
mind is a little misty as to whether the hares sung another song, but I vaguely
remember KK, Postponed and Yoshi giving it ago and perhaps I remember ‘I Did it Sideways,’ but by this time a
few too many beers and it was soon time to leave. So with hats off and pot in
the circle……
Back
to the Bonsai [EM]
Click below to go to :
