Jakarta Hash House Harriers
Scribe
Sheet Run 1651
HASHSHIT
HOLDERS: KK & Yoshi (Run
1641)
SCRIBE’S REPORT Run: 1651 Date: 14 August, 2000
Hares: Magic Dragon, Superbrat, Angie
Statistics: Members 30, New Members 9, Visitors 1.
Total: 40.
Site: Cimanggis
Yes, please calm down, I understand your excitement now you realize that your favorite scribe “Holy Joop” has returned from a short 13 week well deserved holiday. During this period of R & R, I had the pleasure to still receive the sheets by E-mail and was pleased to discover, that 90 % of the scribing during my absence was done by Superbrat or the “Turd Scribe”.
Being a Cloggy with limited schooling, I had no idea what “Turd” stood for, so I looked it up in the “Oxford Advanced Dictionary of modern English”. There stood (check it yourself): “Turds are the little balls or lumps which make up the excrements from sheep”. Did our beloved Hashmaster think that Superbrat was from New Zealand, when he baptized him with this name of honor, or had he other motives? We might never know.
The Run:
A text-book Point-to-Point, good run, nobody was complaining even Vatican Rag was reasonably content. Let future hares take note of this: If you lay a Point-to-Point don’t make it too bloody long and be sure to lay the last 1/3 of the run straight forward and predictable with lots of paper, no more checks and easy terrain. If you cannot manage this, don’t lay a P-to-P. Todays run fulfilled all these conditions, on top of this a nice area, running partly through virgin hash-land. Well done hares. Even Bloodknock whose verdict was asked for could not come up with something nasty. Verdict: Good run.
The Circle:
There was a record turn-out, Herpes our divine HM came to the only conclusion, that this was because of the return of our wildly popular scribe “Holy Joop”. As all MM’s were Hares, Rabbeye was called in to perform, he gave a stellar performance culminating in a duet with Magic Dragon rendering a sensitive song about pubic hair, which brought tears in the eyes of even the most hardened hasher. Our HM announced that the beer prices had increased, but run fees could remain the same, but only if we could find some stupid cunt to donate a Keg of beer every Monday for only Rp. 290.000. Meaning that for this cunt his run fee would have gone up to Rp. 320.000, thus subsidizing us all. Might be hard to find such a stupid bastard, so let us all share the burden and add a fiver.
Sadist turned 60 years old and was duly rewarded, although he was a bit overdressed, he invited everybody to his birthday bash on Friday August 18 at 19 hours in the Golden hotel. The party will last the whole weekend and require a small donation to be paid to Tarzan. 60 years and still running, we wonder if this – besides the esthetic part - is socially acceptable. Should we impose a mandatory retirement age? This idea was indeed discussed during the last mis-management meeting, together with the suggestion to also exclude poofters and wankers. But the idea was fast discarded, because 70 % of the hashers are over 60, 20 % are poofters and/or wankers (an affliction which often comes combined) and the remaining others are liars who would have to shoulder a tenfold increase in run fees.
But let us not spend too much time on these trivial matters and go to the main event of the night. Who would ever have guessed that the Indonesian government would visit the hash? Of course they did so incognito using their hash names (in their younger days they all have been fervent hashers). Gus Dur in his younger days was running as “Magic Dragon”, Akbar used the fitting name “Superbrat” and Mega who had a special role, was called “Angus”, which stood for burning rubber.
They also explained the reason why they came. They confessed that it was impossible to find suitable candidates for the new cabinet and that as a last resort they came to the hash. Nick Leeson was elected as Finance minister and he pledged that under his reign more than the silly $ 50 milliard from the past would disappear, Jungle Fucker became minister of forests and he promised to solve once and for all the annual forest fire problem, by removing all remaining trees, under the yell “no more forests”.
The evening ended with the welcoming ceremony of a new member (they keep on coming somebody has to stop this). He not only got an Anker soaked T-shirt (a novel way to drink Anker compared to those old fashioned mugs) and was baptized “Brave Fart”, because he told us, to be brave when a fart comes up. He advised: “Don’t keep it in just because there are some people around you. It can even benefit you when you need some breathing (not the right word perhaps) space. And if you don’t like overcrowded elevators, a good fart can work wonders”. He shared his technique with us, if he has to go to the 22nd floor, he presses 22 and 2, and farts on the 1st as soon as the doors are closed. From the 2nd to the 22nd floor he always has the elevator for himself. A good advice from Brave Fart and a fitting name.
By the way, where is Konkrete Kock when you need him?
On, on, on
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