Jakarta Hash House Harriers
Scribe
Sheet Run 1652
SCRIBE’S REPORT Run 1652 Date August 21st 2000 Jungle
Fucker, Tarzan, Tommy the Who
Statistics: Members 33, New
Members 4, Visitors 0. Total 37. Site: Sate Bangdut
Some Mothers Do Have’em
The omens were bad from the start.
No run directions in the Jakarta Post and the Hare’s themselves had no clue
where the run was to be held. As they say .. "Some Mothers Do
Have’em", and three mothers were certainly had the day these Jungle
Bunnies (Indo Hares) were born. Let us look at their particulars. First we have
the master of security (he whispers incoherently in everyone’s ear ) and
Chairman of Pan Indo Hash, Pak Tarzan. He must be the most disorganised and
accident-prone man on the planet (at least since Michael Crawford faded from
our memory). He gets himself into more holes than Bobby’s Bobbit and yet
through guile, wit and smooth talking … wait a minute, I must be thinking of
some else… he always comes up smelling of roses (or is it Brut 45). What’s his
secret weapon? Maybe he is playing us all for fools. Maybe he is a lot smarter
than he has us believe. Maybe he is really a budding Einstein who’s incoherent
babbling are his latest theory on splitting the atom. Then again ……dunnae be
daft laddie. And so to Jungle Fucker. Maybe we are being a bit harsh
tarring him with same supercilious brush as Tarzan. Well actually no! We have
here the current (dare I say enormously proud) holder of two out of three of
the Jakarta Hash Shits. Rumour has it he is looking for a full house of Hash
Shits and Jakarta Hash Immortality. After much deliberation he chose a Co-Hare
who he considered to have the fewest number of cans in his six pack (a
difficult decision with such talent to choose from) to help him create history.
Well, to begin with at least, JFs decision appeared to be paying off … who else
but Tarzan would have the temerity to pick the same run site twice in 3 weeks!
Jungle Fucker had obviously chosen his partner wisely but would he make Hash
History! Read on ……..
Tarzan and Another Whoopsie?
The HM started proceedings on a low
note. Actually it was on no note at all on account of Elephant Man forgetting
the trumpet (what he was doing with it in first place was not clear).
Brave Fart was living up to his new
name by challenging for the Master Of Music position … brave for him, painful
for the rest of us.
Pan Indo. Step forward Pan Indo
chairman ("me Chairman of Pan Indo you f-------- trouble ") and
committee (Tommy The Who, Jungle Fucker and Sadist) . Apparently no major
fuck-ups this year … obviously more evidence of Tarzan’s Houdini-like skills to
get himself out of the shit. Highlights of the weekend appeared to be the
ladies from Jogja (and their improper advances to one of our members … the Mr
Wiggly concerned was not impressed). Tarzan nearly brought the secret religious
police down on himself whilst doing a strip tease singing Borung Saya ("My
Bird"). Fortunately he was stopped before the ladies from Jogja got too
excited. The flat-footed one, Nick Leeson, apparently spent a lot of time in
the ladies toilets to the consternation of BloodKnock. It was not clear whether
he was on police business or desperately trying to sell more Hash Trash. Not
much feedback on the runs themselves although Colonel Bloodknock was impressed
by their length … well he did get lost and run them twice.
Bring in the sheepish looking
Hare’s. What would the circle make of their blatant piece of hash plagiarism.
Would it be an "Oooooo …. Betty" or a Houdini escape? Sadist thought
second half of the run was a load of shit … just like the first half.
Bloodknock sought clarification on why the disorganised one (Tarzan) had asked
him where run was on morning of the event. Superbrat, suitably unimpressed,
thought this was a classic … a classic lesson of how not to lay a run. Jonesy
mumbled on about it not being a good run … how would he know, he can’t run (or
hide for that matter). Brave Fart impressed with his knowledge of Gold Fish
informing that Gold Fish have a memory of only 20 seconds then he forget what
he was going to say next ................ curse those damn fish! Other
comments, MGM being the most damning… give Jungle Fucker a hash Shit just
because he has two already. The weighty verdict was left to Herpes, the man who
is unable to say the words "Hash Shit". His assessment
…"reasonably good run". Boring! So there you have it. Another
miraculous escape by Tarzan et al. How does he (keep) doing it?
Annunciation’s
Volcano Run 15th to 17th
September. Please register with Herpes, Bolt One On now!
ANSA - the other policeman’s ball. Nick Leeson main suspect.
Pan Indo 2001 …. Only joking.
A bit of Hash history now. Did you know that Tom Jones once held up the Merak
train on a hash so that all hashers could board and that Witless was hit by the
same train? Fortunately the trail was repairable ….but Witless obviously
wasn’t!
Inspector Gadjet, 400 run achiever, please step forward (what more policemen!).
Gadjet will soon be taking up a new position in the Russian navy, once he has
bought a tin opener, mask and snorkel.
Jonsey, with a memory like a gold fish, reminded us of the joke Bolt One On
told a few weeks ago. It wasn’t good enough then and it wasn’t much better now!
The Hare’s thankfully didn’t sing and the jokes were short and er ….. short.
Continuing the animal theme, Brave Fart sang us the Donkey Song (no signs of a
gold fish memory). Verdict was that it was a most promising performance … he
uses even less notes that Angie!.
Proceedings drawing to a close. Pots
on the floor, anthem and then off to Sate Bangdut for some excellent tucker.
Scribe
GG
Click below to go to :
