ACTING SCRIBE REPORT: Run 1658 DATE: 25/9/00 Bolt One On & Tom Jones

Statistics: Members 22, New Members & Visitors 5: Total 27

Run Site: Sentul Service Station

The Run

The run was one of the most demanding this year. Not only did we manage to lose a visitor (Herpes brother) for about 3 hours but we all became aquanauts. This writer can only subscribe to the view that the Hares were trying to kill us all by either electrocution from lightning strikes or drowning in attempts to cross flood swollen rivers. At one river crossing a hasher was heard to remark that “this can’t be very deep” (an apparent reference to the vertically challenged nature of one of the hares), however, as fate would have it, they were famous last words. This brings me to another point, are our Religious Advisers really up to the task? It appears to me that in the last month the only rain that falls is on a Monday afternoon commencing at about 5.00pm concluding at about 8.00pm. Call me cynical but aren’t the RA’s meant to ensure that it doesn’t rain, rather than the reverse. At one stage in the circle it didn’t rain so hard that not only couldn’t you hear the pearls of wisdom coming from Herpes but some of us were in danger of being swept away by the rising flood waters. The best thing that can be said for this run is that the On-On was at Osca’s.

Now to the obviously rigged run reports made by the blind drunken drowned members of the Circle. Colonel Bloodknock reported that it was a good run apparently in an attempt to gain later favors at the On-On as one Hare had stated that the female entertainment would be free (another lie). Mudguard then reflected on the run for a nano-second and in some obvious confusion stated the run was excellent. Stop taking the red tablets is all the advice I can give. Cheese Balls then bought some sanity to the meeting stating the obvious comparisons between parts of the female anatomy and this run. Next Week then raised the question of lightning strikes, with his height it would be an obvious danger. Kevin Fucking Desmond then stated what we all knew that the run was fucked, though in a very eloquent manner, which he may have also been trying to use when he attempted to speak to the local constabulary using the medium of ice. Elephant Man bought a tear to most eyes in the Circle by revealing that he was ‘brother less’ and that atleast Herpes having lost his had atleast had one to love and cherish. I hasten to add that these profound comments were made after Elephant Man had likened Herpes brother to a crispy fried dog excrement. Witless then added to the report and in a surprising revelation mentioned the concept of Hydrophobia. This revelation of some sort of education confounded many Hashers particularly the Welsh, Austrians and New Zealanders who of course had no idea what he meant. Angie then spoke on behalf of the later arrivers, and raised a good point of why there were three circles at the second check-around. Later revelations by Bolt One On appeared that it was him just being his normal self.

The overall run report resulted in the status of ‘Good Run’.

The Circle

Announcements

Angie: The Hash Golf Day is on Sunday 1/10/00 at the Riverside Golf Course. Places are now finalised.

Tarzan: Cilacap Hash are organising a run on Nusa Kambangan Island on 7/10/00.

Jokes and Down Downs

I have said this before but its not until you have to record the circle that you actually realise that some of our members have some serious psychiatric conditions which would in most normal societies result in their criminal incarceration in either solitary confinement or a funny white suit. The song selection by Angie again appeared to center on sexual intercourse, gang bangs and instruments of sexual gratification/pain (at one stage Elephant Man appeared to be thinking about Eskimo Nell a bit too much). The most deserving down down was given to Mudguard who couldn’t attend a hash function because his mother in law was coming. This caused great horror amongst members of the circle and he was iced as a way of extracting this demon.

A comment made whilst on the ice revealed something of his character though; “Not only do I have to put up with my mother in law but I get iced as well”. Clearly a man with problems. Next Week and Cheese Balls were then presented with their 150 run shirts, iced, drowned and verbally abused. Next Week required subsequent icing and drowning for his predilection for dry shirts. We now come to perhaps the lowest point of the night when the Hares attempted to tell jokes. Tom Jones needs another job and joke telling is not it. Bolt One On confused fish with Germans in his session but atleast it may have had some humor in it. Pretty Boy was then given a down down for confusing an apparent height change in the Circle Umbrella with the fact that he was standing in a ditch washed away in the flood conditions.

Next weeks run

Hares: Sadist and Elephant Man. Departure point Rafalasia.

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