Jakarta Hash House Harriers
Scribe
Sheet Run 1660
HASHSHIT
HOLDERS: Cheeseballs & Leeky Dick
(run 1656)
SCRIBE’S REPORT
Run: 1660 Date: October 9, 2000
Hares: O’Furnicator, Wittless Sjanker, Wombat
Statistics: Who cares Site: Jatakaria to Citra Gran, Jl.Alternatif
The Run
A Point-to-point to the other side of the street, but what a complicated way to cross the street. The hares must have been pissed, because the shortest way between 2 points is a straight line. And this was not a straight line, to cross the street would have taken normal people 5 to 10 minutes, but the way they laid it it took up to 2 ½ hours for certain people. Bemo Bob came in after 2 hours together with an almost naked Yoshi (what happened to rule # 6). And Concrete Cock who had relayed his own paper came back after 4 hours. He immediately started to insult all other hashers, by starting his story of his miserly Odysseus journey with: “We normal people”. Thus making 2 big mistakes in a sentence of only 3 words. What “we” and what “normal”. But he made good by putting on a nice glittering and shining pair of shorts (I have to write this, because if I ignore his outfit I am in the shit. He might be next year’s yearbook editor again.
The Circle
This was probably the best circle of the year, if not from the century. The biggest contribution to this success was the absence of the 2 Herbs, both Herpes and B-1-on blessed us by not being there. Resulting in the fact that the Joint-Joint-Joint-Hash Master (J-J-J-HM) Elephant man was our leader for the night. What a change, he immediately changed the format of the circle, by getting his priorities right. The first thing Elephant Man (a very fitting name for a great leader) did was to pay attention to the most important people of the hash, the scribes. He asked the circle: “Who read last weeks sheet?”. Shamefully all had to admit that nobody did. He then continued: “Would you have read the sheet if it had been written by Holy Joop?” Now everybody agreed, that nobody would want to miss a single word of what this superb scribe would have written. “Okay”, Elephant man said, “don’t worry, Holy will be this weeks scribe.” Applause and yells of appreciation filled the circle. Our J-J-J-HM broke another record, that of the longest announcement. He improved Herpes record, which was standing at 1 hour 23 minutes, which Elephant Man set sharper at 1 hour and 46 minutes. Can he ever be beaten? Do we still have to look for a new Hashmaster for next year? I think that we found him already.
Witless Sjanker entered the circle to announce the sad demise of Jaffle, who according to Witless was the best scribe we ever had. I would like to dispute that claim, and think that the only reason W.W. said this, was because he wanted to give the impression that he can read. Wittless broke hash tradition by not asking for 1 minute silence, but for a circle wide Down-Down to apy respect to Jaffle.
Now Mudguard entered the circle to announce the Hash Crash, he and B-1-on seem to have bought themselves into a car repair shop as they invited the hash for a 2 day effort on November 18/19 to wreck your car. For the ones not yet sick and tired of sitting in the traffic they have organized a 10 hour mystery drive to a misery (or mystery) location starting at 6 A.M. (no this is no typing error) and arriving at 17 PM somewhere, so you can bring your car to a garage before it gets dark. Sedans are discouraged, so rent a
tank. Phone B-1-on to get your subscription form.
Run discussion
The hares were borrowed from the Batavia Hash, as no JHHH member was prepared to lay this German unification run. Rabeye seemed very upset about this and instead of asking to ice all JHHH members, he wanted to punish our Batavia friends. Fuck, they were the ones who saved the day. Holy Joop - that sharp observer – had a more balanced opinion. He voted the run, “one of the best of the 21 century”, history most probably will prove him right (as usual). Now Elephant man made a mistake (we forgive him, he was
excellent on all other parts) and started to berate Holy Joop, for the way he pronounced his English. Elephant man said:”This is an English Hash” (how wrong can somebody be). Holy Joop, sharp as always, reacted: “No Tusk, this is an international hash, we have even Danes participating, and this country has been a Dutch colony for 350 years, so if any language should be spoken it has to be Dutch. The only reason why we accept English is because you stupid uneducated bastards don’t not understand Dutch. Than Elephant man tried to prove his right by asking KK and Tarzan to show how real good English has to be spoken. It almost convinced me, as it sounded better than Elephants dialect.
The hares were asked to sing. They were shocked. “Why??? They asked in disbelief, singing takes away precious drinking time. How can you sing and drink at the same time? That is a health hazard. We don’t have these silly singing interludes on Thursdays”. The JHHH members were struck with awe; these were real men, no singing pauses to prolong the time between drinks, like on the pussy Monday hash. “We not only don’t sing, we also drink beer”, the hares said. “We too” said one of the Monday hashers meekly. “You
don’t” said O’Furnicator, “This is beer” he said and he lifted a can with B^%#ng. “Try to drink it” he challenged the circle. But nobody dared, most threw their can away. This prompted O’Furnicator to sing the song “A hash without beer”. The other hares Wombat and Wittles Sjanker followed, Wombat with a very short song and WW rendered a Rap song, at least it was a lot of words without any melody, perhaps it was a crap song.
Elephant man than showed a novelty, a pair of knickers, which can also be used as a condom. He asked Rabbeye to try it on, it looked very tidy. Without an erection it looks like a pair of normal knickers, but if you get a hard one, it will encapsulate your dick and act as a condom. Modern day technology indeed has no limits. Did we forgot yo mention our fashionable new members from Thailand? Yes.
On, on, on. From Holy Joop
Click below to go to :
