SCRIBE’S REPORT Run 1667 Date November 20 2000 Koncrete Kock & Leeky Dick

Statistics: Members 37, New Members 0, and Visitors 6. Total 43. Site: Sentul Selatan

The Run: Tommy The Where?

The eighth wonder of the world . . . no, not the Borubudur but Tommy’s ability to avoid Indonesian justice was again in the news. The manhunt was now in its third week and in a fit of desperation the Attorney General had enrolled the assistance of Koncrete Kock and the local JH3 bloodhounds (or should that be piss-hounds) to find the elusive Indonesian Pimpernel. The JH3 hunt started with an anonymous tip off, the Hares and Hounds duly set off to darkest Sentul Selatan in search of Tommy the Where? Tommy had reportedly been seen carrying a large sack full of his ill gotten gains, heading cross country to only Tommy knew where. Fortunately for the hounds he had snagged his sack on a branch and left a trail of paper in his wake. “Tally ho” said the lead red coat Herpes, and the hounds were off as quick as a tortoise in heat. They followed the paper under bridges, over bridges, across rivers, through snake-infested jungle and worse still, through heaps of stinking singkong. However, it was clear from an early stage that Tommy suspected he might be followed and therefore took radical evasive actions with loops, double backs etc but the paper from his sack kept the good guys on his trail. However, things went pare shaped when the trail went cold in a Kampung and the hounds ended up chasing there own tails (and then later the local maidens). Some way off a horn blew and a silhouette of “the fool on the hill” could be seen. Was this Tommy ... dunnae be daft laddie... it was that other fool Tarzan. Eventually the trail was picked up again but it was cold and the poor sniffer hounds were subjected to more stinking Singkong and loop and more loops. Eventually all the hounds returned forlorn with their tails between their legs (at least they hadn’t lost those!). Tommy the Where had given the pack the slip but his days were surely numbered. Would he survive another week on the run? Check back next week to find out.

The Circle: Back in the USSR (Usual Shit Stirring Ring)

Herpes opened the circle and began with his usual crucifixion of the Queen’s English. Does any one have a clue what an Ooopitur is? (clue – it is in the night sky) and who the fuck are wizzitors?… come back Tarzan all is forgiven. But this was not the only case of Foot in Mouth decease. Go Block M apparently had an even worse case known in medical circles as Hand and Foot in the Mouth decease. Herpes wasn’t yet finished on his decease-ridden theme. He reassured everyone that you can’t catch herpes from Mad Cow infected beef ... that’s a relief … unless you eat his leftovers!

Tarzan won the ugly mug competition and his drinking cup was unsightly too.

The Hash Crash had received a very critical review from Turd Scribe but what had really happened? Well apparently the “Crash” involved a lot silly old buggers driving around the countryside trying to catch live rabbits, rats and anything else they could abuse. The intellectual highlight was the quiz which had such obtuse questions as “what is the GDP of Finland?”, with quite brilliant answers such as “who the fuck cares!”. Herpes, was obviously too intelligent for this game as he got the “booby” prize (the one without the nipples) whilst Angie and his warped brain bagged the top prize. The Hare, Bolt1on, was iced for a HashShit he didn’t lay whilst the real culprits, co-hares MudGuard and Nick Leeson, were thanked for organising a beautiful weekend. Poor old Bolty.

Tommy the Where made a brief appearance and smugly said you haven’t caught me yet before disappearing again with his sack full of loot. Obviously crime does pay.

The Colonel then attempted to solve the US presidential tie. Bring the stand-in presidential candidates Magic Dragon and Next Week into the USSR. Bring in the Indonesian observers to ensure there is no KKN in the vote counting. Now for a manual count of the floating and non-floating voters. The final outcome was very close. Gus Dur won by a short head, just beating the British monarchy into second. Better luck next time MD and NW.

The Magical Mystery Tour Run Discussion

Having aided and abetted Tommy The Where? to evade justice again, the hares Koncrete Kock and Leeky Dick , commonly known as the fab four and a half inches, were brought into the USSR. All run comments were generally complementary reflecting the free supply of Leeky in the skies with diamonds (LSD). Superbrat, still harping on about Hash Crash, thought the run was everything Saturday’s run should have been. Pretty Boy, having had a hard days night in the back of a pick up truck from Bogor (don’t ask) was still dreaming of live white bunnies. Clark Kunt, the new great white Canadian swimming hope, regaled us with his (yellow) sub-marine exploits in the local sess pits. Sheep’s Kin was unsure whether he was a Hare or a sheep or a beatle. Tarzan was blown off paper and caught blowing his own unauthorised horn. ICE! Herpes summed up the discussion by proclaiming it a good run; beautiful area but too much stinking singkong. Koncrete and Leeky celebrated by singing an obscure Beatles ditty. Bring back 19 Ankers… again.

Achievers: I want to shake your hand

Clark Kunt received his 10 run shirt for doing what must be 110. Again Jonesy was caught drooling over this smart shirt which apparently has alluded the prodigious Walker. Clark declined to sing the British national anthem but passed the bi-ligual test with his stirring French singing and expressive body language.

Jack Off received a 100 run shirt and gave a tuneful rendition of “day o”, making his claim for next year’s master of music.

Jonesy was a 150 walk achiever.

Tommy the Where? returned to collect his 200 run shirt. Although his song was great he will not be free to do the master of music for the next 18 months.

Then there was Pretty Boy with 250 runs and a sad little ditty about Dewi Malone.

And so it was to pots on the floor, swing as best you can, and get pissed at Chateau Koncrete on your own account. (Excellent tucker KK.) Gay Gordon

Click below to go to :

Other sheets

Anker bir logo