Jakarta Hash House Harriers
Scribe
Sheet Run 1668
HASHSHIT HOLDERS: Cheese Balls & Leecky Dick
SCRIBE’S REPORT Run: 1668 Date: November 27, 2000
Hares: Bastard, Pretty Boy, Poisin
Statistics: 47 runners Site: Off Jl. Alternatip
The
Triple Hijack Run
The run
We can and will be short about the run, althought he run itself was not short, and many returned well after dark (scary it was). This was the Irish run, notorious for the Hijacks, which occurred each of the last 5 years. Would it happen again? Read all about it. Yes the run was hijacked again, but this time we were not brought to an unknown location without beer, but came back where we started. So this was a double hijack, the original run hijacked by the IRA and the IRA run hijacked again by the hares.
Run discussion
In spite of the long run, the run discussion lasted longer than the run itself. Most remarks are not worth repeating here, except that one of Holy Joop, who always seem to have a witty comment ready, what would the hash be without him. He found it a stupid run, because after the IRA hijack diversion he and about 40 other hashers followed B-1-on, how stupid one can be. Only after B-1-on called “Follow me, I know where we are going”, Holy realized, the folly and went immediately left to ran into the beer truck after
50 meters. Needless to say that B-1-on returned hours later. Colonel Bloodknock called it a “multiple-choice” run, as the paper went in all directions. Angie found the double hijack enough reasons to call it a hashshit. He got the support of all intelligent hashers, and as this – of course - was an absolute minority our divine Austrian leader called it a good run.
Our Austrian was recently rapped for discrimination as only fair-haired Ariers were allowed to speak in the past. To disprove these allegations he invited Tarzan to speak, which was a mean thing to do. Tarzan spoke and the whole circle agreed that they preferred continued discrimination above “Tarzan Speaking” ever again. This was an act of torture from our HM.
Announcements
KK (who is the half brother of Angie, they have exactly the same profile) announced the next week Pearl Harbor run (Yummie: Sake and Jap food, better than the P.O.W’s got during WW-II). His Japanese announcements, were translated skillfully by no-one else than Konkrete-Kock (another KK) who first surprised us by showing off his Russian and now again by his knowledge of Japanese. Will this man never stop surprising us, is he a genius or what?
Mudguard announced, that he was deceitfully deprived of a return trip to Europe, as Bemo Bob, skilfully had manipulated the raffles draw (after he had left and after having paid only half for the St. Andrew’s ball) to win the Europe trip for himself and his unmentionable. Ice was the rightful reward for the manipulator and his victim. Remorsefully Bemo-Bob donated a keg of beer, which according to Herpes was long overdue, as Bemo had promised this already a long time ago. But I don’t agree with his criticasters, Bob is donating a keg of beer each time he comes. How? Because in the past he drank a keg of beer each evening, which miraculously has stopped, he does not drink anymore and looks remarkable lighter.
The circle
Our circles are slowly turning in a poofters showcase, it is disheartening to see how many hashers start to dress themselves up, one tries to look better than the other. Was it so-far Konkrete Kock who was stealing the show, now he was shocked to see G-Block-M challenging him, Go-Block-M – what is true is true - looked like a 16th century prince dressed in Gala. He explained that his was the Lituanian national dress. If it is true that he will be the next Makassar Habermaster, he will be wearing a sarong soon. Where is this
going to end, will we wear lipstick and wigs next time? Hash master do something, this has to stop.
Scribe of the millennium hijacked
Is the story finished, have we had “pots on the floor”? No, I would have loved to be able to write more about the circle, but at 7.30 I suddenly heard the threatening voice of B-1-on: “Holy we have to go home NOW, otherwise you walk home (I got a ride in his car) and I never share a sexcretaty with you anymore if by accident 2 show up at the same time”. I am not a chicken and I never bowed to pressure, but the latter threat – as all will agree – was so devious, that I had to oblige and left the circle at 7.30. The reason for
B-1-on’s demand was obvious, he had a hot date coming to his love nest at 8 o’clock (what is wrong with 9 o’clock next time Bolty, or are you too tired by then?). People who envy the love life of this modern day Casanova might ask: “What is B-1-on’s secret”. I have extracted his secret, by using a lie-detector (bottle of Scotch), after the second bottle he gleefully started to boast about his never failing method to charm the ladies.
“Tell me your secret Bolty?” I said, and he replied with a mumbling voice: “Rp. 500,000, I give them Rp. 500,000 Holy, that does the trick” he said with a thick tongue. I was amazed, so that was the secret, that no-body else ever discovered this, this man was a genius. I suddenly understood that Bolty doubled as an ATM machine and his business-cards as ATM-cards, which he has been distributing by the hundreds to the girls in all the known Jakarta watering holes. All these girls in Jakarta know, that if they need money they only have to take his business card, phone him, go to his mansion, and they will receive their Rp. 500,000. They only have to allow that Bolty slips something into their private parts (which last only seconds and which they hardly are able to notice). Not
only the girls in possession of his cards contact him, these girls even give this information to their friends in financial need. That is why B-1-on always has a small bucket of cold water with him, to cool down his constantly ringing handphone. B-1-on, you are really a great example for all of us, your generosity to the lesser blessed part of the society makes you almost a male mother Theresa. The “Nobel” price should be around the corner.
On, on, on
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