Jakarta Hash House Harriers
Scribe
Sheet Run 1686
HASHSHIT HOLDERS: B-1-on, Mudguard, Nick Leeson (Run 1666)
Run: 1686 Date: March 23, 2001
Runners: 62
Hares: Bolt-one-on and Superbrat
Theme of the evening: “Blok MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm”,
30-Year’s of
Hashing
The Run
We all met at old Jl. Telesonic, presently named Jl. Kemang Selatan V, which in
the past was lush tropical forest, with monkeys swinging from the trees, tigers
roaming around, but now consists of houses and petrol filling stations. The run
was a “Point to Pushy” run. It was a great run, especial for the non-smokers,
as this gave them also a chance to inhale poisonous substances. It was a very
fitting run considering the average age of the hashers, 30 minutes for the
intelligent ones and a bit longer for the stupid ones.
Meaning that your scribe and 3 other hashers arrived after 30 minutes and the rest 20 minutes later. The attendance was great, and read like the “who is who” of a rich-and-famous magazine. Celebrities from the present and the past, like Holy Joop, Hardcase, Froggy Park, Pitstop, At-the-Loo, Dyke, Yep-Yep, Gordon Benton to name just a few, were present. After 30 minutes of running we arrived at a place some people said was called “Akbar Palace” it had very little resemblance of a palace. We took the elevator to the top-floor to have the circle in the palace (what happened to the times when the circles were held in the open air? Are we getting scared of the rain?).
The circle
Was I looking to the National
Geographic or the Discovery Channel? Because what I saw was very
extra-ordinary. To celebrate this 30-year milestone, they showed us a Hasher
named Gordon Benton, who we were to believe, had joined the first hash in March
1971. It was like seeing suddenly a Dinosaur alive.
But they don’t trick me, hashers don’t get that old, this was a decoy. The decoy apologized for still being alive, because one of his colleague hashers named Jeremy Pidgeon, also from the first hour was faster than him. Not running faster, dying faster. Gordon was still annoyed about him losing this “who-dies-first” contest.
Had Gordon won, the coveted “Jeremy Pidgeon award” would have been named the
“Gordon-Benton-Award”. So old Gordon would not feel alone, Bloodknock our excellent RA decided to call all 60 plussers into the circle. This resulted in only 4 hashers being left outside. This became even worse when he decided to grant all people a Down-Down, who were divorced because of the hash, this left only 2 persons outside the circle.
After this the Froggy Park was allowed to be the stand-in RA, we immediately knew, that this would postpone our dinner with at least 2 hours. First he started ranting about wee Ronny Strachan. After this he called in the Dutch to sing a song. This was a strike of genius of Froggy, as he knew that the circle would appreciate this. He was right, under the divine and inspirational leadership of Holy Joop (how does he find the inspiration and what a talent has this man, he not only is the best scribe but also sings like a lark) they started to sing one Dutch folksong after another. The circle was impressed and kept asking for “encores”. Konkrete Kock gave us a tip how to arse-fuck young boys by dropping 100 Rps at a mandi place. When they bent over to pick up the coin, he succeeded to jump 5 boys. Thanks for sharing your valued experience Konkrete, who added; that the less anal inclined could try this trick with girls.
“Pots-on-the-floor”, At-the-Loo, who once (ages ago, even Gordon did not remember him) also was a hasher, sang the hymn. Then it was up to the makan, a few floors down (what a big place is this Akbar Palace). During the meal several hashers approached your scribe and slipped him a Rp. 100,000 note asking him not to mention their name in the sheet. “I am not here”, is what they all said. Who also was not “here” was Witless (previously named Witless Wanker), because she was short of a little money. There might also have been another reason - as people who have read the investigative report of the Turd Scribe, might already suspect – Witlles might be at home, honing his skills in plate-throwing to be ready for the next Greek Olympics. Herpes our beloved HM, asked for sponsors, so Witless could at least join the Saturday party, but he could not collect more the Rp. 25 (smaller coins are not available anymore).
The
Party
The theme this time – for unknown reasons - was the seventies. Prices
would be given for the best-dressed man and woman. The male winner was Pitstop
alias “Freddy Mercury”, but this was not because he resembled Freddy so well,
it was because of KKN. What has this perverted man done? He brought along a
walking pair of nice titties and allowed our Hashmaster to stand close to them
and even to have his picture taken with these titties, so he could later wank
on this. But before Pitstop allowed our HM this perverted pleasure, our HM he
had to promise Pitstop to make him the “best dressed man” of the evening. A
heinous crime of our HM, and this for a person who claims that fighting heinous
crimes is his first priority. But he was punished severely and swift for his
heinous crime, so luckily crime does not always pay.
The “best-dressed-girl” award this time did not go to Konkrete Kock, who was trans-dressed like a man this time. But it went to Liza G. This time there was no KKN involved, she was the obvious choice with her orange hairdo. And the color orange makes us Dutchies always feel good. We would have selected Liza also when she had not worn any clothes at all and only her orange hair.
Than came the usual tragic bit. The obligatory show, where usually the only people enjoying themselves are the ones on the stage. I remember hash-trashes where we (the remaining 4 persons in the audience, as the rest was on stage) were “entertained” for a solid 3 hours and only waited because we were too greedy to miss the door prices, and after the draw we all made a bee-line for the exit. This time it was short and snappy, in only 30 minutes we went through 30 years of hash history (not too difficult because each hash is exactly the same). The last part was excellent, showing some hashers looking so old, that we really have to salute the make-up artists who made them look so old. At least that is what we thought, to discover later that they players were naturally themselves. Good show following a trend of short and snappy, very entertaining shows, which started last year.
Then dancing started, thanks to a public, which had decided that they wanted to have fun. But for the next Hash-Trash we should hire a life band. The disco was chaotic, the boys who operated the disco had a very good sense for the right music. As soon as they had put on – by accident – a good dancing song, and everybody ran to the dance floor and started to dance happily, they immediately stopped this in its track by suddenly changing to some “un-danceable” music. But all-in-all a very enjoyable evening, good food, good company, good show and …..music.
Sunday
run # 1687 (Hares At-the-Loo and B-1-on)
A family run. The directions given told us to told us, that after the Cileungsi
intersection we had to proceed for 8 KM. I don’t know how long a KM is in
B-1-on’s brain, but there was a sign that the project site was 15 minutes away.
After driving for 30 minutes this sign said 10 minutes and after another half
hour on the road, the sign said 5 minutes. Anyhow we were blessed with a nice
virgin location. The hares have done a lot to please us. At the entrance road
they placed statues of Monday hashers and at the roundabout they even put a big
statue of a happy Hashing family, to show that this was a family run. Well
done. Although the countryside was not so exciting justifying the long drive.
Anyhow it was a nice afternoon, not to hot during the run, due to the
over-cast. Which after the run changed in a lot of rain. Nice afternoon, new
site, and excellent food, to be expected from the Pare-Pare kitchen. Made this
a well organized final of the 30-year celebrations.
On, on, on HolyJoop
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