Jakarta Hash House Harriers
Scribe
Sheet Run 1691
HASHSHIT HOLDERS: Tarzan, Gay Gordon (Run 1689)
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Tarzan
speaking, giving details of the next Panasia Hash:
#$%#&*Ψήβδщض٤٨٭پگ₣₪Ω№€שּׁגּﻚ#*&$@
щض٤#&*Ψήβδщ
€שּׁגּﻚ#
Ψήβδщض٤٨٭پگ₣₪Ω№€שּׁגּﻚ#*&$@
щض٤#&*Ψήβδщ
щض٤#&*Ψήβδщ
$@ щ
Ψήβδщض٤٨٭پگ₣₪Ω№€שּׁגּﻚ#*&$@
щض٤
SCRIBE’S REPORT Run: 1691 Date: April 16, 2001
Runners: 35
Hare: Sadist
A record making evening
Several records were broken this evening. First we had the SHORTEST RUN OF THE HASH HISTORY, which – as it was such a boring run – felt like “The longest march ever”, people returning thought that it was 6 O’clock in the morning, as they were so bored that every minute looked like an hour.
As our Hash master got lost into seemingly nice countryside, he voted it a good run. It was also a nightmare for short hashers, like me. We either had to wade up to our necks through the water or our sight was blocked by 2-meter high grass.
The second record will be that this will become the first time that one site has been used for 6 hashes in a row in one single week. To know: JHHH, Betawi hash, Pussy hash, BHHH, TGIF and the Horror hash. As from Monday next week, the greenfees on this formerly beautiful golf course will be reduced with 70 %. Strange, because the number of holes has tripled already after the visit of the first bunch of hashers and will reach at least 120 holes after Sunday.
But an even more remarkable record was the already fourth appearance during this 2000/2001 hash year of Holy Joop, our beloved scribe. Rumours had spread already before, that this witty member – the perpetual life of the circle – would make an effort to come, resulting in a record attendance of 35 runners (30 more than usual).
Even Inspector Gadget decided to come, although he had no time to run, he still came only to be able to stand face-to-face with this legend. As soon he arrived he was looking for Holy (as he is affectionally called) and when he saw him, he jumped up and down and exclaimed in pure delight: “the scribe of the century. Woow, I have now seen him in person, what an evening. Where is hash-flash when you need him, make a picture so I can show the people back home.” Later he would assist Holy in recalling the announcement of Tarzan (see under announcements) as Holy’s memory only goes back about 8 seconds (still more than the 7 seconds of a goldfish).
In for another record??? This was the first time, that there was no f#*&cking Anker Piss. After our last city run (30th year anniversary) the sight of about 50 elder Hashers, still being able to run, dressed in Anker shirts, give the locals the impression that Anker was a kind of health elixer. There was a rush on the shops and all Anker has been sold out since. It is now only available on the black market for over Rp. 100,000 per can. Strange enough Anker did not seem to be too happy with our promotion, because they did not like the special Anker shirts printed for this event and did not want to pay for them. This in- spite of the effort of Superbrat to redesign their logo to a more appealing one. The latter obviously worked, but the ungratefull Anker bastards still did not appreciate this. As a replacement we first had suggested Anker to provide us with Bintang, but they were afraid that we might get addicted to the stuff, so the gave us Carlsberg instead. Now I finally understand why our Danish friends are flying aimlessly around the world, as their sense of direction has completely been destroyed by this fluid.
Year-book
B-1-on mentioned that never in the history of the Hash (another record?) so
little money has been generated for year-book advertisements. He said that he
did not doubt his management skills (we do this for him) but he blamed it on
the hash members. HM advised him not to colportage the adds within the hash
circles as this is like doing business with your spouse. But to generate income
from outside!!!!. Makes sense, does not it, our HM sometimes does have a stroke
of genius. Why should 10% of the hashers subsidize the year-books of 90 % of
the others. We either generate “outside money”, charge for the book or only
issue the book every 5 years. If we simply change the cover we even could use
last years book again and again, and nobody will notice.
The Run
Let us describe the run in detail:
“…..”
You see, very short indeed.
The Circle
Clark Cunt explained why he is always smiling and in a good mood. His
tailor designed a special pair of special running shorts, which has room to
hide an unmentionable of Asian proportions. So he always caries one with him,
which girl is located at the right spot doing the right thing, putting Clark in
his perpetual high spirits.
The circle was dominated by the upcoming last Mismanagement meeting of April 17. The only important one, as there the big decisions concerning next years committee will be made. Superbrat was walking around like an American presidential candidate, shaking hands with everybody and being his unusual friendly not himself (how long can he keep this up?). He even was distributing Rp. 50,000 notes to all hashers. But I herewith strongly pre-warn the committee members not to fall into this false charming-offensive, because as soon as he is elected, the real Superbrat (what is in the name) will emerge. The ice factory is already working overtime.
We also will select the candidate for the coveted “Jeremy Pidgeon” award. The contest is on between Bolt-1-on and Colonel Bloodknock, a very tight race, in which Bloodknock seems to be only 2 rounds ahead with still one round to go. What a tension, who will win? Even B-1-on could suddenly emerge as the “dark horse” contender for the HM-position. If we look back to the year he was in charge, listed in the annals of hash history as “Anus Horriblus” he should not stand any chance. But hashers are known for their short memory span and even long time hashers kept introducing themselves to this long-time fart, thinking he is a new member. This has been cleverly orchestrated by B-1-on, as he hardly showed himself during the last 12 months, hoping that people would forget him.
But according to info from your scribe, B-1-on is secretly working behind the screens. Last weekend he was seen camping on top of a volcano with our HM. He had paid off the guides not to bring the tent of our HM, so Herpes was obliged to sleep in the same tent as B-1-on. There were sub-zero temperatures on this summit. A real summit meeting, ha, ha (funny remark by the Scribe-of-the–century). Poor Herpes had to sleep in the same sleeping bag as B-1-on and his sexcretary “Los-Minos”, which or who (I forgot if he meant the sleeping bag, the sexcretary or both) according to Herpes was all slippery and wet. A devious ploy by B-1-on to meet Herpes under 6 eyes. Rumors say that Los-Minos also had to perform certain KKN-acts, so B-1-on could reach his devilish goal.
Besides this the scribe of the year will be elected, however this is a foregone conclusion. Of course the scribe of last century will also become the scribe of the 200/2001 hash-year and some even suggest that he should be elected as the scribe of the 21-century, as who ever could surpass him. Still this humble man, kept a low profile in the circle and did nothing to promote himself, real quality does not need fancy wrapping. There even was a mounting call in the circle for “Holy Joop as HM”. If he would only accept the challenge, he would gather all the votes. But this modest man might step back to give other – less privileged members – a chance. But who knows, the tension rises, anybody can become the next HM, Superbrat seems to be heavily injured (is he still capable to run?). Tension, tension, tension, never had the race been so uncertain.
But we have to wait until after the April 17 meeting. Who know, there might be a special sheet with all the results of this meeting, who knows there might also not be such an announcement.
Is this all that happened? No, the circle was not even finished, when Holy Joop decided to leave a tat earlier to prepare for his acceptance speeches, of the scribe-of the-century award, the appointment as next years HM and him being awarded the Jeremy Pidgeon award.
On, on, on
Holy Joop
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