Jakarta Hash House Harriers
Scribe
Sheet Run 1694
HASHSHIT HOLDERS: BraveFart and Vatican Rag (run 1692)
Run: 1694 Date: May 7, 2001 Runners: 33
Hares: Angy, Wittless supervised by B-1-on and Andy
The Election Run
An early run, starting at 16.30 from
Pondok Cabe. Only a select 33 runners showed up, whilst the other regulars were
doing the jungle run. Most probably running for their lives chased by head
hunters.
During the run I felt sorry for the hares, because only 2 weeks earlier the mismanagement committee had their last meeting during which – among others – the “run-of-the-year” was chosen. Would this week’s run have been held only a few weeks earlier, it would have been voted “the run of the year”. New virging territory, very well usage of the area, good checks (Vatican Rag mentioned a very high VR rating, meaning that the checks were cleverly laid). Can this run still be a candidate for the next hash-year? But even if it can, hash memories are noticeable short, so by the time of the next year’s last MM meeting it will sadly be forgotten. But still an excellent run, most probably because at the last moment B-1-on and his mate Andy volunteered to join the hares as “supervisors”.
Hashers normally don’t get very old, so what is the secret behind the fact that most JHHH members are at least 60 years old? Last Monday this secret was revealed: They have an address where one can get replacement body parts. The run did lead us through the body-part factory, there was only one mystery, they did not produce private parts. This is a big mistake of this factory, because what is the use of getting old and replacing all other parts, when at the end you are still sitting with the same old dick, which might start to loose its function. Several Hashers tried to buy a cunt, which made sense, because why should one feed a complete body, whilst the only useful part is the pussy.
The Circle
Holy Joop, announced again the
“Nijmeegse Vierdaagse”, which is the single biggest walking event in the world
attracting over 120,000 people from all over the world, for a 4-day walk. He
mentioned that he would organize participation of the Hash if at least 15
people would join. The interest so far has been overwhelming, there are only a
few places left. Ron Strachan was the first to announce his participation, so
we now only need 14 people more. This proves again, that if Holy Joop organizes
something, it always is a great success.
The hares sang their songs, but the attention was low, this because all minds were focused on the election procedures, which were about to start. Who would become our new hash master, and what about the other functions in the Mismanagement Committee. Functions, desperately sought after by all members. Because once elected, one’s social status would shoot up like a star. Head hunters (not the ones in the jungle) will be knocking on your door offering topjobs on a weekly bases.
The Election
Of course it could only be Vatican Rag
who was leading the election process. Before the run his popularity seemed
sky-high. Wannabe committee members were lining up to kiss his ass and to slip
banknotes in his pockets. Bolt-1-on even had gone so far to throw a party the
weekend before, where of course Vatican Rag, present and past hashmasters
(Herpes and Gadget), Holy Joop, Pitstop and other highly influential members of
the Hash were present. When at the end of the evening everybody was pissed,
herb made himself candidate hash master and asked his guests to support him.
The reaction of these prominent hashers was hilarious laughter. “Ha, ha, ha”,
laughed Herpes with tears in his eyes, “ha, ha, we tried this once and we might
be hashers, but we are not crazy. Bolt-1-on for HM, what a joke, you HM, never
ever, but you can pour us some more of your expensive wine”. B-1-on started to cry and threatened to join
Tarzan’s Betawi hash. After this threat he was immediately handed the phone
number of Tarzan.
But back to the circle, the tension in the circle increased,
when V.R. this Big Man (literally and figural) entered the circle. He mentioned
that we would first fill the job of Hash Master and after this the other
functions in descending order of importance. Than he continued with the
shocking announcement, that Superbrat would become our next year’s Hashmaster.
Only one candidate? Is this democracy? And even if there would be only
candidate, why was not the circle asked for approval? And why was this
Superbrat (what a fitting name) not even present? Will he continue the “not
present” trend of our present HM?
Questions, questions, questions. The circle became unruly, Herpes took up his
handphone to call for riot police. Yoshi was asked to unleash his dog.
“Ordnung, im circle” shouted Herpes, suddenly forgetting to disguise his arien roots. “Continue” he ordered Vatican Rag, “Next position, in sequence of importance”. That of course was the function of Head-scribe. Now the circle shouted: “this can only be one person, we don’t even want to consider anybody else”. The situation became tense, a short intermezzo (private party) between Herpes and V.R. followed and they obvious decided to listen this time to the circle, as they were afraid, that the situation could run out of control. “Who do you want” said Herpes. Now the circle started to laugh loudly, what a stupid question, the choice was obvious, who else than Holy Joop. The life of so many circles, with his witty remarks and quick jokes and with his razor sharp analyses of each run and circle in his sheets. Signed sheets are fetching a fortune on the black market. But where was this genius? Nobody knew, until somebody told that he had pissed off immediately after the run. Confusion all around, would he accept to do it again? Vatican Rag broke the impasse and mentioned, that we have to go down in hierarchy. He said that if we cannot decide on the election head scribe, to continue with the rest of the functions would be futile. V.R. emptied his glass and left, there was nothing he could do anymore. While leaving he said: “We’ll do this next week”.
Desillusioned the remaining hashers started to drown their misery in Anker, and when everybody was pissed and in a slightly better spirit, 90% went to the On-On, where an excellent meal of Nasi Putih, the famous Indonesian dish, was waiting for them.
On, on, on Holy Joop
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