Jakarta Hash House Harriers
Scribe
Sheet Run 1701
RUN NO.1701 18 June 2001
Farewell to The Rope and
Cheeseballs
Also the return of the
Creature from the Black Lagoon
Members: 31 New members: 14 (will we have to establish a waiting list?) Total: 45
Hare: The Rope Co-hares: Peter Atkinson, Paul Robinson
Sponsors: Bridon - fine colonial hats, perfect for recceing
THE RUN There is not much running country in the vicinity of The Rope’s factory. What little there is was generally avoided and we were ‘treated’ again to some pretty miserable road running accompanied by an assortment of smells. This year’s run was livened up however by a couple of railway (railroad for Yanks) crossings. The Rope did warn us about them before the run; what he didn’t say was that the trains on this line were fast trains to Surabaya, unlike the usual room-for-standing-on-top-only trains we are used to dodging in the Country Woods area (where Witless got struck by a Jakarta to Merak train in 1995 and Tom Jones was awarded run-of–the-year as a result). Consequently a bunch of us who lost paper and returned via a long road had to put an extra spurt on when
we realized the Argo Bromo was not going to stop for us at a railway crossing with the gates down.. I never worked out what the crossing keeper and all the locals were shouting at us but I don’t think it was ‘on-on’ or ‘hello Mister’.
Having lost paper (I blame Mudguard and Angie who are always looking for short cuts) we also missed what was probably the high point in the run, and that was a romp through the whorehouse complex. How did it get there? Well, we learned from the Rope that he actually first ran on Jakarta Hash in the 1970’s when he was sent out here as part of the British government’s aid programme (program for Yanks) to developing countries. Having assessed that there were many unemployed females in Jakarta he recommended and was given the task of developing a major whorehouse complex to keep them off the streets. He had failed to do a proper feasibility study however and it soon became evident that there were no customers because nobody wanted to live in that particular area – for reasons that were evident to us on the run. Consequently he decided they had to attract large numbers of workers there and so they built a factory alongside the whorehouses.
Originally the factory made condoms, but as Aids had not yet arrived sales were disappointing. Then came the Highland Gathering and the days when Jakarta Hash had real men who played rugby and entered the tug-of-war competition each year. (Now, pathetically, all you hear about in the circle and in a certain other scribe’s hash sheet is f****** golf. In a few years’ time we’ll probably be struggling to put out a tiddlywinks team.) Anyway, to get back to the story, our tug-of-war teams were so competitive that each year we would break the rope. Hence a market developed for ropes and the factory switched its production to the same.
Having said this was a road run, one amongst us found a bit of countryside and decided he wanted to get really close to it. Yes, Sheepskin, still bearing the mental scars from his year as Hash Master, found a sawah, promptly tripped into it and was covered from head to toe in filthy black slime. Many local people were terrified as he made his way back to the run site. Stories about the Creature from the Black Lagoon are now circulating in the area. Pictures were taken but unfortunately have not appeared yet. I understand the Hash Yearbook (last year’s) is going to be delayed another three months in order to include the pictures when they come out.
THE CIRCLE Stand-in HM Magic Dragon called the circle to order in his usual inimitable friendly style (‘The circle has started - in case you didn’t notice, you stupid ff****** k***s.’)
Returners and new members were duly recognized or ignored. The Betawi Hash committee meeting (they always hold weekly meetings about five metres from our circle) was interrupted so their members could have a down-down. This is the only beer they drink; this is why our run fees have not increased.
Klarkunt marked his first week as duty MM by giving us some fine renderings of golden oldies including ‘Ou est le papier?, which was quite appropriate to the run. The Creature from the Black Lagoon, no longer recognizable, having popped into one of the adjacent establishments for a quick cream bath and shower, entertained us with Muff Divers in the Sky. RA Bravefart meted out punishment and honours in his usual style.
Tonight was also to see the departure of Cheeseballs, last year’s almost invisible RA. He made up some lost ground by awarding down-downs to all those who brought back happy or bad memories of his hashing days with JHHH. We are going to miss the long drive up to his mountain retreat and the SADISTIC three-hour point-to-points to the Novotel in Bogor that he used to enjoy subjecting us to. He has promised to come back to us in ten years. I bet it’s sooner than that. Could YOU live in Holland for ten years?
Pots on the floor was followed by an unintelligible Korean song from Klarkunt and Gadget before the official hymn. Bridon kindly sponsored the makan for those who stayed.
Once again, farewell Cheeseballs and The Rope. Thanks for your great contributions to Jakarta Hash.
On-on, Col.B.
Click below to go to :
