Jakarta Hash House Harriers
Scribe
Sheet Run 1702
Hashit Holder: Tom Jones
NEXT WEEK’S RUN: NO. 1703. North
American Dependents Day. This marks the day when a bunch of Yankees bought
Alaska from Russia. What is now Canada was given as a gift by the French to
Chief Sitting Bull, who in turn sold it the Yankees for $11.50. As an apology
to the American people, France gave the Statue of Liberty to Russia, who sold
it to USA for $1,000,000. This is the correct History of the North American
continent, as described by Magic Dragon and Clark Khunt on Monday who are both
dependents. The whole thing stinks, and that is why next weeks run is in
Rafflesia, the world-famous plant that smells like shit to attract flies.
Rafflesia, by the way, is on Jl. Alternativ, in Cibubur. Exit Jagorawi at
Cibubur, head down Jl. Alternativ, and Rafflesia is on your right after a few
km. If you don't see it you'll certainly smell it.
Other Announcements:
·
TGIF run on July 14th, to say fuck
off and farewell to BraveFart. Contact BraveFart at tmp@telcom.net
<mailto:tmp@telcom.net> If you don't have email you won't
receive this sheet and won't be reading this announcement anyway.
·
Hares needed for July30th. Contact
Magic Dragon at insanhs@indo.net.id
<mailto:insanhs@indo.net.id>
·
For sale : Statue of liberty. Cheap
la. Contact Magic Dragon at insanhs@indo.net.id
<mailto:insanhs@indo.net.id>
·
Pan Indo Hash September 14th - 16th
in Bali. Contact Tarzan at tz@xxxpornvideos.com
<mailto:tz@xxxpornvideos.com>
·
Bandung Hash 2. Ada undangan untuk
"Picnik Hash Off-Roader Run" dari Bandung Hash house Harriers 2. July
6th - 8th. Contact Lily Holland at (022)2036700. Souvenir Hawaiian shirt and
Topi. Yippeeee.
·
Family run at Rancamaya on July 7th,
Saturday afternoon. Contract Herpes motz@cbn.net.id
<mailto:motz@cbn.net.id> or Bolt-one-On boltong@rad.net.id <mailto:boltong@rad.net.id>
·
Hash Golf. Important announcement. There
will be another Hash Golf outing. Venue and date to be advised.
Run #
1702, Hares : MGM and Rudy, Location : Sentul Selatan Toll Exit.
The run
started out from the building behind the toll booth, across the road leading to
Satelindo, along the ridge around the valley (which was beautiful only two
years ago) out for another loop to the left and home at six O'Clock. Just like
that. Safe, uncomplicated, predictable, no shiggy, no surprises, moderately
enjoyable. Just like having sex with your wife. Remember those valleys that
were beautiful only two years ago?
A few weeks
ago this scribe received an email from Nick Leeson's WIFE (!) complaining about
my hash sheets. "Too Big" she says. Mrs. Leeson, if you are reading
this sheet, please don't read the bit above about having sex with one's wife.
It's not true. Honest.
The Hares
song was memorable. Bullshit managed to sing the entire thing through his arse.
Certainly his lips did not move. If you want to listen to it, click on the
attachment below. The hairs on her Dicky-Di-Doh, as it sounds when sung through
Bulshit's arse.
Some
mexican guy with a huge yardbrush moustache came along scrounging for free beer
and pretending to be Kevin Bloody Desmond. He was given one free beer, which he
consumed through his soup filter facial hair, then he was told to piss off,
whuch he did, quietly. Speaking of quietly, that's how the hares sneaked off
too. By 7:30 the hares were gone, leaving Hash Master and the RA to pour the
piss. Maybe the hares went to prepare the OnOnOn banquet, more of which later.
We also had a visit from a man wearing a blanket (see picture below). It is not
clear whether he is in fact a protester from the Maze prison in Northern Ireland
or the Grand Master of Auschwitz HHH. Tarzan has obviously been selling off his
old achievers shirts to his mates, as one them, Apui, still a newcomer
according to Tom Jones' immaculate records, came in for his visitors down-down
sporting a 10 run shirt.
Tarzan
received an emergency announcement over his secret government radio that the
presidential plane had landed in Darwin en route to Sydney. Apparently the
plane was out of bensin due to a leaky fuel tank. The pilot shat himself when
he heard how much it was going to cost to refill the thing at real world
prices, so he invented some story about a faulty engine, and had RAAF come and
collect the entourage, bensin courtesy of Her Majesty, Queen of England and
foreign parts. The rumour that the president himself was in fact the pilot
(cost saving) is not true.
BraveFart
related a tale about Dr. Jerker asking three Filipina Lovelies to lap-dance for
him (BraveFart) in front of his wife in Oasis restaurant. Most distressing.
Bravefart didn't know whether he was coming or going. I think he wanted to come
and his wife wanted to go. Bravefart got his own back when Dr. Jerker left the
circle for a piss in the corner and got bitten on the bollocks by a spider
waiting to ambush unwary pissers.
MM Clarke Khunt (don't try calling him on the embassy phones - they don't work) sang a song but the only bit I remember is something about gobs of semen hanging from the ceiling. Which is more than Col. Bludclot and At-The-Loo could remember between them when it came to singing "These foolish things". Speaking of foolish things, Tarzan revealed to us that newcomer Peter Atkinson is in fact Akbar Tanjung pretending to be a bespectacled drunkard from Northern England. Mr. Atkinson was a little surprised at having his true identity revealed, and hopes that the whole thing can be kept quiet. 'nuff said.
OnOnOn was
at some place in Jl. Cikini. The Hares representative who was taking a
head-count of attendees asked them to form an orderly queue so that he could
get an accurate count. The total came to approximately zero. Meanwhile, Hash
Master formed his own queue for those who would rather go to Top Gun. This
placed the Hash Master in the uncomfortable position of actually organising an
OnOnOn in competition to the official one, something Hash Master's are not
supposed to do. He needed some way to justify his actions. If only he could
think of a good reason. He thought and thought. And then he thought some more.
And then he spoke. "Cikini's too fucking far".
New Members
: Teddy, Johnny Fong, Banyo, Rustam, Andre Maramis, Roger Webster, Paul
Robinson, Peter "Akbar" Atkinson, Koseden, Apui.
Visitors :
Leo Ozuna Richard "M"
Hats off
and piss on the floor.
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