Jakarta Hash House Harriers
Scribe
Sheet Run 1703
Hashit
Holder: Tom Jones
(The truth can now be told. This unjust decision was the final heinous
crime committed by the previous HM ‘Slobodan’ Herpes, prior to his being
overthrown into ISCI lake at the AGM run. You may wonder why he hasn’t been
seen on the Hash for a number of weeks. Well, justice finally caught up with
him and he was arrested last week and taken to The Hague where he is now being
tried for crimes against the hashing community. Arrogant as ever, when the
judge asked him if he wished him to read the full indictment he replied ‘Get
f….d; I don’t recognize this country.’ The country of course is Holland, and a
lot of people don’t recognize it.)
Run-of-the-year
holders (just in case you forgot):
Konkrete Kok, Leeky Dick and Col.Bloodnock
NEXT
REGULAR RUN: NO.1705, MONDAY 9 JULY:
BASTILLE DAY SPECTACULAR
Hares: Le Coq Beton et Monsieur Tom LeJones
Location: Sentul Selatan, Jasa Marga office, just on
the right after tollbooth. When you drive home, don’t do as I did last time and
go through the same toll gate, only to realize this is the way to Bogor,
necessitating a quick illegal U-turn and explaining to the toll booth operator
on the exit side how come you have a card that says you got on the toll at
Sentul Selatan.
This run
commemorates Monsieur LeFrog Larroque, a great hasher who died in 1993. On-on
will be at La Bastille Restaurant on Arteri, which has been specially featured
by the hares in today (Wednesday)’s Jakarta Post. Don’t be put off by the
quoted price of Rp306,000; the hares will be generously subsidizing any excess
over Rp50,000. Cancel your usual Blok M appointments that night.
SPECIAL
TGIF BRAVEFART FAREWELL RUN: SATURDAY 14 JULY, 4.00pm
University
of Indonesia, Depok Campus. Go south on Tanjung Barat, parallel with railway on
your left. Through Campus gate, turn right and follow signs.
Circle and
on-on at Bravefart’s place, 77J Jl. Warung Jati Timur. (directions later)
RUN NO.1703 2 July 2001
NORTH
AMERICAN INDEPENDENCE DAYS
Hares: Magic Dragon and Clarkunt
Members: 30
New Members: 8 Visitors:
1 Total: 39
THE RUN Confusing checks, and chicken-shit paper scattered to the
four winds gave the impression the hares had no idea which way they were going.
A bit like American foreign policy.
Highlight of
the run was a bridge consisting of a fallen tree. (Did you hear about the
Irishman who said ‘Hey Paddy, there’s an advert here for tree fellers.’ Replied
Paddy: ‘Well that’s no use; there’s only two of us!’) The tree crossing was enjoyed by some, and cursed by others. Tom
Jones had no problem with it; there was no way he was going to fall off into at
least half a metre of water.
Most got in
by nightfall except a few of Tarzan’s Betawi tribe.
THE
CIRCLE Firstly a word about our great leader,
who despite failing eyesight and other disabilities has now visited or flown
over some 50 countries since taking office. I don’t mean Gus Dur; I am
referring to our HM Supabrat. But, don’t worry; it is in keeping with tradition
and is in the interests of promoting our Hash in places like Denver and Nether
Wallop.
In his
absence this week MGM once again took control over the usual unruly mob, and
quickly congratulated Tarzan on his nomination (headlined in the local press)
for the soon vacant position of VP.
The run
discussion was generally complimentary. Even Tom Jones, desperate to lose his
position as Hashit holder, thought it was a good run. Sheeepskin used the
opportunity to express his condolences to his close neighbours on their defeat
last Saturday by the British Lions. To save our Aussie friends from the pain of
watching a repeat performance next Saturday, a run has been organized at
Rancamaya at the time of the match. Declared a good run (at least) by MGM.
Sheepskin
then broke into a new song, which sounded suspiciously foreign when money was
expressed in Baht. It does make song writing in Thailand much easier because
more words rhyme with Baht than Rupiah. I noticed he was hiding a foreign song
book inside a JHHH song book, hoping people would think he was singing one of
our indigenous songs or making it up as he went along. I recognized the name of
a certain hotel in Phuket advertised on the cover. Wives and concubines who may
be reading this sheet illicitly and who know that their loved ones occasionally
stay there when attending business conferences in Phuket can rest assured it is
an up market hotel. It’s so up market in fact that you have to pay by the hour.
Anyway, for some inexplicable reason, by the end of the song there were only
about 12 left in the circle, compared to over 30 at the start of the song.
Konkrete
Kok, wearing a fetching Bruce Lee outfit, was quick off the mark to award a few
down-downs, including one to Pretty Boy whom he nominated as the new Secretary
for Northern Ireland. When asked what his approach to the peace process would
be he said ‘string them all up!’ That was an excellent piece of advice. Pretty
Boy is displaying a much higher level of intelligence since he was struck by
lightning on run no. 1658.
Konkrete
Kok soon fell foul of our acting HM when he challenged him for sponsoring a
rival beer reportedly drunk by Batavia, a local ‘boutique’ hash. MGM would have
nothing of it and a power struggle ensued which was lost by everyone.
Clarkunt
then gave us a political dissertation, which risked reducing the circle further
but redeemed himself with a fine country and western song with a play on words
that would have left most people standing. In fact most people just left so not
many were standing. This was followed by a patriotic rendering by Magic Dragon
of the US national anthem, although the words to this particular version will
ensure that he is unlikely to return there.
Both
however were upstaged by Sheepskin’s rendering of the Andrews Sisters’ classic
‘How much is that doggie in the window?’ Most memorable verse went something
like: ‘I picked up a doggie at the Top Gun’ and ended in ‘I found that this dog had a bone’.
Bravefart
stepped in as supporting RA with a good joke about Quasimodo. It left most of
the circle legless, although Magic Dragon thought it was tasteless. I thought
it was quite (h)armless.
Finally I will leave you with an attached picture that was taken on the night of the Rope’s farewell run. The creature that was caught on camera by stand-in Hash Flash Bravefart apparently caused panic among locals that night. On-on. Col.B.
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