Jakarta Hash House Harriers
Scribe
Sheet Run 1711
RUN NO.1711 – INDEPENDENCE DAY RUN – 20 AUGUST 2001
Regulars: 32, New Members 6, Past Members (Sonny Harsono,
Joe Wendell) 2. Total: 40
Hares: Tarzan Speaking, Jackoff, and
Jungle Fucker
Location: Sentul Selatan
Who tripped
Leeky Dick??
Before we consider this week’s run or even contemplate next week’s run let’s turn our attention to the dastardly event of the previous week when FRB Leeky Dick came a cropper and got put out of action (running action anyway; I understand the other actions are unaffected) for what could be a few months. There are several suspects, each of whom had his own motive for stopping Leeky in his tracks.
Firstly there is our HM Supabrat who as hare on the day had ample opportunity to place trip wires at strategic spots. Supabrat, unlike the hash masters of the golden era who used to use the horn to keep their flock together, or the decrepit hash masters of more recent years who ran behind everyone else, Supabrat likes to run way up front and lose everyone else. (Have YOU heard the horn this year??) He sees Leeky as a threat to his privacy.
The other suspects all relate to the annual Bali Trihashlon. The first of these is Mudguard who has always been deeply resentful of the Welsh team’s glorious (self-proclaimed) victory in 2000.
Next is Soreail, a member of the cheating Scottish team who were declared winners in 2001 by a bent, corrupt and biased Scottish referee, despite having been technically disqualified for having only four in the biking event and at least six in the raft. Anxious that the referee might be replaced next year he would like to see all serious competition eliminated.
Final suspect is Elephant Man who is so desperate to win a place in the 2002 Welsh team that he is prepared to cripple his fellow countrymen. I cannot understand why he is still so bitter about being left out of the 2001 team just because it consisted of two 60 year-olds, an English ‘guest’ (Frogballs), a Norwegian who fell sick the night before and cried off, and a girl who couldn’t run or ride a bike.
All four were seen in the vicinity of the incident. Enquiries are continuing.
And now for something entirely different. A RUN REPORT
Not
sure how much is worth writing since 98% of readers failed to notice that my
last sheet was entirely in French, but here goes:
This
run was laid through one of the last rain forests within 50 km of Jakarta. At
least it was a year ago. This year the trees have all gone, probably to help
build the huge new (empty) estates in the valleys below, all of which will be washed
away anyway when the rains come and wash down the bare slopes.
The first twenty minutes or so consisted of running up the hill on a hard jogging track. It was compensated finally by a glorious view of the distant mountains and beer truck – an automatic technical Hashit by our old standards. Lack of good checks meant that the pack became spread over several kilometers. In fact from 5.45pm onwards, hashers were coming in one at a time at five-minute intervals. Some winding loops and river crossings added interest to the run until the climb back up the hill brought us back to the out-trail, still miles from the finish. A number of arrows with a clear ‘B’ led us to believe we were on another hash’s trail, but we concluded that Tarzan couldn’t spell ‘J’ and dutifully retraced our steps along the jogging track back to the beer truck.
THE CIRCLE
Stand-in HM Magic Dragon convened the circle at which point I enquired whether we should immediately adjourn to a restaurant, as there was a possibility it might rain later. This precedent had been set the previous week when Monday Hash decided it didn’t want to get wet. My cynicism was rewarded with the first down-down.
Joseph was rewarded for helping Leeky get back by ojek the week before (useful tip: always carry some spare cash with you for emergencies such as this or for getting taken short near that little building by the bamboo bridge where those nice ladies wave to you).
The run discussion was mainly critical and more than one mentioned the little matter of the sighting of the beer truck half way through the run. Angie said it was the worst run he’d ever been on, but he says that every week. Vatican Rag complained that the hares told him it was a righty whereas it was a lefty so no one passed him more than once. Herpes was convinced it was a righty anyway and seemed to have had a much better run than the rest of us on the opposite side of the toll road. This should have been a Hashit in view of the beer truck sighting and the miserable out-trail which doubled up as a miserable in-trail but that nice Mr. Dragon decided it was more politically correct to award a ‘good run’.
Thanks to PT Bridon for sponsoring the Independence Day T-shirts. The Rope has not forgotten us.
Herpes was appointed stand-in RA and immediately set about rewarding representatives of the successful teams in the Hungarian Grand Prix. Miss Piggy was rewarded for his team coming fourth in a Kijang (?) and Pretty Boy carried the can for his fellow Irishman who selected reverse gear instead of second and came off the track in the first 50 metres.
Sheepskin then serenaded us with the Ball of Kirriemuir and later with Manana. The latter produced some good contributions, including one from Pretty Boy, which unfortunately had a long gestation period and only came out half way through the next song. The hares sang a very patriotic Indonesian song but regrettably did not appear to know the words – until Herpes put them on ice, which helped to stimulate their memories and other organs.
Sonny sang about his big burung, which inspired Herpes to renew the search in the circle for Tommy. No reward tonight however, although Bambang (Maandi) was spotted as well as a shy and retiring Tutut (Sadist).
On-on was around the corner in Plaza Sentul. No reports of food poisoning as yet.
NEXT WEEK’S RUN: Hare: Yoshi. Ikan Bakar Kalimantan, Cimanggis. For the less than 1% who do not know where that is: Jagorawi toll, exit Cimanggis, go straight to T-junction, turn left and the restaurant is almost immediately on your right.
On-on Col.B.
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