Jakarta Hash House Harriers
Scribe
Sheet Run 1726
RUN
NO.1726 - 3 DECEMBER 2001 – THE ANNUAL NOT-ST.ANDREW’S DAY RUN
Regulars: 29
New members: 2 Past Members:
1 Visitors: 1 Total: 33
Hares: Pretty Boy, Poison, John
Bastard
Location: Up in the hills beyond
Sentul Selatan
Do
you remember in past years how we celebrated every ethnic day run? One of these
was the day the Scots tried to impress on us that they really did have
something worth bragging about under their kilts.
Anyway,
filled with anticipation that we would be treated to a minor version of the
Highland Gathering, I came armed with my brand new St Andrew’s Day T-shirt from
the previous Saturday’s run on the Bali Hash.
On
arrival (despite the lack of visible signs) I expected to be piped in by a
Scottish band accompanied by a group of dancing sexy Scottish lassies.
Instead,
I find the run has been laid by two Irishmen and a Welshman (who must have been
technical adviser to prevent cock-ups that usually occur when the Irish lay a
run).
Yes,
sad to say, the St.Andrew’s Day run is no more on Jakarta Hash. The fact is,
the Scots aren’t prepared to pay the exorbitant hash run fees, which were
increased by 100% in the dark days of the reign of Angie, The Most Hated Man In
Hashing History, way back in 1997. That deed triggered the Asian financial
crisis and led to rioting in the pre-nascent Betawi Hash headquarters the
following year.
Wee
Ronnie might have saved the day, had he stayed over a bit longer after his last
trip. But, having spent most of his savings on the bus fare to get to Jakarta from
Aberdeen he found he only had enough money left for one bonk in Blok M and half
a run. (Or was it one run and half a bonk?) He justified paying only half the
run fee by saying he only did half the run and only got half pissed in the
circle.
Rabeye,
Bravefart or Gay Gordon might also have saved the day but they left town when
their respective companies stopped paying them. Most of the surviving hashers
also had their salaries stopped some years ago, but they are still here. They,
of course, are not Scottish.
THE RUN
Up and down through the pine forest, climbing here, slipping there, checking
here, checking there, - that’s about it. Vatican Rag, who doesn’t like mountain
climbing, made it a short run so only 48 passed him. No-one passed Herpes
because he chose to go and visit the hot springs. The hares thoughtfully
provided a water stop at the top of the mountain, timed almost to the second to
coincide with Tom bin Jones’ arrival at buka puasa time. Not seeing the straws,
I helped myself to a small cup of water but found it impossible to open with my
teeth while running downhill. By the time I’d done so I was already back at the
beer truck, which is where Tarzan preferred to buka his puasa.
THE CIRCLE
The run was considered excellent, which I thought was a bit over the top. Must
have been due to the impact John Bastard had on the effort.
Magic
Dragon was again iced for the slight delay (now just seven months overdue) in
the issue of the Yearbook. As next year’s editor, I decided to join him on the
ice so I could get accustomed to the sensation when next year’s book is late.
This counts as one credit – that is, I have one week OFF the ice next year.
Please note, next year’s Hash Master.
This
wasn’t my only chance to cool down. We had ‘revolving door’ icings for telling
Irish jokes. RA Konkrete Kok’s joke was so bad he put himself on the ice even
before the punch line.
I
thought the following was funny, even if Poison didn’t and Elephant Man didn’t
understand it:
In their younger days, Pretty Boy and Poison often went out on the piss in
Dublin. One night they ran out of money and didn’t fancy walking home so Pretty
Boy suggested they pinch a bus, as they were standing outside a bus depot.
Pretty Boy said ‘you go in there and pinch a bus, while Oi’ll keep a lookout’. Ten minutes later, Poison had still not
emerged with a bus so Pretty Boy popped his head in. ‘What’s keeping you, you
stupid git?’
Replied Poison: ‘It’s no good; Oi can’t find a number 28.’
To which Pretty Boy responded: ‘you daft bugger. No wonder people think we
Oirish are stupid. You could have taken a number 34 and we could get off at the
roundabout!’
Poison didn’t think it was funny. He said everyone knew they lived on the
number 43 bus route at the time.
Now,
ignoring their second song, a version of Cats on the Rooftops, lets give credit
where it’s due. The hares’ main song was a little known Afghan Christmas carol
called ‘The Little Bomber Boy.’ Pretty Boy had trained his backing group well
to do the ‘bomb, bomb’ bits.
It went like this:
‘Go they told me
Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb,
To Afghanistan,
Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb,
Our finest bombs to bring
Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, etc., etc.
As
no haggis was available due to the lack of Scots, the hares kindly supplied the
circle with hot dogs. This made for a very quiet circle.
And
so to hats off and pots on the floor and the gentle drive down the mountainside
with a little redistribution of wealth among the villagers who kindly let us
pass.
Next
week’s run: Annual Japanese Death March
Pearl Harbour Run.
Hares:
KK and co.
Location:
Cimanggis. Exit toll booth, go to T-junction. Turn RIGHT and go a short
distance to parking. This will be a POINT-to-POINT so bring survival kit.
Col.B.
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