Jakarta Hash House Harriers

Scribe Sheet Run 1731

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Run No. 1731   Monday, 7 January 2002
Location: Cinere Cakra housing estate

A true story - with apologies to neither Kenny Rogers nor the original hash songster

I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe
A nondescript run and no diatribe
I’ll write about vice, I’ll try to be nice
But no bastard gave me a bribe
I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe

Logged on to the website, downloaded the hash sheet
Left the office at twenty past four
I told the driver, if you don’t get there
I’ll slam your balls in the door
Got stuck in the traffic on Jl Cinere
In a panic I changed in the car
And now I am hated, the driver’s castrated
I should have stopped and stayed in the bar

         I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe
A nondescript run and no diatribe
I’ll not write about vice, I’ll try to be nice
But no bastard gave me a bribe
I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe

I got the to the Hash site, whole place was empty
I wistfully refused a beer
Saw Boltie and offspring disappear in the distance
Their direction was perfectly clear
I paused for second, making to follow
Witless said “the trail’s over there”
Took off on paper, oh what a caper
The last hound to follow the hare

         I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe
A nondescript run and no diatribe
I’ll not write about vice, I’ll try to be nice
But no bastard gave me a bribe
I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe

Ten minutes later, still on paper
Sadist he ran toward me
He looked in a panic, he said he was checking
I said “The trail’s behind that tree”
He took off at pace, there wasn’t much grace
He was trying to catch the pack
I examined the path, prints in the mud
And left him to do the checkback

I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe
A nondescript run and no diatribe
I’ll not write about vice, I’ll try to be nice
But no bastard gave me a bribe
I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe

Down in the valley, it was quite pretty
The checks I did on my own
Plenty of paper, as the light faded
I made my way towards home
About half an hour later, still on paper
Some footsteps heard from behind
Sadist rushed up, cursing and swearing
I told him that he was blind

      I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe
A nondescript run and no diatribe
I’ll not write about vice, I’ll try to be nice
But no bastard gave me a bribe
I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe

At the Hash circle, a score of people
Discussed the meaning of life
The Rag told us all, we yawned through it all
Then pissed him off home to his wife
The Dragon he went, walked his 7 percent
Never got through the kampung
He was depressed, and not impressed
Thought he could smell cow dung

      I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe
A nondescript run and no diatribe
I’ll not write about vice, I’ll try to be nice
But no bastard gave me a bribe
I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe

Herpes remembered, 12 years he counted
Since he was last at this site
Yoshi replied, he said that he lied
He said t’was no more than eight
He remembered his whore, and then he swore
‘Pon the stars up in heaven
He pointed around, and everyone frowned
‘Cos all of the kids are aged seven

      I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe
A nondescript run and no diatribe
I’ll not write about vice, I’ll try to be nice
But no bastard gave me a bribe
I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe

The HM was desperate, no one was literate
And Jonesy ducked and dived
No competent Joint, no pencil to point
Who else would be the Hash scribe?
HM on his knees, yelling out “please”
To decline I hadn’t the heart
And so what a pity, you suffer this ditty
Oh! was that a bloody great fart

         I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe
A nondescript run and no diatribe
I’ll not write about vice, I’ll try to be nice
But no bastard gave me a bribe
I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe

We had Peter and Paul, and Mary the fairy
Singing astride an Ojek
Till Puff the Dragon, out on the wagon
Laid them all on the deck
Puff was no faggot, he used a carrot
At 57 he’s more than canny
But Dingo Dick, he used his prick
On hordes of extremely young fanny

      I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe
A nondescript run and no diatribe
I’ll not write about vice, I’ll try to be nice
But no bastard gave me a bribe
I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe

The circle got smaller, the RA got taller
As he victimised a sinner
The numbers went down, the hares did frown,
Maybe no one would go for dinner
And with the beer gone, onto the Hash song
The Dragon he ne’er missed a beat
And we were reborn, with the sound of the horn
Where are we going to eat?

      I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe
A nondescript run and no diatribe
I’ll not write about vice, I’ll try to be nice
But no bastard gave me a bribe
I picked a bad week to be the Hash scribe

On On On  at 99’s – good tucker, even if the boiled prawns were off [ed:=not available].  Remember the hares next week as they sponsored food for 14.

Run rating – a credible 6 out of ten.  The musings of YWHMH about a shit of a run were completely misguided.

Returners:  Bolt One On, plus others who I forget
New members:  Paul (for the 27th time)
Visitors: Boltie’s son, and Maple something or other
Achievers: None

 

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