Senshi no Umnei

I just felt like it was time for a new fic. I was busy dumping every file off my hardrive to disk, (Oh, that was FUN.) *sigh* when I decided to give up. Pressed F1, and a fresh document appeared. Okay... what was I doing? I listened to the music in the background. (Senshi no Umnei had just been playing, of course!) So, I started typing. I had no idea what I was typing. I had no idea what the story would be about; but this is what I came up with. (Actually, I had wanted Haruka and Michiru to go to the Falls for a long time... it was a most opportune moment to incorporate it!) And, B.T.W, I am Canadian. I took advantage of the change of scenery for Michiru to clear up some common stereotypes/ misconceptions about us, up here in the great-not-so-white North...

Comments are ALWAYS welcome... looking for a way to make somebody's day? This is a very, very good way! Comments! Any! Please? (Meep.)

I want to thank those who have commented again... you know who you are... ^_^

tomoechan@hotmail.com

All rights to Sailor Moon and all associated characters thereof belong to Naoko Takeuchi, Toei Animation and Kodansha Comics.

(To my knowledge.)

Senshi no Umnei

I am the soldier of Fate, Sailor Neptune.

I am the woman, Kaiou Michiru.

I am the lover of Tenou Haruka.

All these things, I am. Watashi no umnei-my destiny.

"I just want to play violin!" I had shouted.

What would it be like, if I could change destiny? If I was no longer led by it, controlled by it?

Free to make my own life?

So softly, the ocean waves roll, whispering to me, secrets that I have no idea what mean, but I hear them, just the same. Then it's the same. Destiny, they will whisper. Destiny. It is your destiny. That gentle whisper. I cry out, pick up a stone and hurl it, as far as I can. It breaks that water, splashing it into thousands of droplets, the whispers stopped, although only for a moment. I sit back down, and feel like crying, but no tears come. It's not that I don't like who I am, what I've become. Especially... especially when I met Haruka.

She had just finished the race, and was drying the sweat off her brow. She looked so strong, so brave, like she should have armor and a sword. I drew a breath in as I watched her, every move, as if I could just freeze it in my memory, and hold it there, for all eternity. Of course, it was not to be, as Elza Grey had begun to tug at my hand.

"Come on, Kaiou-san. I have someone I think you'd like to meet," I smiled gently, and walked with her, turning my head for a second to see Haruka's profile dissapearing as she left my line of sight.

To my suprise, it had been Haruka she had taken me to. I began to blush. It was her, her.... I was near here, able to talk to her...

"Good morning, Tenou-san. I am Kaiou Michiru."

My angel of the wind. I see here clearly, out on the night sky. As a senshi, her gold earring in one ear, her white hair shining as it is outlined by the starlight itself. Her eyes were silver, the darkness of the stormy clouds, her hair those that bore the promise of sunshine and the rainbow. Oh, I loved her. I loved this world. But I wanted so much to have led my own life. Was it so strange, that wish? To have control of my destiny.

"Michiru," a voice whispered. She sat down next to me.

"Ara, Haruka. What are you doing up so late?"

"I knew you couldn't sleep." The cold air caused her to shiver, but instead of hugging herself for warmth, she drew me close, and her fingers interlaced with my own. She knelt to my neck and kissed me gently.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Of course." I leaned back, resting against her chest. "Haruka, you don't regret, do you?" she let out a small laugh, almost a chuckle.

"Michiru, I can't regret. If I did... I don't know if I'd still be here, if not for you."

"If you could have one wish, what would it be?" I asked, turning towards her face, so close to my own.

"To be with you forever." She kissed me, a slow, soft kiss, as if she were a summers breeze, coming down for a moment to rest by me. "But that's not what you want to know, is it?" she asked. She understood me.

"Haruka, I just sometimes wonder.... what would it have been like, if we weren't senshi? If we had been left to live our own lives, our own destinies?"

"Oh? I'd be a famous racer, and you'd be known as the finest musician in the world."

"Haruka," I said, a small sharpness to let her know that I wasn't in the mood for teasing. She sighed.

"Why, Michiru? I can't look back. Not anymore. If we regret, we can never accomplish our mission."

"What mission do we have now?"

"To live. As we must; as we are." I cried, and held her hand all the tighter. What would it have been like?

***

I sat at my sketchbook, erasing furiously. I had spent so much time on this... expleteives flashed through my mind. I was sorely tempted to fling the infernal thing to the floor, and simply run away. When I regained my composure, I looked at it again. It was an angel, from the skies. I touched her face gently. I couldn't remeber something about her; this person. It was like some sort of backdrop; I knew it was there, but I could never see it. I sighed. Why so much time on this obsession? My mother called me down for dinner. I sighed again, pulling my body gracefully off the bed, letting my white dress trail. I had a violin performance later; I had better eat now or I'd be hungry.

The candlelight gave the whole room an unearthly feeling. I felt as if there were a stone in my chest, (Perhaps it was only my heart,) weighing down on me, a pain which would not lift.

"Michiru? Is everything alright?"

"Of course it is, mother." She looked nervously at me, and turned to sit. I looked down at my knife and fork; elegant pieces of silverware far too expensive for any sane person's eating habits. Still, I picked them up and ate.

"The recital is tonight," she said. It seemed as if she were merely stating a fact, but I could tell she wanted more out of it than just that.

"It is," I said, hoping that I was helping her along. We ate in silence. In a few minutes, I was done.

"Here," she said. She had stood up, and had gotten a black velvet jewelery box.

"What's that?" I asked, curious despite myself.

"Something I wore when I was younger. I want you to have it, Michiru." she pulled a silver hair clasp out. It was set with a pearl shaped turqoise, with a smaller turqoise at the top, bottom, and sides.

"Ara.... it's beautiful...such a gift, for me..." she smiled lovingly, and I closed my eyes and bent my neck down as she pulled my hair up. It was these moments that made me feel so close to her.

"There," she said when it was done. She handed me a small mirror to look at myself in. It held my hair up so perfectly, making my face look so small... I hugged her.

"Thank you, Mom..." It meant a lot to me. We were both slow to emotion, but I loved her.

"We had better get going, then."

"We? Are you coming too?"

"Of course."

***

The recital had gone so well, until I had missed a string. The screech that ensued caused the whole audiance to cringe. It wasn't my fault! On the rafters, it was if I had seen the ghost of another... I cringed myself but kept playing, yet unable to keep my usual concentration. More notes were missed, a few sharps turned into a flat... I was ready to start crying on stage. It was just lately... lately, nothing had felt right. Even this recital. When it was over, the claps were scarce. I ran outside, tears falling from my eyes. My mother got up and ran after me, ignoring other people's complaints as the next musician began.

"Michiru!"

"Mom... I couldn't do it... I can't! I can't do this anymore!" I was screaming, but I didn't know why.

"Do what?"

"This!" I shouted, I was pulling at my hair, crying, "I don't know! But Tokyo isn't for me anymore! At school, everything's changed... I can't concentrate! And my dreams are haunted by ghosts! I want to leave! TO LEAVE!" I shouted, my arms finally falling in defeat. She moved to hug me, but I pushed her away. "Mother, I have to go. Somewhere. This pain has been building; with nightmares and wars I don't know... I have to leave Tokyo; it is part of the nightmares. I'll go. To Canada." My mother, quite astounded, said nothing.

***

Why did I choose Canada? I have no clue. I could have chosen England. Europe. France. China. Zimbabwe, even! But Canada! Out of the blue. Maybe I just wanted the freezing cold, ice storms... I wondered if I would see some igloos. Most likely log cabins, I thought to myself.

***

I packed my bags. It didn't take long. I even ordered myself a one way trip airfare. (Yes, I had my own credit card.) Tomorrow, I would leave for the artic wasteland of Canada. I would wander that land, until I saw it fit to return.

***

The plane was preparing to land. I clutched at my seat, ready for the worst landing. Waiting for the storms, the ice, the bitter cold. (I had packed myself a beautiful fur coat, just for the occasion!) The plane landed. I stepped out. My first thought was immediate;

Where was all the snow?

***

I looked around.

"Excuse me," I said to the lady at the reception desk,

"Yes?"

"This is Canada?" I said, in fairly good English.

"Yes. Can I help you with something?"

"Uh, hai... where is the snow?" The lady looked ready to kill me for some reason.

"Snow? In May?!" The woman stiffled a laugh, and I blushed.

"I'm sorry. Where are you from?"

"Japan."

"Right. Well, if you're looking for snow in the middle of May, you're going to have to go to the Artic... most Canadians live within 600 km of the border. Meaning..."

"Not much snow?"

"Not a this time of the year, anyways."

"Oh." I blushed. I had only been to England, South Africa, and France before. The woman laughed again, but this time more kindly.

"I'm sorry. Don't worry about it; it's a common stereotype. Look, if I could help you with anything..." her eyes looked at me strangely,

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked.

"It's just... have I seen you before?"

"Me?"

"That's it... You're Michiru Kaiou! The violinist!" I smiled, althouhg inwardly I was cringing at her mispronounciation of my name, not to mention the order in which she said it. I suppose we were even now.

"Yes, I am... you've heard of me?"

"Yeah. I'm fond of classical music."

"I was expecting snow... now I'm not sure where to go."

"No travel plans?" The black haired attendant asked me.

"I can afford any plans, I just don't know where to go..." I swore silently to myself for not making more arrangements. Baka! Baka!

"If you're looking for somewhere interesting to go in Canada... do you like anything in particular? Mountains? Forests?"

"Oceans."

"Well, we reach three of those... but maybe..."

"Maybe?" I asked.

"If you go to that bus station," she said, pointing in a direction behind me. I turned and acknowledged it, "You can take a bus to the Falls." My English was still rusty.

"Why would I want to fall?"

"No, not Fall... the Falls. Niagara Falls. The most beautiful water in the world, if you ask me." she winked. I nodded.

"Thank you." I left a small handful of coins on the desk and left. (Later I discovered that these weren't extreamly small currencies, but "Twoonies," (What a strange name? Why not something simple, like a yen?) a good handful of them... over fifty Canadian dollars. I wasn't really worried about it... I guess it just explained the woman's strange look as I walked away.)

***

Buses. How I loathed buses! Tightly packed people, all with a similar destination, for totally different purposes... I think the bus made me nauseous. It was a good two hours before I reached the Falls... one of the great wonders of the world. I played with the idea that subconciously that this was what had drawn me here, this strange country. (I wasn't as dissapointed as I was before about the snow; there was a strange energy running through me now.) A tingling sensation, as if I were getting close to some electrical outlet. I could feel power, an energy. It made me anxious, and it seemed that the closer I got to the Falls, the more it grew.

***

How do you put to words what is meant only to be held up by wonder itself? The majesty of pummeling blue water, crystal clear, as it falls towards a sea of dark, sea green water? As great spouts of mists rise up and deliciously chill the air, leaving just a few goosebumps? Every breath was chilly and fufilled, as if... I don't know. But it was new, it was wonderful. It wasn't the ocean, and yet, it was more.... the white clouds above the light blue sky. And the sound! The sound! To hear it, the roar, that unstoppable roar, as it tumbles down and down and down...

I had fallen in love with this land. A green fenced, with beautiful iron working, turning it into knotted leaves was all that seperated me from this raw force of nature. It was power. I can't describe it; but the sensation of being near this water was so uplifting I had thought I may faint from the burst of energy rising in me. Every breath I took was saturated with the sound, the smell, the moisture, the pure sensation of that falling water. I was in escatsy. I had just gotten to the Falls, and was so entranced by the sound of them that I sat on a bench and closed my eyes. I didn't need to see them; I knew they were there. The sound, the strange sensation left in the air gave truth to my thoughts, and the tingling sensation did not go away. I sat there, still as if an icy death had fallen upon me, for the rest of the day, although it was only the feeling of sheer escatsy.

***

When I did move, I became aware that it was night. Dark, black night. But the water... what had happened to it? Rainbow lights, causing it to glow unearthly. Oh, I saw now... man-made lights, changing the colour of the water so that people may see them even in the darkness. Above me hung a silver Moon, and the playful stars, wishing me peace and happiness.

***

I stayed at a hotel that night; had given my name and a substantial amount of cost to ensure one of the finest rooms that were available. I left my window wide open; I cared only for the sound of those falls, the feeling it gave me. I slept like that, the white lace curtains blowing against my face now and then, waking me for only a second before I fell back into my peaceful slumber.

***

I awoke before dawn. How much before, I could not say; only that the red hues that came with it had not yet appeared. I was filled with the same sort of energy, although I was aware that my room was freezing. I put on an off-white chenille sweater and took out my violin, preparing to pull the bow, ever so softly, against the strings. As if I could play the music of these falls, make it sound like I was with them, in soul as much as heart. I stopped myself before the bow touched; of course other people were in the building with me. I stood up, making sure that I was warm enough, and left.

***

I pulled the bow across. I was standing at the fence to the falls, lookng out at them. My music fell in gentle strains on the wind, and I felt as if they were a prayer. Silly. Ara, I told myself. It isn't so silly. I was praying; I was praying for this to be forever. I kept playing, closing my eyes so that I could hear the water's music again. Then, it began; the water's symphony.

It was a slow tune. I don't think it came from the water, or I made it up, but that my hands were guided as I played it. It had no words that I knew, but I could hum to the melody, although I had never played it before. Something told me to open my eyes, and I did... to see Dawn. Beautiful hues fell across the water, reflecting off with warm light. Bright sunfire, guiding the light. It warmed me, as it touched me, my sweater, my hair, my eyes, a warm wave of light and heart. I could feel the dawn, as acutely as the water must have felt it. Above me, the dark blue sky began to give way to that fire, letting the song of life push it away, to some forgotten dream. Oh, I longed for this song! Let me play it! I could, my hands were guided. I played and played and played until Dawn was over... it was day. A shadow fell by me, and I froze, stopping my music.

"Please," said the voice quietly, "Continue." I turned. Beside me, was a woman... she was so tall, my first thought was. Her hair! White, like the snow. And her eyes were gazing perfectly into my own, dark grey, like a storm.

"G... gomen," I said. Why, I do not know. I just felt like I had disturbed her. Then it hit me, as she gently turned her head... it was the angel in my sketchbook! As if the wind would wisk her away at any moment. (Silly, you'd only met her a minute ago...)

"Hun? why are you apologizing?" she asked me in Japanese.

"You speak Japanese?" she nodded, then switched to English.

"Would you keep playing?" My back stiffened at the idea. I felt.. somewhat nervous. I wanted to ask her for how long she had listened, but I didn't, instead, I turned back to the water nad let the sorrowful strains of my violin begin again, the music filling me. It was then that I noticed something about the falls I had not before. Beyond them, there was a lake. But from where I stood, the lake seemed flat, (Because we were on the same level,) so... the water met the sky. Perfectly. It was as if they melded into one another... so beautiful...

***

I stopped. By now, it was almost midday, and the crowds had gathered. I noticed that they were watching me. Blushing, I lowered my bow. They clapped. Clapped and clapped, as if they had never heard anything so beautiful. I was... better. It was as if my last failure, under the pressures of life, a music class, was gone, replaced with a song made of my soul's own song. I blushed and turned. I had never looked back. I would never see again, I realised. She was gone, and I hadn't even learnt her name... I looked at the sky and the sea. (Not the sea, really, but I couldn't help but think of it that way.) Gone, I had come, I found what I was looking for, and I had let it slip through my fingers.

"Beautiful," a voice said. I turned to see her sitting on the bench! The bench!

"How long have you been there?!" I excalimed. She looked at a elegant silver watch.

"Since about six thirty in the morning," she yawned, "I had come out for a morning run, but your music was so beautiful... I couldn't leave. Even though I had planned to go back to bed," she winked. I was awestruck. She stood, and extended her hand.

"I am Tenou Haruka."

"Kaiou Michiru." We both smiled.

"By the way, I haven't eaten... Would you like to join me for breakfast?"

***

We went to a small restaurant, and ordered a buffet. Haruka insisted she pay. I swear, I felt like I was in a dream. She was so beautiful...

"Michiru?" she said.

"Gomen, I was just thinking, how strange it is, meeting someone like you here..."

"I like it here. Don't you?"

"Yes. I love it, the sky and the water.... it's a magic unique unto itself, I think." she smiled. The waiter brought us our drinks and pancakes. I eyed it strangely. (I found that some foods just struck me as perculiar right off. I think it was the strawberries on top.) By the time we had finished eating, I had learnt that Haruka was a famous car racer in Japan. I knew I had heard her name before. Of course, everyone back home thought Haruka was a guy.

"Michiru?"

"Hm?"

"Why did you come here?"

"To get away... I had been having strange dreams.... of someone that looked like you, actually..." she laughed. "Why are you laughing?"

"It's just, well, I've had some dreams too, of late. But I doubt that anyone swims in the ocean wearing n..." she blushed. "Never mind."

"You've had dreams about me?" Blushed again. I couldn't help but supress a giggle.

"Sort of, you could say that..." I touched her hand.

"Haruka?"

"Hm?"

"I'm glad I've met you."

"Me, too."

***

Haruka took me out to dinner that night. We left after breakfast, (Brunch, really,) for our own homes. Haruka had bought a mansion just outside of the town, (Apparently she was at least as well off as I,) and would be staying there for an undetermined about of time. I looked in my suitcase to find something to wear the moment I arrived back at the hotel. What to wear... I pulled out an aqua green dress, a fairly tight-fitting one, and decided that I would most definately wear that. So I bathed and did my nails and lipstick for the rest of the afternoon, hardly believing that the woman in my dreams was real and alive.

***

She was resplendant. She came to pick me up, driving a black cadillac, of all things. Haruka even got out of the car to open the door for me. I was still in disbelief about all of this.

"I'm glad you agreed to come," she said.

"I couldn't possibly refuse, now, could I?" she blushed.

"You look, uh..." I blushed, "Well, beautiful."

"You're pretty handsome yourself." We both laughed at the impossibility of all of this. I got in, and we drove to her house.

It was a mansion. White walls, and a huge window in the front, seperated into panes by large white pillars. A long driveway, and green bushes. Old oak trees and weeping willows. It was all so beautiful... like a dream. She helped me out of the car, and she led the way into her house.

***

Dinner was by candlelight, rice and some succulant meats, with croissants. (I've always liked croissants. Especially with a bit of butter.) Haruka and I talked a bit, but we both seemed too shy to say anything.

"How long till you leave, Michiru?" she finally asked me, almost sadly.

"Not until I choose to," I answered, smiling. My smile seemed to lift some sadness of her, just as hers did mine. I noticed that she was done her meal, she put her fork down and took my hand.

"Would you care to dance?" she asked.

"I would."

***

She led me into a ballroom. (Yes, a ballroom! Not an immense one, but you know a ballroom when you see one.) And, near the beautiful bay windows, was a piano. Sittin on the bench was a violin case, which I recognized immediately.

"May I have the honour?" she asked. I almost giggled again, but blushed instead, and picked up the instrument. She sat down at the piano.

"Do you play?" I asked.

"Like an angel," she winked. (Oh, I was red. I must have been red.) We began playing. Haruka was an incredible piano player. Her fingers glided smoothly and effortlessly over the ivory keys, picking the notes that she made sound of. I listened to her song for a minute, then began pulling the bow over the strings, letting a slower tone join her own. I closed my eyes as I played, closed them, and shut out the scene, magnificent though it was, and just listened to the music. For you see, music is the soul, and I had never heard one as beautiful as Haruka's. I flowed into the music, and let it take me away... I cannot say how long it had been when Haruka finally stopped. Minutes, at least. She was just watching me, I realised, when I finally opened my eyes. I blushed. The song "A Time For Us," began playing, (Love Theme from Romeo and Juliet,) on some speakers she had hidden somewhere. She took my hand and danced with me, and danced, and danced... the moon had already risen when I, tiredm laid my head on her strong chest. We slowe dour dance, and finally ended in an embrace, and I knew that for the first time in my life, I had fallen in love.

***

I didn't want to go home, I thought, when I reached the hotel the next morning. (I had fallen asleep in Haruka's arms watching a movie! It was rather disorienting, waking up like that in the morning...) I wanted to stay here forever, with her. Forever and ever and ever...

***

That night, I met with her again. We sat on a bench by the Falls, and just stared at the stars, all night. I pointed to one.

"Make a wish."

"Um. What do you want, Michiru?"

"What do you mean."

"You said you came here to get away from the past; to get away from your normal life. But all that's jsut getting away, leaving something you already had. What do you really want?" I looked at the stars, but then found my gaze drifting down to her eyes.

"To share a destiny with you."

"Is that so?" We kissed, and it was then that I knew we would always be together. And still...

***

Epilouge

***

"That's always been our mission, Michiru. To save the world. To live as we are. I don't know who decided it or why; it's just the way life is. What is freedom is what we choose to do with it." I kissed her.

"Haruka, you know..."

"Hm?"

"I think the people who choose this destiny, who choose how we would live this adventure, in some way..."

"Yes?"

"Must have been us." I drew myself closer to her and we kissed, and my pain was gone, I would always live as I am, and nothing, time nor space, would change that.

Because we were destined to be...

Senshi.