Jakarta Hash House Harriers

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Batavia .Saturday 4 September 3pm. Pluit Hotel Old City ( shitty?) Run thru various environmentally challenged kampongs. Hare MGM. Update all your jabs first.

SCRIBE’S REPORT-The Run

The Aussie Hares were obviously homesick- for dry dusty cuntry. Clearly missing the outback and such world heritage sights as Uluru (Ayer’s Rock to the non-Aussies – to be seen but definitely not climbed). Well the run got off to a timely start minutes after the hares came in looking very muddy ( an omen of what was to come for the non shortcutters). A predictable check ( as GO BLOK M stated later) over the bridge. Then on into more and more and more tanah merah. Then for a change on into the mud at the river. Ever had that sinking feeling? Mudholes di mana mana to suck you---- downunder (definitely an Aussie run). Nice sunset which the circle didnt comment on. But what else do you expect in what was pretty featureless kountry (so far). Friendly kampongs. Surprisingly little paper relaying ( which was amazing given how much stringy stuff the hares spewed out onto the trail). The local lassies busting in native dress – a site for sore eyes for those who were trying to admire what little scenery there was.

Then a blessing (depending on your faith) in disguise for shortcutters at the long escarpment/ loop -thanks again to the friendly locals pointing to the jalan di bawah with, of course youve got it, enough paper on the trail for any site impaired hasher to find. Now the run in its last one-turd , as a paddy said ( I didnt see any ricefields!), started to pick up. Down past the batcaves. The sort of place where Torajans keep their dead whores or a pedalphile keeps his bicycle and on in in 70 minutes for the scribe-to-be ( at that stage he wasnt yet the scribe). As for Elephant ... who is your scribe, he came considerably later. I bet he stopped off at the catacombs for a quickie.

The Circle

This is the hard part. Not just because Fanta is bad for the memory. But leaving early is. I remember the downdowns got off to an early start for the hares following the victory over the All Blacks. Prize for anyone who nose why KK wore a kimono ( KK you are eligible to answer also ).The honorable Hashmaster called out the ice and invited the Hare, who had just had his annual haircut, to cool himself off after having humped so much paper round the run. The environmental conscience of JH3 is about as impressive as the global efforts to reduce the hole in the ozone layer (which incidentally is about the size of Oz).

The run analysis reflected the pack’s mood- ugly. Shit of a run (M Dragon). An area all sensible hares have always avoided (Witless). Too much bogpaper on the trail (Bloodknock). Chased by four dogs and nowhere near the Tanamour (Wendy). Same shit as four months ago and Ive been away four months ( R Turd). Kept us guessing that it was a leftie for the first 100 metres (Sheepskin). No shred of evidence Timor ballots were used for laying the trail ( Jerker).

The Returners

Selamat Ulang Tahun, Wendy and thanks for the barrel.

A few good jokes followed. Hardcase’s three bears was a courageous affort for such a lousy joke. Konkorde’s what a big nose youve got, granma. Magic Dragon’s nomination of Dili for Interhash 2006.

The On On On

Absolutely no idea. I stayed past my sacktime as it was. Nite nite.

Written and authorized by Stretch