Jakarta Hash House Harriers

Scribe Sheet Run 1677

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HASHSHIT HOLDERS: Bolty, Mudguard and Nick Leeson (run 1666)

SCRIBE’S REPORT: THE SNAG RUN

Run 1677                                            Date 26th January  2001                              
Hares : Jonesy, MudGuard

Statistics:    Members 35, New Members 7, Wisitors 2 Total 45.
Site:  Jagorawi Golf Course

The Run: The Snag Night

Where I come from, where they speak the Queen’s English properly (that’s Morningside in Edinburgh you heathens), Snags are “wee bitty” problems or a wee knot in your fishing line. But obvious when the Queen’s English gets transported half way across the world, to a place which is upside down, to a place renown for harbouring those Brits daft enough to have been caught by The Peelers, then Snags take on a completely new meaning. This is all very interesting. But what is very intriguing is how a knot in a fishing line can, after two hundred years of being stood on its head, fermented in the booze soaked brains of the sun soozled Aussies, turn this into a ½ kilo of beef wrapped in a condom? It defies comprehension … but what’s new! All our Aussie members do as well!  

But coming back to the Morningside Snag, there was a wee Snag with this run tonight too. To be more specific, there was an element of sacrilege as this run was set on the hallowed turf of the royalist and ancientist golf course in Jakarta (its nearly as old as JH3). I ask you, is this really a suitable place to bring half a hundred clod hoppers to stagger, waddle and sweat and generally desecrate one of the finest male geriatric recuperation centres in the country? I rest my snag!!

The Circle : A String of Mad Snags

Welcome back great HM Herpes. But what was this he saw before him. In the space of just a few weeks absence, the HM was confronted with the largest JH3 turnout of male cross-country runners (that’s Bolty marketing speak ) in over three years. And his reaction, “Gentlemen, v are not doing enough to discourage new members.” Out of shear spite, the nearest two new members where unceremoniously put on ice .. “that vill teach you c----” … and don’t come back (unless you enjoy cool members). And so it came to pass that Gringo and Neville had their first taste of JH3 ice … if that doesn’t keep them away, HM will have to try harder next week. Unfortunately Gringo, an outcast from the Barnes Hash in London, decided to play his trump card as he proudly declared “Hash Masters don’t drink alone!”. Unfortunately, after Herpes had had his DD, Gringo owned up that he was now actually a past HM. In that case, call in the Past HMs, they don’t drink along either! Snigger, snigger.

Dripper had just returned from Bangkok and was off the booze again. He was apparently taking penicillin for a leg injury .. what a lame excuse! Do we look stupid enough to believe that old one … mmm probably! But of all the tails we have heard of Bangkok, surely getting a septic splinter in your leg is one of the weirdest one. 

Jonesy, what are you cooking there on the bbq? …“Mad cow snags”.  ..Mmmm delicious. There should be a big turn out then, as most of the members have precious little sanity to worry about losing.

The Run Discussion: Snags, Snags Glorious Snags!

Bring in Mudguard and Jonesy, the hairless Hares (well they are not rabbits … they don’t f--- enough). Klark Kunt was again caught performing super-human feats.. this time holding Tom Jones’ hand to ford a river. What a super hero! Apart from the rule 6 infringement he thought “good run!” Dr Jerker then enlightened us why Tom J was so scared of falling into the river … someone upstream had reportedly eaten a pork snag and then shit in the river … not quite halal! This obviously didn’t both BraveFart who went for a swim (the police are still checking Sunda Kelapa for his body). SheepsKin reckoned there were 4 halves to this run but overall it was not half bad. Tartan Kilt, a Scottish wisitor, enjoyed the ran but its wasn’t cold enough for him  ..Big mistake! Bring on the ice sandwich (commonly known as the laptop). To sum up, the HM liked the first half of the run, but 2nd half had too much Kampung therefore just a good run.

Announcements: Snags! Come and get your lovely Snags!

4th March. Bali Trihashlon. Register immediately said MudGuard  … not there BraveFart.

18th February. Magic Dragon corrected a previous hash sheet (oops) by saying this was a Sunday run but anyone with a spare tent was welcome to join him on his lawn on preceding Saturday night for a party.

11th February. Jonesy is organising golf at Halim 2. Register by next Tuesday or else he won’t give you a Snag.

23-26th March. JH3 30th Anniversary weekend. Watch this space because nothing is happening yet.

Don’t forget Pan Indo Tarzan. See You! You fu------ trouble!

MGM is organising next weeks run up north somewhere .. see front page for details.

Achievers and Snag Abusers

On in Rab Eye for 100 run mug and Herpes for under achieving and 350 runs.

Now for some songs. Tartan Kilt and Sheepskin did a rousing Yogi bear, then the Hares came in and sung MudGuard’s very own “Yes, I’m the greatest hasher”.

Then after this the jokes started flowing think and fast. There was a brief rerun of some of the jokes from the Burns Supper with BraveFart doing some more English bashing and Rabeye winding up Koncrete Kock about the meaning of his name - Walker means “intelligent, rich, good in bed” but unfortunately Anthony means “not very”.

Koncrete K, that sexagenarian, changed the subject quickly and tried to convince us clean living heterosexuals that you were only quire if you took it but not if you gave it. Then he proceeded by telling a filthy wristwatch joke, which plumbed the depths of homosexual depravity … ho ho ho. Then it was BraveFart’s turn for fighter pilot Pierre to go down in flames. Poor lass!

By this stage the smell of the snags, steak etc was causing a major distraction so just before mutiny in the circle took place, the HM called for pots on the floor before all swung over to the bbq for the on-on. Fantastic nosh guys! But Jonesy, you did remember to wash your hands after your visit to the bushes?

                                                                                    Gay Gordon


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