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From: "Dion C. Torraville" 
Subject: [OW!?] He's Back.
Date: 07 Jan 1999 00:00:00 GMT
Message-ID: 
Organization: Memorial University of Newfoundland
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
Mime-Version: 1.0
Newsgroups: alt.fan.sailor-moon



       "Goddess I HAVE to go back!" The ethreal being complained as he
looked out a magic mirror reflecting a picture of Otaku World.

       "Why?" A feminine voice echoed throughout the Great Chamber. "You
died in combat by your author's own hand.  It's a sign that your time on
the warring planet if through.  All spirits of main characters come here
when they've died non-omnipotently."

       "I was VAPORIZED!" he complained, "How is that non-omnipotent?!"

       "BY your author, that's how.  If any other author had done it to
to you, the anti-omnipotent laws could have saved your life, enabled you
continue on." She replied patiently, "My hands are tied in this matter, even
I can't go against the authors.  I merely enforce the laws they set down in
the very beginning."

       Tuxedo Dionysus sighed, turned back to the glass and gazed out.
"I can't stand being couped up here with my faction on the other side."

       "It isn't your faction any more, Dionysus.  Brutus leads the
faction now as your successor."

       "I didn't mean it like that." TD bit back some other remarks he was
tempted to add. "The Minakochanians are a part of me as I'm a small part
of them.  I... need them."

       Silence reigned in the room.

       "There's nothing I can do." The voice finally answered. "Your author
took you out of the Wars! and the authors always know what their doing."

       

       "What if my baka author made a mistake?  Perhaps I wasn't suppose
to be vaporized and just sorta toasted for a while?" TD asked hopefully.

       "Impoossible.  Authors never make mostakes." Godess Otaku rplied.

       "AHA!  There's proof!" TD shouted, "What did you say? Eh?  EH?"

       "I said 'Impossible.  Authors never make mistakes.'" Goddess Otaku
replied as the chamber started to flood a bit.

       "No you didn't, you said 'rplied'!" TD shouted!

       "No I didn't, that was the narrator."

       "Doh! .... I mean very good!  I still means authors make mistakes!"

       "Bah, it was only a few typos."    

       "Well answer me this... If my author wanted me dead, why is my
body still very much alive?  And my heart crystal still intact?"

       "...."

       "AND THIS POST!  Why is this post being written?!"

       "Ok fine, I really just want to keep you here to serve me grapes
for all eternity.  Happy?" the voice sulked.

       "Noooooooo.  I want to go home!"

       "Not possible.  You're still just a spirit, and all spirits belong
here.  Not there."

       "Ahem.. what about Nyagachillidog?" TD spat. "He's been a spirit
there forever!  Why isn't he here?!"

       "Because he didn't walk through the gates as eagerly as you did."



       "Doh!" >_<  "Ok, so what if I brought him here?"

       "Well, so long as I have someone to cook and clean around here
I guess I'd let you stay on Otaku World..."

      "DONE!" TD shouted as he ripped off his apron. "I'll go get him!"
     
      TD grinned Nefariously[1] then walked out the door.


TBC ... This weekend when I get a grip on things in the Wars! ^_^;


Tuxedo Dionysus
The Soul Minakochanian
(Reminding everyone to refrain from using the QuickBasic interpreter as a
makeshift text editor.)

Footnotes:
[1] Nefariously? NEFARIOUSLY?!  Does that prelude to a new Nefarious Plan?!
Bet on it. ;)