From: Cathe Ragsdale 
Subject: [OW!] Another hat in the ring
Date: 09 Jan 1999 00:00:00 GMT
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Since Matt's taking his time posting this, I'll go ahead and do it
anyway. Call it a preview on the VP scandals planned. -_^
------------------------------------------------
[Fade in from black to heroic picture of Nyakun facing away from the
camera
 - BGM "Rufus' Presidential March", FF7]


[Nyakun turns to face the camera - a wind blows his hair]

"Some people talk about peace in the Wars!. Bringing peace to the
 Otaku Wars! is contradictory and would, in fact, end them. I propose to
 maintain the quality of the Otaku Wars! so they'll be around to *enjoy*
 for a long time. And who knows. Maybe even YOUR 
 faction will eventually win."

[A gleam appears on the horizon, and quickly grows to become the KAV.
The KAV skids sideways to a stop, and Tom steps out next to Nyakun.
Cue Sonic Boom]

"That's right. All we ever do anymore is fight, when we should be
fighting!
Quitcher bellyachin' and have some fun!" [Tom takes a hand held mic, and
walks to 
the right, in front of a large blueprint] "Take this NO here for
example."
[Tom gestures to a recently appeared NO, Nyakun enters, and stands on
the other 
side of the NO] "He's been making fun of our faction." Tom continues
"What 
should we do?" [Nyakun takes out his own mic]

"Gee Tom, lately, I'd say we accuse him of writing us out of character,
violating the spirit of the Wars! and start a long NS thread arguing 
about it!" Nyakun replies with mock sincerity.

"Close." Tom replies, "But I think the *true* spirit of the Wars! would
dictate
something a little different." [Tom puts two fingers to his mouth and
whistles.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone appear in cowboy garb] "Look! It's our
friends, 
South Park-keteer Companions! Hi South Park-keteer Companions!"

[Trey and Matt point to the NO] "Someone is coming." [Nyakun and Tom
sweatdrop]

"Ok, that's great. Thanks." Nyakun comments. 

"You guys remember that little job we hired you for?" Tom asks.
[Realization and comprehension dawn of Trey and Matt's faces, and they
nod
vigorously. They grab the NO, and run off stage] "Well, check back on
them in 
a few minutes. Now, some of you are probably wondering about this huge
blueprint
we're standing in front of. Nyakun, care to explain?"

"Sure Tom. What you see here are the plans for our victory party when
you elect us
as the new President and Vice President of Otaku World. Here you see the
NFR (Yes 
Speedie, we know we haven't made reservations, but you'll be paid double
the normal
rate, plus damages). Up here is the pool, which will be filled with malt
liquor. 
Over here, you see the Hells Angels Reunion, in this area we have the
Hot Chicks/Major 
Studs area, which will of course be filled with nothing but the hottest
chicks, and 
the best looking studs. And we're even going to keep Tom from trying to
impersonate 
one of the studs this time. But the part I think you'll all like best is
right here.
This is the Ass-whupping booth. If we get elected, each and every one of
you may 
come and personally kick Tom's ass (limit one per customer)." [Tom
sweatdrops]

"Uhh...ok. Let's check in on Matt and Trey our South Park-keteers. Matt?
Trey?
How's it going with that NO?" [Camera Switch to Matt and Trey playing
with what
appear to be those little electric race-track trigger gun thingies]

"Oh, it's going great Tom!" Trey begins. 
"Yeah, we like this a lot better than a long NS thread for revenge."
Matt adds.
[Camera zooms out, and reveals that the little trigger guns are actually
controling
large Mack Trucks which are racing around the NFR Haruka SuperSpeedway.
Camera
re-zooms on the track, and we see the offending NO in concrete boots on
the 
Start/Finish line panicking each time the Trucks zip past.]

"All right, thanks South Park-keteers. Now ladies and Gentleotaku, I've
already
told you my plans for the Presidency, but what about Tom? Traditionally,
the
VP doesn't do a whole lot, but I think my friend here has his own ideas
about that.
Care to enlighten us Tom?"

"Certainly Nyakun. After election, I intend to put the Vice, back in
Vice President.
I promise you no less than a scandal per month, revolving around me.
Take a look
at what we've tenatively got lined up for the first few months here."
[Tom pulls out 
a long list]" 'Tom caught supplying Plutonium to Cape-Mike,' 'Tom found
running 
pantsless through the streets: Blames Bad Judgement and Good Tequila,'
'Secret 
brothel discovered in OSDF Castle: Ladies point to Tom as the Pimp' 'Tom
loses 
OSDF castle, and pants, in high stakes poker game..." [Tom continues
reading, but 
his voice is faded out]

"As you can see, we have great things in store for Otaku World. If
nothing else,
just remember you get to kick his ass" [Jerks a thumb at the still
reading Tom]
"if we win. Thank You." 

[fade to "Otaku Wars! Eternal" logo]

Narration: "Ask yourself. What kind of leadership do you *really* want?"

[words "Otaku Wars! Eternal" fly to upper-left quarter of screen; most
 of the rest of the screen is filled with an italic "Nyakun(in 
 aquamarine)Tom(in blue)President '99"]

(Paid for by the Nyagchilios for President fund)
--

Tom
Text file Source (historic): geocities.com/tokyo/ginza/2777/jan08-14

geocities.com/tokyo/ginza/2777
geocities.com/tokyo/ginza
geocities.com/tokyo

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