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From: Prefect Euclid 
Subject: [OW!] The Word 'kiosk' Does Not Appear in this Post
Date: 12 Jan 1999 00:00:00 GMT
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Previously, on Otaku Wars!

- What, do I look like the kind of guy who used to write long and
detailed previously sections every week for no other reason than
because he could?!?  ...uh... nevermind...

That Wacky Reanimated Corpse, Dark Joel, wrote:

> (Sorry if this posts twice).

No apology could possibly suffice.  I have dispatched my trusty
assassins to deal with the problem.  Die, heathen.

> Joel sat down his plate at a convenient table and took out a
> notebook and pen.   After pondering a bit he added a third item
> before putting the pad away, "Launch evil scheme to
> resurrect/summon Master Villain."
>
> He then picked at his food a bit before sauntering over to the
> Abacus look-alike. "You must be an SZ-97 Gamma series World
> Computer Interface," he said idly. "I do so hope there's a
> scheme to all this. I mean, I'm all dressed up and this is no
> place to wreck evil." He leaned forward and whispered in the
> android's ear. "It's too easy," and then idly stroked the
> android's cheek once."Hm, nice skin texture" he remarked. "So,
> you have something planned, yes?" he concluded in a normal
> tone.

     A steady gaze that could arguably freeze Hell levelled
itself on the suave new villain.  Most people would've found that
constant stare, those slightly narrowed eyes, those faintly
glittering pupils fairly unnerving.  Joel, however, was too busy
trying to decide if that faint sparkle was actually a reflection
of his face in the android's eyes, or just some random anomaly. 
Suffice it is to say, he wasn't particularly phased by Gamma
android's reaction.

     After several minutes passed wherein the android stared and
Joel, being one of those slightly - but not excessively - vain
villains, continued to search for his reflection, the android
shook his head and smiled a smile that didn't even come close to
reaching his eyes.

     "Eighty-seven," he said evenly.

     "What?"

     "I am an SZ-87 Gamma series World Computer interface.  Not
ninety-seven."  With that, the SZ-87 android turned and started
for the doors to the backroom.  Joel frowned and considered
following, but then the android paused and added:  "Nice call on 
Merl.  I thought a Sailor Ice Blade/Cape-Mike child would be more
believable.  You did miss one thing, though."  He touched the
back of his neck.  "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a parable to
compose." And he disappeared from the room.

     Joel turned back to the chibi-villainess, frowned
thoughtfully, and lifted the hair from the back of her neck. 
Merl squirmed in irritation and extricated herself from his
grasp, but not before he saw the small etched metal plate:

                            > MADE IN TAIWAN <

     "Huh." Joel commented dryly.

****

     Akaena Elfid sat in his throne, loosening his tie, itching
his 'fro, fidgeting and generally looking agitated.  "We've lost
most of the conference attendees," he said.  "How did that
happen?"

     "I think most of them just lost interest," Sailor Tetra
replied with a shrug, "But not many of them looked like
candidates for holding the Sacred Tidbits.  By the way, have you
seen Emerald Blade anywhere?"

     "I wondered the same thing," Akaena replied between sips of
some unidentifiable but no doubt evil beverage, "he was supposed
to arrange the catering for the Food Fights the Evil Way
panel.  Oh well... He can't have strayed far."

     "I haven't seen him either," Sailor Breeze said as she
wafted into the room, "Hey, what's the story on this Sacred
Tidbit thing, anyway?  I got here late."

     Akaena perked up - now he had an audience!  "Well you see,"
he began, leaning forward in his throne, "The Great eTexts
*clearly* state..."

****

     The SZ-87 android stared thoughtfully at the Staff of
Magius.  Now that most of the attendees were gone, he could
finally determine if his theory proved correct.   He hefted the
staff over his head- there was no real reason to break the
artifact, but hell, wasn't it more fun that way?  The android
brought the staff toward the concrete floor at lightning speed-

     "Just *what* do you think you're doing with that?" Sailor
Ice Blade asked, sounding somewhat perturbed.  Yuiren scowled for
effect, though said effect was somewhat lost due to the fact that
she was currently latched onto her matron's leg.

     -but stopped just before it hit the ground.  "Nice staff,"
the android grunted, tossing it to Sailor Ice Blade who caught it
deftly.  "Good weight."

     There was always tomorrow.

****

- Euclid

---
Grand Master,
Cult of Cefca

For term papers and good grades, I am a follower of Combinatorics and
Optimisations Bushido, the suugaku no heishi, High-Prefect Euclid!
Dentaku ni kawatte, oshioki da yo!