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From: David =?iso-8859-1?Q?Gra=F1a?= 
Subject: [OW!] Ultimatum . . . from the last guy you'd ever consider
Date: 14 Jan 1999 00:00:00 GMT
Message-ID: <369EAB7F.7154B83@bu.edu>
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Organization: Boston University
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Newsgroups: alt.fan.sailor-moon

Chaos X breathed slowly in his bed.  In his mind, a horrid dream was
tearing him apart.  Let's take a peek, shall we?  Here we go!

The young man faced off against two mirror images of himself (!) - one
wore an orange martial-arts outfit, and the other had six spheres
attached to his belt.  Chaos X was decked in his costume, and stared at
the doppledangars menacingly.

"What's going on?" the OW! version asked.

"We - I - whatever, we have to choose," replied the "Dragonball"
persona.

"Choose what?" asked "Pokemon" David.

"Choose which one of these personalities dominates!" the author shouted.

"I don't understand," the "Sailormoon" related figure spoke.

"Let me explain," the author said as he materialized in front of the
figures.  "Due to Sailormoon withdrawl and the hack-job that DiC did on
the first two seasons, I've been suffering from a slight dissinterest in
all things Moonie . . ."

Chaos X gasped.

"I'm not done.  It's not just the show, however.  Val has stopped taking
orders for a while, Mixx still hasn't delivered the newest issue of
SMILE, and alt.fan.sailor-moon has been diverging waaaaaay off topic
with stuff about roaches and FFVII.  I think I'm un-otaku-ing . . ."

"Don't say that," Chaos X said.  "Sailormoon is so much more than the
stuff you said . . ."

"Yeah, but without a steady source of otaku info, I'm f%^&#ed,
metaphoricaly speaking.  Let's face it, I'm not into this show as much
as before.  Take a look for yourself."  The author pointed to the
doppledangers and continued.  "Dragonball and Pokemon, I'm starting to
like them, maybe even more than Sailormoon.  I love the show, but I'm
torn between these three.  I was hoping for a battle-royal, one whose
outcome would determine my loyalty."  Chaos X listened intently, while
Poke-Chaos and Dragon-Chaos sparred, the former using 'Pikachu,' the
latter employing 'Kaioh-ken.'  Dragon-Chaos beat the mouse with no
problem at all.

"But if I lose," Chaos X said, "what'll happen to the Wars?"

"I guess I'll drop out," Dav . . . I mean the author said with a shrug. 
Dragon- and Poke-Chaos stared at him in shock.

"You can't quit!" Poke-Chaos said.

"Pika . . ." a fainted Pikachu whispered in agreement.

"Why not?" the author asked.  "Maybe five people on that NG respect me. 
How many less care whether or not I'm in the Wars?  Remember how much
they hated you, Chaos X?"

"What about Melody?" Dragon-Chaos asked.  "I - we - still like her . .
."

"I love her, author," Chaos X said humbly, "and I don't want to leave
her, despite what you think the rest of the NG feels about you and me
... us ... whatever."

"Besides," Poke-Chaos started.  He approached the author and whispered
into his ear.  I . . . he blushed quickly and nodded his head.  After
thinking for a long time (two hours, during which Chaos X scared the
other two parts of himself with his sword-techs), the author came up
with a solution.

"I've got it!"  he shouted.  David screamed as he fell out of bed, onto
the hard, paper floor of oNT.

"Dammit to HFIL," Chaos X shouted, frightening Waark.  He called his
ride over and patted him softly on the head, feeding it a pack of
Chibi-Usa-shaped crunchies.

"Eat up, my friend," David said, a glint shining in his eye, "soon our
glorious goddess, Sailormars-san, will be victorious."

After his yummy dinner (mmm-mmm!!), Waark burped and excused himself. 
David mounted his Chocobo and rode out the entrance to oNT.  Turning
slightly, he fired a kamehame-ha at the structure, utterly destroying
it.

"Waark wark ark!" the bird shouted.

"We don't need it anymore," David laughed. He reached into his pocket
and removed his transformation device.  "Chaos Eternal Power! MAKE
UP!!"  Once again light enveloped the young man, and once again he
gained the power he had longed for these past months - Eternal Sailor
ChaosX was born again!

'I'm sorry, Melody,' David thought to himself, 'but I have to do this,
for myself and my author . . . we need to find ourselves this way!' 
Waark and David flew up to the top of Otaku Mountain, where Waark ate
some grass.  David climbed to the peak and shouted in a booming voice:

"Listen, all you Otaku Warriors!! A challange from Eternal Sailorchaosx,
the greatest worshiper of the holy Rei-chan, has been presented!!  I
challenge all non-Reichanians to a battle against me, free-for-all!!  If
I win, Sailormars will be declared the ultimate Sailor Senshi, and I
will have the title of Supreme Otaku Warrior!  Should I lose . . . then
. . . I will leave the Wars . . . forever!!!"  David thought a bit, then
screamed again:  "Yeah, that's about right!!"  He turned from his point,
wondering who would first respond to his challange, ignoring the rant
from the Horny Old Geezer from the Chocobo Barn.  ESCX climbed down the
summit and turned to his Chocobo, only to be taken aback by his first
challanger.

"Oh . . ." he gasped.  The Otaku Warrior stared at him, crying.

"Are you serious?" the OW asked.  David nodded.

"I'm sorry, but I have to do this . . . forgive me . . . Melody . . ."

---
Whoa, it ain't over yet!  It's me, Waark, Dave's Chocobo!  I hope you're
at the edge of your seat, 'cuz I am! Stay tuned to the reply to this,
and find out if Dave becomes the eternal winner, or the super loser! 
And what's gonna happen to the relationship between Medellia and David? 
Hmm . . . at any rate, let's have fun, and bring the meaning of the Wars
back from the dead, 'k?  Waa-AAARK!

Shut up, bird.

-- 
David "Tuxedo Endymion" Graa
--------------------------------------------------------------------
He laughed softly.

"You think that, because of their place in government, that they
have all the power?  I wield more power in my finger than the
combined might of the entire United States government.  Now be a
good soldier and die."

	Kal Et Noban, from my upcoming book "Love Your Neighbor"
	(tentative title), which at this rate, will be released
	in the year 2001.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Another E-Mail: gdgrana@mamorumail.zzn.com
--------------------------------------------------------------------
ICQ me at 22450317
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Or IM here:  SChaosX
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MoonieCode(1.8.11)
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X: a1r|5s+|82d+[+]: m7s+[+]  O: d-[-]: s[+]: o: a[+]: h
P: a18: s57: w+: f[-]: eBrg: hBr: t[-]: cHi: y?: r+|+

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