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From: cy467@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Jason Eric Tucker)
Subject: [OW!] A Big Fight Brewing and a Commercial for Viewing!
Date: 19 Jan 1999 00:00:00 GMT
Message-ID: <7833qd$idm@freenet-news.carleton.ca>
Organization: The National Capital FreeNet
X-Given-Sender: cy467@freenet5.carleton.ca (Jason Eric Tucker)
Reply-To: cy467@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Jason Eric Tucker)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.sailor-moon



Previously in the Otaku Wars! (in no particular order):

-The Artemisian Warrior joined the Capcomchanians, hoping to
 gain llies against that darn ferrocious lavendar bunny. What
 a weenie!

-Anna Dammit! Tell me what you're doing!

-It snows all over Otaku World.

-Snowball fights errupt!

-Hiryu channels the power of characters from everyone's favorite
 major video game conglomerate, giving him 45 minutes of butt-
 kicking omnipotence. Too bad he'll end up weak and helpless
 as a nameless otaku afterward.

-Regulus' body gets reanimated when it is possessed by the
 ghost of his long-dead brother Spectre!

-Look for more updates to the OW! Info Page by the end of
 the week!

And now, on with the show...

============================================================

The Otaku Wars! presents...

     "A Big Fight Brewing and a Commercial for Viewing!"
		     (OR:"Stuff Happens!")

	Ryu peered out the window of the massive AMICHAN,
which was still doing little more than hovering above the
crater that used to be its hangar. Hiryu no Hana, the flower
shop that used to be where the crater was now, was no more.
	Ryu peered out the plexiglass portal to see the nigh-
insane neko-dude ranting and raving, screaming chalenges to
all other Otaku Warriors at the top of his lungs.
	"First we get the call from the Artemisian Warrior,
asking to join the defunct Capcomchanians," he recounted.
"When we get there, he's cowering in fear of a cute little
rabbit. Then, it starts snowing. After that, we come back here
and Hiryu does his little mad scientist routine. What a day."
	"Sou desu, ne?" NeoAmi-chan agreed from behind.
	"Does he do this often?" Medellia Blue asked, noting
Hiryu's erratic behavior.
	"You have no idea," Ryu answered. "I suppose we should
try to help him. He's one of our own." He paused for a moment
and then said, "Let's just send the new guy."
	"What new guy?" Medellia asked.
	"Huh? Hey, where did the Artemisian Warrior go?" Ryu
asked, looking left and right.
	"Acchi da," answered NeoAmi-chan [1], pointing outside
to the battlefield of snow."

[Arty writes:]
> The SPICEgear pulled up at Hiryu's usual place for challenging
> people, and the AW disembarked.
>
> "You! How dare you refer to me as inferior. Prepare to get the
> crap kicked out of you!"
>
> "HA! I laugh!" laughed S.Hiryu.  "You will feel the teeth of
> my wedgie before this day is through."
>
> "Oh, I don't think so," was the sneering reply of the AW.
> "See, I remember your wedgie attacks from before, and I'm
> prepared.  I'm not wearing any underwear!"

	Ryu cringed. "That was more than we needed to know!"
	"What now?" Medellia asked.
	"I don't know. Maybe our fearless leader can suggest
something. Let's go ask Hydrus."

*["Meanwhile, someplace else..." scene switch]*

[J-me did scribe:]
> Suddenly Speedie fell in a fit of laughter.
>
> "Ka Chu?"
>
> "Oh, it's just that the Ami-chanians are challenging everyone,"
> Speedie supplied between laughter.
>
> "Does this mean we are going to accept the challenge?" Dreadite
> asked after the stars cleared away.
>
> "Of course we are, there only Ami-chanians, they must be put back
> in there place."

	Piloting the Tux-mech, the Mamochanians and Chibi-Youma
began making their way from the snowdrifts of the snowball
fights to the snowdrifts where the Capcom-powered Hiryu
continued ranting.

*["Mecha at the height of fashion" scene switch]*

	"Hey, Hydrus," said Ryu. "Hiryu went nuts and is now
temporarily omnipotent. What should we do?"
	"It was out!" yelled Hydrus.
	"I said it was in!" yelled Murdock.
	"Out!"
	"In!"
	"Ryu-kun, it seems Hydrus and Murdock are more
interested in their ping-pong match."
	"Oh, wonderful," said Medellia. "Can't you make a
decision?" she asked of the headband-wearing otaku.
	"Well, hey, it's not easy, you know," Ryu defended.
"Why don't you decide something? What do you think we should 
do?"
	"Well..." she began.

*["Back in the snowdrift" scene switch]*

	"Ha-HAA!" cackled Hiryu. "How does *that* feel?!"
	As a response, the Artemisian Warrior could do little
more than make a small squeaking noise. He wished he had worn
underwear. Instead of the soft cotton of undergarments, he
felt the pain of being wedgied with the tougher denim of his
pants.
	As Hiryu gloated over the fledgling Capcomchanian,
a weak, exausted figure aproached from behind. She wore
tattered blue clothing that offered little protection from
he cold. Her eyes turned to the sky, where she saw the massive
AMICHAN hovering above, still in Ami mode.
	"Lady Mercury!"
	Hiryu spun around, saying, "You wanna piece of me,
too?! Put 'em up! Put 'em up!"
	"Nay, good sir, I have come seeking the beacon of 
Sailor Mercury which I saw some nights ago."
	"Who are you?" Hiryu asked.
	"I am the elf Galadriel, and I have been wandering
aimlessly these many, many months. It all began when--..."
	"Never heard of ya," the neko-dude interrupted. "So,
are you here to fight or not?"
	"But, good sir, I--..."
	"C'mon! I got a buncha butts that need kicking and 
you're holding things up!"
	Their dialogue was cut short when a large shadow fell
upon them. They turned and looked to see the Tux-mech towering
above them.
	"Hi, Hiryu!" called Dreadite over the speakers.

*["Butt-kicking for 45 minutes" scene switch]*

	A white fieldmouse was studying the latest opinion 
polls, paying careful attention to the demographics of Anteros' 
supporters. The way things were looking, the Anteros/Eros
ticket was very strong with the rodent population, though
not terribly so with felines.
	"Excuse me," said a rather malodorous grey sewer rat,
tapping the fieldmouse on the shoulder. "There's a primate 
on TV making lots of promises."
	The fieldmouse went over to the television and switched
it on, tuning in to a commercial. On the commercial was a dark 
man in a black gi.

		"Buenos tardes, gentes de Otaku World. [2] I 
	am Ryu, and I would like to be your president. Before 
	you change the channel and say to yourselves, 'This 
	looks like another of the Named for the Named,' let 
	me tell you that I feel your pain. I know the havoc 
	that this senseless war wreaks upon you all. That is 
	why, as president, I will end this war and crush those 
	who are responsible!" To illustrate this, he squeezed
	a fist in front of him. "And I shall begin with the
	last of the remaining founders of the Wars!: The ones
	you call Cape-Mike, Nightman, Hydrus, Murdock, and
	Rockman X. They began this war, and together, we can
	finish it! Gracias, y Dios lo bendida Otaku World!"[3]

	"Looks like he'll get a lot of votes from the nameless,"
concluded the fieldmouse.
	"Too bad their votes don't count," said the sewer rat.

To be continued... Anyone?

			-Jason Tucker

============================================================

[1] "He's over there."
[2] "Good afternoon, people of Otaku World."
[3] "Thank you, and God bless Otaku World!"

MoonieCode(1.12.05) 
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Nanika koshaa ja nai da yo!
Mizu domo kabutte hansei shinasai!
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