From: spamthis@anddie.commune (hhu)
Subject: [OW!]Kick it!!!!!! Was Re: [OW!]--The cat's out of the bag. Come get him, Minpire!
Date: 13 Mar 1999 00:00:00 GMT
Message-ID: 
References: <36e9b500.13443965@news.triton.net>
X-Complaints-To: abuse@lava.net
X-Trace: mochi.lava.net 921392917 2498 207.26.195.125 (14 Mar 1999 06:28:37 GMT)
NNTP-Posting-Date: 14 Mar 1999 06:28:37 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.fan.sailor-moon

eP wrote...

>I'm THINKING!  Um...soccer balls.  It was raining soccer balls and the
>soccer game had to be called.
>
>"Why not dogs and cats?  That would be funnier."
>
>SHUT UP!  OK.  Soccer balls, with mixed Dogs and Cats

        Harold stood in the center of the field with an Adidas soccer ball
in one hand and a whistle in another.  Ever soccer player and fan knows
you never, EVER call a game on account of weather.  AW shook his head back
and forth, taking in the precipitation.  Brutus took off his jersey and
slid on the muddy surface on his belly.  Korb stood at his position.  He
flipped up his collar and sneered.

"It's time to play, Caaanntooona style"  He said with a  bad italian
accent.  Artemis the cat and Wiseass took up positions near the penalty
box.  Minako was now dressed in a White, long sleeve jersey with medium
sized orange stars dotted all over.  She put on a pair of leather gloves
and took her position in the goal keeper's box.

     On the other side of the field, Nic-chan stood in goal.  Chris-kun
took up the sweeper position.  Rei, Nightman ,and Usagi took up positions
at the front.  Harold blew his whistle and let out a long tweet.

"TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!"  Nightman
tapped the ball and Usagi dribbled it up field.  She then passed the ball
to Rei.  Brutus ran in front of Rei and shadowed her every move.  Rei's
face showed frustration.  She moved left, Brutus moved to her left.  She
moved forward , he backtracked.  Korb Ran in to pick up the ball.  AW ran
half heartedly as he finally saw his other idol senshi.

"Rei-chaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!" he said, hearts in his eyes.  A trail of drool
hanging off of the side of his mouth.  Nightman ran parallel to Rei and
urged her to pass. Artemis ran in but was slammed by a golden retriver
that fell from the sky.  Rei kicked the ball high into the air.  She
followed the ball with a jump of her own.  Kicking aside some persian,and
tabby cats and a few soccer balls, she put her hands together with her
index fingers pointed out.

"FIRE SOULLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!"  she yelled and a burst of flame left her
fingers.  The cats , dogs and balls in the path were quickly cremated.
Minako saw the flames coming in very quickly.  Minako screamed, and ducked
at the same time.  The fireball landed just behind her.  Minako stood up
slowly and looked at the black patch of earth that was behind her.  A few
seconds later, a ball blasted her in the back of the head.

(THUD)" OW!" she yelled.  The ball ricocheted off of a basset hound and
rolled up to the goal line.  Minako scooped up the ball and stood up. 
However, she collapsed again when a rotweiller, dalmation , and a
Newfoundland[1] all slammed into her.  Artemis's paw came up from under a
pile of nike balls.  In it was a white flag.  

"Hee hee hee,  play with fire and you're gonna get a band aid!!" said
Rei.  She landed on her feet.  Brutus not liking the turn of events looked
toward Harold. 

"Play on."  he said.  Brutus picked up a siberiean husky by the tail and
flinged it toward Harold.  Wiseass went over to Minako and helped her up.

"Goodness,  I should have seen that coming."  said Minako. Artemis crawled
slowly over to Minako. Occasionaly he was pelted by a dachshund 

"Whadda ya mean?  Rei almost turned you into tempura!  That's a penalty!" 
Minako squated down to Artemis, and shielded him from the hazardous
precipitation of .

"You see Artemis, the FIFA rules never addressed the use of weapons on the
field.  Technically, a player cannot use dangerous physical contact like
tackles, punches, scratches and the like."   Wiseass stood there and saw
Rei and Nightman approaching.  His cheeks puffed up as he saw them come. 
Nightman drew his sword and Rei took out an Ofuda.  Wiseass stood his
ground and a loud woosh came forth from his cheeks.  A green cloud
advanced, taking down Rei and Nightman.  Unfortunetly, it also took down
Brutus and Korb.  The cats and dogs that were caught in the path of the
gas died peaceful deaths.  Harold whistled the play to stop and dragged
the downed players to their respective sides.  AW took the opportunity to
make a phone call.

     On the Artemis-P, Tuxedo Dionysus and Skuld watched the game. Both of
them were dressed in orange soccer jersesys.

"I'll whack that referee into next week!!" said Skuld while waving her
mallet in a threatening manner.  TD held his MOB in a similar manner.

"If he ever comes in here Skuld, rest assured I will make him regret the
day he was born."  TD tapped the MOB on the ground. While mulling over
ideas to torture a certian faction member turned referee, the phone rang.

"Hello, Artemis-p."

"TD, it's AW.  We gotta get out of this place."

"Calm down AW.  I don't think we can blast you out of there."  For a
moment, they were both silent.  Skuld tugged on TD's shoulder.

"Play's starting soon.  Hey, who's on the phone?"  Tuxedo Dionysus covered
the mouthpiece  adn turned to Skuld.

"It's AW.  They need a way to get out."  Skuld tapped her fist into her
palm for awhile.  She then ran over to a computer.

"TD, where are all the other crew people?"  TD punched a few buttons on
the remote and the videowall filled with a picture.

  The rest of the crew of the Artemis-P all piled into the concert hall. 
The floor was filled with a sea of Orange,red and white.  Flags of all
sizes were waved by fans.  The two large movie screens flashed a picture
of Harold, and the place united with a round of boos.  At the casino, the
same scene was taking place, only this time it was at the Sportsbook. 
Where coincidentially the odds of the Minakochanians winning were 5-1.    

"TD, get the transporter array ready.  Get direct links to the concert
hall and Arty's.  13,000 fans have won themselves a free trip to the
CToTM."  TD nodded and picked up the phone.

"Hear that AW? We can get you out of there and cause a little wanton
destruction at the same time.  All you have to do is Incite the fans to
riot."  AW took the phone away from his ear and looked at it.  He replaced
the phone next to his ears and yelled into the reciver.

"Are you smoking some salmon?  Fans?  What..." 
(POOF)
"YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 
13,000 screaming, orange clad fans were now standing on one side of the
CToTM impromptu soccer field.  AW stared at the immense crowd.  He let the
his arm fall to his side and shook his head.

"fans.  TD , you're a genious!"  AW ran back onto the field.  Brutus and
Korb walked back on very slowly as did Nightman and Rei.  Harold whistled
the game back into play.  Nightman took the kick and hit it right directly
at Minako.  This time she was ready for whatever came her way.  She
scooped up the ball and sent it out with a mighty crecent beam.  the ball
sailed halfway across the field.  the ball smacked Niv-chan right in her
chest.  The rebound was picked up by AW.  He took a shot to the opposite
side Nic-chan was on.  She vanished  then rematerialized on the other
end.   Her punt was picked up by Chris-kun.  He tried to advance the ball
to Usagi.  However, Korb launched a barrage of grenades into the air. 
Brutus used this distraction to go one on one with Rockman-x.  Brutus took
his sword into the air and charged.  Rockman-X quickly fired back and
repeled Brutus.

     Play went like this for awhile.  Usagi  almost toasted half of the
crowd with a stray Starlight honeymoon therapy kiss. AW flooded the field
with Wild Cherry Pepsi and tried to use that as a distraction.  However,
the Minakochanians just couldn't break through the Reichanaian defense. 
AW eyed his watch and knew the time had come. Setting up things carefully,
he saw Rockman-X coming up to midfield.  He immedietly drew an article out
of his pocket.  He took a deep breath and threw.

"Deck of death!!"  He released the entire deck at Rockman-X. AW then drew
out his other weapon.

"Baaaningu  MANCALAAAAAAAA"  the flames came forth from AW and rushed
toward the cards.  Rockman-X duckeed below the flames, but lost control of
the Ball.  Korb came up running fast and took the ball into the penalty
box.  Nic-chan took her postition.  She looked non-chalantly at the person
running toward her.  Then she saw 52 individual flames heading toward the
goal.  Nic-chan jumped into the air and became translucent as a wave of
flaming cards passed by her.  She saw another wave of cards and turned
translucent again.  However, when she turned translucent, the ball rolled
in behind a wall of flaming cards.  

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  roared the crowd as the
goal went in.  Harold took a look at his watch and blew his whistle.

"TWEEET TWEEET TWEEET TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTT!"  AW, Korb, Minako,
Wiseass, and Brutus all got together and jumped up and down a bit.  The
game ended in a one all tie.  eP with the own goal at 40:01 and Korb with
the tie at 47:03.  The crowd stormed onto the field and surrounded the
players.  Eventually, the field became a sea of Minakochanian fans.  some
of them stood around.  However, most of them startd to tear up the
impromptu stadium.  Goals were ripped and the field shredded.   Beer
flowed all over.  The team slowly made their way out of the crowd. 
Nightman, not impressedd got ready to kill everyone.  On the spacestation,
Skuld watched the anarchy.  After a few minutes,she yelled

"Okay TD, Get em back here!"  At the CToTM, everyone dissapeared in a
flash of light.    The stadium was now a ruin.  The CToTM however suffered
no damage.  Nightman, Usagi, Rei, Rockman-X, and Nic-chan stood there.

"What the hell was that?"  asked Usagi.  Nightman Shrugged.

     Back on the station, Harold ran for his dear life.  A majority of the
crowd ran after him.

"Kill the ref!" yelled one fan.

"Off with his head!" yelled another.  Harold ran into an air duct in the
station and watched the mob pass by.  Harold crawled through the
venilation tubes. Back at the command center, Skuld monitored the security
system.

"That damn referee is on the station. Look!"  Skuld pointed to the
security monitor.  TD ran over to a computer and entered a key sequence
Alt-Command-G-A-S.  The vent shafts started to hiss, and a cloud of gas
came toward Harold.  Taking a quick Wiff, Harold crawled faster.

"Why are they using flatulence gas on me????  YAhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"  He
crawled faster. Seeing light, he pushed on the vent.  Harold fell onto the
ground and saw the rest of his faction members looking down on him.

"Hey guys, I ack!!!"  Brutus picked up Harold by the lapels of his referee
uniform.  Minako slapped Harold.

" How dare you show up here. You must die."  said Skuld.  The rest of  the
mob closed in on Harold.  Harold gasped for air as he was being throttled
by everyone.  They started to punch and beat him up.

"I'm not...ACK!! I ain't the ref!!"  AW ripped the uniform off and saw
Harold wearing his normal blue shirt.  Everyone backed off immedietly.

"How dispicable of that ref, dressing Harold up like that.  Harold, when
did he do this to you?"  asked TD.  

"Uh , I uhh, that happened, when, we left.  yeah"  Minako and others
nodded.  TD walked over to a window.

"If that referee shows up again, I will make him regret the day he was
born"  Harold walked over to a desk and wrote a note to himself that said
to throw all his ref uniforms away.  The gang all started to leave the
bridge.  Just then, a technician yelled something.

"Incoming message from some rabbit!"  everyone turned around and faced the
videowall.  The picture of Leloni bunny appeared.  TD stepped toward the
screen.

"Who are you and what do you want?" he asked.  Leloni bunny had a small smile.

"Good morning Minakochanians.  I have a score to settle with you. 
Actually just with Artemisian warrior.  For insulting Makoto-sama, I took
away something dear to you."  She giggled a bit and held up a bag.  She
reached in and pulled out Artemis.  Minako ran forward, a look of anger on
her face.

"You grabbed my pussy, you freak!"  Everyone on the bridge fell to the
ground.  Outside, the space station developed a sweatdrop.  Leloni bunny
blanched at the remark. After a breif pause, she regained her composure.

"Anyway, Artemisian Warrior will pay for his sins.  If you want this cat
back, you will find me and fight me.  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!"  The
screen faded to black.  Harold looked down to the ground.  

"It's my fault that it's this way.  If we took a simpler plan, Artemis
would not be in this spot."  Korb tried to pat him on the shoulder. 
Harold walked away.  he stopped and faced everyone.

"It's my fault that he's in this mess.  It's my responsibility to get him
back.  I know that we risk this stuff everyday, but we shou;dn't take
unecessary risks.  That plan was an unecessary risk.  I alone must stop
her." 

"But that's impossible!  Goodness knows what the hell she has planned " 
said AW.  Harold put up his hand.

"Still, It's my responsibility.  Besides, I have an idea.  But I need
Minako's help."  Everyone looked at Minako. 

"So, what's your idea?"  she asked.  Harold walked past everybody, up to
Minako's ear. He whispered what seemed a quick phrase.  Minako backed
away.

"I won't allow it!"  she said in a firm tone.  Harold got on his knees.

"Please Minako-sama.  You hold the techniques that can help me free
Artemis.  I know the risk I am undertaking by learning this.  But, if I
get hurt and Artemis gets saved, it'll be worth it.  So please.  Please. 
Ple..."  His tears streamed down and formed a puddle on the floor.  Minako
looked at the floor.  Her stare locked in on the tiles instead of Harold. 
Without word, Minako picked up Harold by the hand.  She led him to the
gym.  She laid out a gymnastics mat and ordered everyone out.  The doors
closed and locked with a click.

     TD and AW strolled down the hall.  Both of them were going to get a
few tapes until..

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"  a scream came from the kitchen.  Everyone ran to
the kitchen and saw  Brutus standing against the refrigerator.  He slowly
raised a hand.  Wiseass, AW stared at shock.  Five guys sat at the kitchen
table.  Their appearence were obscured by the lighting.  The only thing
distinguishable was a bowl of Chesse puffs in the center.  AW turned
toward TD.

"Are you mad?  You should be feeding them Tortilla chips!! Cheese puffs
are nasty!!"

"Yes AW, we are mad.  It's because they are a part of Nefarious plan 2." 
Everyone turned to the source of the mystery voice.  A spotlight turned on
and revealed it to be of Tenchi.  Behind him were Yvette ,GD Minako and SU
dressed in lab outfits.

"You're mad Tenchi.  mad."  Was all he could stammer out. A dark air
settled in over the kitchen.  The mysterious five kept eating cheese puffs
to AW's dismay.  Then from the gym, a loud slash was heard.  Then a
crunching of bones.  Then the sound of fibers tearing resonated throughout
the station.  Everybody except the mysterious five ran back to the gym.
After 15 minutes, the door burst open.  They stood there and saw Minako in
her sailor fuku, standing over Harold.  Her skirt had small gashes in it. 
Her bodice had small cuts on it.  She had spots of blood all over her. 
Harold lay on the mat.  His shirt completly torn.  His shorts were almost
non existant.  Blood covered his body from his nose, to hsi legs.  His
chest was now red from the precious liquid.  Tears streamed down his face
as he gasped for air and struggled with pain.

"Ahh, Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  He convulsed and whithed on
the mat.  Yvette and GD-Minako turned away.  Minako looked up at the group
with tears in her eyes.

"Please get him to sick bay.  Please." she then ran out of the gym as fast
as she could.  TD went off to call the Nurse Minako Holograms.

"What the hell did she teach you?"  Thought TD.  "What the hell did she
teach you?"

__________________________________________
TBC

[1]  Newfondland is a breed of dog found in , you guessed it , Newfoundland.


     Harold Uchibori
     hhu[at]lava[o]net
Text file Source (historic): geocities.com/tokyo/ginza/2777/march08-14

geocities.com/tokyo/ginza/2777
geocities.com/tokyo/ginza
geocities.com/tokyo

(to report bad content: archivehelp @ gmail)