Understand
by Kitsane
I watch his back silently as the sounds of revelry faded in the background. I can sense his discomfort emanating from him like a tangible substance. I know he feels lonely. In a sense he has lost his sister. Perhaps a large wedding wasn't such a good idea but it was what Yukina deserved. We had all grown up so fast. It was hard to imagine Kuwabara settling down to married life. Especially Kuwabara. Yukina better watch out for broken dishes. I broke out of my reverie when I heard a muffled sniff from him. I quickly move to stand next to him. He turns away and is about to leave but I cannot let him leave like this. I know how much it hurts when those closest to you seem to have forgotten about you. I felt the same when my mother remarried. I had had her for so long that I thought of her as exclusively mine. Even now it is hard for me to behave with her as I had before. We have grown apart and I hope to stop him from making the same mistakes that I did.
"Hiei." I stop as he calls my name. I want nothing to do with any of them. It was foolish of me to have even let myself get so close to them. I wanted him to go away but still he is there. He comes to stand in front of me and I refuse to meet his gaze. Instead I stare at his chest and begin to see scorch marks beginning on his shirt. He places a hand on my shoulder and this makes me raise my head quickly. My heart suddenly feels less tight as I see something I never thought he of all people would give to me. Understanding. He understood my feelings. I let him sit me down on the ground and do not move as he settles down as well. We are silent as he studies the lake and I his profile. I never realized it but he is quite attractive in a way. I try to push this thought out of my mind. Treacherous is this ground I tread upon. I'm startled out of my thoughts as he pushed a cup of sake in my hands. He grins at me "Stole it. Got two bottles with me. Come on lets not waste it." I don't argue. This sake was my boon and bane but I truly enjoyed it.
As the last bottle drips dry both him and I am drunk. He had used his skills and stolen another four bottles of sake. What a little thief. We were now sprawled out on the grass. I am falling asleep when I he asks me quietly "Yuushuke can you preash shing me a shong?" I quickly sit up and curse as the world spins. He climbs into my lap and settles there like a child. He looks up to me expectantly and says "Not that kind of song. A real song." I stare at him and I realize somewhere deep within myself that even were I not drunk I had let him get such a grip on me that I could have never refused him anything. I rack my brains and begin to sing a soft lullaby that I had loved as child.
I snuggle deeper into his arms as he sings. He has a lovely voice and the song was soothing. I had never been sung to and had wanted to see why it attracted humans so. I grip his shirt for no reason other than an instinct to keep him with me. I close my eyes and purr along to the song softly smiling as I hear him falter in surprise then resume quickly. We had drunk too much I knew but it felt good. He felt good. I liked feeling the safety his arms around me and the solidity of his chest gave me. As the song ends he falls to humming other tunes to me. I am drowsing when he hesitantly strokes my cheek. I'm surprised but I do not start. I'm enjoying it too much. Shifting a little to make it easier for him I deepen my purr and hear him chuckle softly. Soon, I am drifting into slumber taking with me the sound and feel of him and the comfort of him.
I smile and get up trying my best not to awaken him. It was almost dawn and I could hear them looking for us. The party had broken up and only the newlyweds had remained. I walk silently and as swiftly as possible. I encounter Kurama first. He stares at me then at Hiei in my arms blissfully unaware of the discomfort he was causing. As he steps forward he sniffs looking for all the world like his foxy side. He wrinkles his nose at us and steps back a little. I grin wobbly at him. He had a sensitive nose and the smell of stale sake could be a little overpowering. As I sway on my feet he quickly steps forward to take Hiei from me. We are both more than a little surprised when Hiei clutched my shirt tighter and let out a sleepy growl/whine of protest when I began to loosen my hold and transfer him to Kurama. He stares at me then lets out a little laugh. "Looks like you're gonna have to face his temper tomorrow. Thanks. Have a nice time. His temper is just lovely in the morning after." So saying, he chuckled even harder and went of to stop the search before anyone else saw us. If Hiei found out in the morning that Kuwabara had seen him he was definitely not going to be happy.
I wake up feeling an unfamiliar softness under me. I decide that since my skull was so obviously shattered, not moving would be the best idea. I don't open my eyes either, as the needles stabbing it are very sharp. I slowly get brain working again and recall what happened last night. I now wonder where I am. I hear a groan somewhere and know that I am in Yuusuke's place. I here him shuffle over to me and place a cool compress on my head. I can't speak as my tongue has cotton balls stuck to it so I sigh in relief instead. I realize he must have thought I was still asleep as he tried to make as little noise as possible. I lie quietly as I am curious to see what he does next. I wake up again when I feel a new cold compress placed on my forehead. I hear him muttering about singing and aching arms. The hangover is almost gone and I am about to thank him (only the gods know why since he got me drunk in the first place) when I feel his lips softly kiss my cheek. Then I hear him settle down onto his bed and start to snore.
It is midnight and I stare into his window as he undresses for bed. I study the way the muscles play on his back as he bends to remove his shoes. It has been two weeks since that night and I cannot understand the fascination that he has awakened in me. I can still feel his lips on my cheek and I suddenly long for his company. He has driven away my loneliness but he has replaced it with longing. I know he longs for me too but he will not do anything until I am sure of my choice. I do not want hurt him but I am glad he understands. Perhaps for long time he has understood the most of me but I have never seen it. One day however, a choice will have to be made. But I don't doubt whatever my choice, he will understand.
Kitsane@hotmail.com