Paradise
by Jessica Brady
Rating: Aside from some brief non-sexual nudity, 100% lemon-free!
Disclaimer: I have never, nor do I ever plan to, own Yu Yu Hakusho, Bakuretsu Hunters, Dragon Ball Z, TRA Jonny Quest, or any show I plan to butcher to fit my desires ever in this life time.
NOTE: Hey, so the characters are out of character. This is my first YuYu fic, and I think they are rather *cutely* out of character. And I've tried like Muhammad to get onto the Yu Yu Hakusho mailing list, with no results! What's with that!? If any of you can give me some help, I'd be really thankful.
*walks away singing Yasei no kaze no you ni and hoping people will get the reference*
Paradise
He wore black. And that was all. Kurama found pride in versatility, and, though he rarely strayed from his favorite styles, playing with colors and textures was just fun to him. Not so with Hiei. Except for the occasional mission in which he'd have to blend, the fire demon stuck stubbornly with his famous black outfit and cape. Fashion was not nearly as big an issue in the Makai as in the Ningenkai and for this reason Kurama respected Hiei's choice. It did not make Hiei exempt from a good hassle every two or three days, of course.
"There are so many colors in the world! Blue! Green! Pink! Okay, not pink! Just let me show them to you!" Kurama pleaded. He followed Hiei down the park's shaded path, on the way to another meeting with Koenma and the group. All Kurama got to see of Hiei was his back, and a shock of black hair that seemed to twitch with aggravation. The usual response to Kurama's pleading was silence interrupted by tempered glares and incomprehensible grumbles. Today, however, seemed to be written in the stars.
"Baka! Fine, just stop babbling to me!" Kurama stopped short, and tilted his head. But Hiei walked just as fast as ever, and if Kurama didn't want to loose sight of him, he'd have to speed it up. He met Hiei's side, and hugged Hiei close to his body. Somehow, he managed to continue walking.
"Wai! That's great! What made you change your mind? Do you finally see the logic in my idea? Did my charm finally win you over? Did you eat a good breakfast?" Kurama gushed. Hiei pushed Kurama away and paused.
"Hn... no, none of that. I just think if I had to deal with your moron friends again today I would destroy myself... and them. Or just them..." Koenma had gleefully sent them on an eight hour mission Sunday, citing the notion that since school was out it would be the perfect chance to catch up on some work. Social life was of no issue to him; the son of Enma seemed to have no life outside the office. Main objective: the gray Yohko who'd been bumbling around the Nigenkai, indulging his fetish for human livers. At the meeting that was held on the roof of a random city building, Yuuske and Kuwabara had been decidedly... annoying.
Kuwabara: Hey, Yuuske!
Yuuske: What?
Kuwabara: What do you say we throw Hiei off the roof?!
Hiei: I can hear you.
Kuwabara: Hey, Yuuske!
Yuuske: What?
Kuwabara: What do you say we throw Hiei off the roof?!
Hiei: I can HEAR you. There's no point in being secretive if your victim can HEAR YOU!
Kuwabara: Why, Hiei, I have no idea what you're talkin 'bout.
Kuwabara: Hey, Yuuske!
Yuuske: What?
Kuwabara: What do you say--
Hiei: YAAAAGGGHHH!!!!!
Despite Hiei's thin threads of sanity and tolerance for nigen idiocy which were swiftly wasting away, the job had been done and the yohko was contained. Human livers were safe at last. Kurama had gone home that night to see that his mother had lovingly fixed dinner and it was a nice, thick, yummy... *Shiori* had never seen her son turn down one of her special dinners before. Or turn quite that shade of green.
Anyway, it meant very little to the "human" commonly known as Minamino Shuuichi why Hiei chose to agree with shopping that day. It was great! Koenma would be fine without them for one day; besides, they were well due for a day of hooky. Yuuske seemed to get his fair share, not to mention Kuwabara.
"Okay, the nearest shopping center within walking distance is Paradise Mall. This is going to be so much fun! Hiei, I can't wait-- Hiei? Hiii-ieee... Oh, there you are. Why are you in the tree?" Hiei glared down at Kurama, and placed his hands on his hips.
"Do you ever stop talking? You stay down there. I'll get down once we get to... wherever. The place you said." Kurama shrugged and talked about his mother, his chemistry teacher, a puppet show he had seen on saturday morning cartoons, the growing alligator population, and monkeys in general. Hiei ignored Kurama. They arrived at the imposing brick building in time to see the Mime Parade. They would have seen the Mime Parade, that is, if Hiei had not made a grumbling noise in his stomach and licked his fangs in a way that was terrifying to behold. Kurama ushered Hiei to the automatic door.
"Okay, Hiei, we're almost inside. You can go first," Kurama said gently. Hiei scoffed and pushed ahead of his friend. As his foot touched the mat, the door pulled open with a whoosh. Hiei's mouth popped open and he scampered back behind Kurama.
"K'so! The door's alive!" Kurama blinked and strained his neck so he could see the demon directly behind him.
"No, it's not, Hiei, it's automatic."
Hiei glowered. "Feh. The last time a door opened like that I ended up smelling like iodine for six months and have never since had the entire use of my pinkie toes."
"Really? Woah, that's a story I'd like to hear!"
"Well, I'm not going to tell it to you," said Hiei, his eyes lowered dangerously. Kurama sighed.
"C'mon, Hiei, we're goin' in!" Kurama grabbed Hiei and flung him over his shoulder, and with a merry swing to his step made his way through the door and into the shopping center. He seemed oblivious to the sensation of Hiei pounding his back and kicking his chest. It would almost seem they had gone through this before...
"Okay, Hiei, let's go... there!" Kurama pointed to a shop among many, with a sign that proclaimed "Paradise lagoon... we guarantee you'll look 100% less revolting" Hiei scrutinized the sign, trying desperately to decipher the kanji so that he'd know what he was getting into. But Kurama was too intent of getting his little *friend* into the store to be considerate of Hiei's semi-literatness. Plus, it would hardly be easy on Hiei's ego to believe Kurama thought him revolting. Not that Kurama did; in fact Hiei could hardly be more attractive, with his finely tuned muscles outlined by the smoothest skin and a moderate tan... with his delicate though decidedly masculine hands... the way his voice seemed to speak on a level only he could hear... his...
"Okay, Inner Monologue, enough fantasizing for you." Kurama scolded.
Subdued, Inner Monologue quietly hummed botany and polite conversation. The service desk was vacant, so Kurama rung a little bell and waited patiently. Hiei stared at a gumball machine, willing the little pieces of heaven to dance, dance to him... damn, candy never did as he commanded. Kurama seemed to sense that Hiei would "accidentally" fwap the glass ball to immerse himself in candy, so he stepped "accidentally" on Hiei's little foot and smiled a tiny, evil smile as Hiei hopped about, glaring katanas at the bothersome, mettleing kitsune.
"Hello, sirs??" Kurama and Hiei froze and looked at the clerk with long brown hair and a big smile who was adorned in a red vest and a button that said "Meze." Hiei shoved his hands in his pockets. The bummy-yums would wait... he supposed.
"Um, well... yes. I'm here to get clothes for my friend here, and was wondering if you could--" Kurama heard a loud crash from behind the counter and a head with two red pigtails popped up. Her eyes darted back and forth, and faster than whiplash her head went back down. Kurama coughed. He stiffened as he realized that the sales clerk was cuddling up to him, as subtly as one can cuddle.
"Anyway, uh, I was thinking maybe you could get him to..." The head popped up again, and the same girl gasped and rolled over onto the desk, and fell with a thump to the floor. Not taking a moment, she stood straight and glared the one called Meze.
"Me-ze! You promised the next time a cutie came in here you'd tell me!" Meze put her hands on her hips.
"Aaahhh! Jaa-suut! He's not your type. Red hair and red hair don't match! Come on... you've said that yourself! Do not deny it!" Kurama facevaulted.
"Ai! And so it is true! Did you think you could keep the black-haired one from me?! I swear, Meze, you are so selfish!" Hiei facevaulted.
"Okay, well, you can have the short one but I've got the red head. 10 bonus points if you sell more than this week's quota, 20 if you score!" Meze whispered loudly. Hiei stared, absolutely still. Did normal people talk like this? What did it mean to "score?"
"You got it! C'mon, cutie, we're goin' to the jean department!" Jasut cackled, rubbing her hands deviously and dragging a reluctant Hiei away from Kurama, who was cheerfully waving goodbye.
"I'll see you in an hour at the entrance, okay Hiei?!" Hiei, whose feet were making squeaking noises on the floor, begged Kurama with his eyes to save him from the pig-tail wearing abductor. What fun! Now he could go to the Homes and Gardens department and see if they'd gotten the shipment of Chinese--
"Sweetheart, you have come to me just in time." Kurama looked down with a start to the brunette, who was feeling his pant leg. He brushed her hand away.
"What are you talking about? I didn't come here for me, I came to get clothes for my--" Meze stood on tiptoe and put a finger to his lips.
"Little brother yes I know but my partner just took care of him and you are definitely in need of my... services." Kurama backed away, but she kept advancing.
"He's not--"
"First of all, handsome men such as yourselves should show off your face, not hide it. And as for your clothing choice, pink is just not working for me..." Kurama bumped into a wall, and stared with terror at the girl... She pounced on him, and that was the last think Kurama saw for quite some time...
*some hours later*
"There now! You look great." Meze stepped back to view her handiwork. Kurama stood hunched over, wearing a black leather jacket and studded pants. His hair was twisted and braided and flung over his shoulder.
"Will that be cash, check, or visa?" she asked, with a huge grin.
"Visa," he sighed. The clerk became misty-eyed and she smiled tearfully.
"My work here is done." She snatched the visa from Kurama's limp hand and bounced behind the counter.
"Wait, there, Meze! I've got another one for you!" Kurama turned on his highheeled boot and saw the pigtailed girl grinning and tugging at an arm that could have only been Hiei's. Hiei tripped over his white boots and the tail flaps of his sailor suit flipped behind him.
"Isn't he so CUTE!?" Jasut asked, gushing over Hiei, who looked distant. She squealed and ran to Meze, who did not look amused.
"He looks like an idiot! How did you get him into that ridiculous outfit!?" she screamed. Kurama was about to ask the same thing. Hiei looked down at himself. He didn't look that ridiculous... he thought...
"I think he's adorable! And he had to wear it. We made a bet. And Meze!" her voice lowered to a stage whisper. "I scored!" Meze and Kurama's jaws dropped to the floor. Jasut, ignoring them, reached over to tickle Hiei. He did not seem to be enjoying himself.
"You... ? Well, Jasut, good for you. Though I'd have gone for someone tall--"
"You're so BAD at foosball, Hiei-chan!" the red-haired girl elbowed Hiei, who shrunk within himself.
"It's not my fault. I've never played." Meze stared throughout the whole exchange, and when Jasut had shrugged and begun cooing over Hiei, Meze walked up to her and took her by the shoulder.
"Jasut, honey, I don't think you quite understood what I meant by scoring." Jasut stopped cooing and cocked her head. "Come with me to the back room. I'll explain it to you," the shorter brunette continued. Kurama watched as Meze led Jasut behind the counter and into the back room. He walked up to Hiei, who was looking himself over.
"WHAT?! That's so SICK! Why would I do that? I love him!" Kurama heard Jasut yell. Kurama looked at Hiei. Hiei shrugged. The next moment Jasut and Meze started floating in the air and levitated there for a second.
"You're so dumb, Jasut," said Meze. The next moment, they zipped through the ceiling and were never again seen. Kurama looked back at Hiei.
"Does that happen to all the girls who say they love you, Hiei?"
"So far."
"Any how many would that be?"
"None of your concern."
"Okay, let's go see a movie!" Kurama suggested. Hiei "hn"ed and tried to stuff his hands into his pockets, but there were none in the sailor suit.
"Fine," Hiei finally said, giving up and letting his hands hang at his sides. Kurama grinned and took Hiei by the shoulder, and began the trip to the cinema. As he walked past the mall vendors, he received some strange looks. He blushed, stood straighter, and adjusted his black leather pants.
"Pervert," heard one of them mutter. Kurama lowered his head and pulled Hiei a little faster.
"Okay, Hiei, here we are. Cinema 9. What's playing..." he asked himself.
"Nothing I want to see," Hiei said. Kurama elbowed him.
"You can't read, silly." Hiei returned to silence.
"All right... "Never Been Kissed..." No, that looks a little boring... besides, I don't like those feel-good movies too much. I've got it, "10 Things I Hate About You" No... on second thought, ah! "The Candyman" is being re-released! You'll love it, Hiei, it's really scary and exciting. Okay?"
"Candy-man?"
"Yea, Candyman." Candy... Hiei's thoughts swiftly turned to puffballs, bummy-yums, lolly pops, and other such things.
"Candy..."
Kurama was speaking to the ticket vendor. Or, rather, not speaking, but shouting.
"YES, he's old enough! Would you... No, I don't have an ID, but you can check it out, my name is Minamino Shuuichi! ... Look in the internet student directory, damnit! ... No, I'm not one of those 'punk kids...' ... Yes I know the meaning of 'pediphile'! ... Oh, for God's sake!" Kurama turned away from the vendor, who was glaring fit to kill. Kurama's face wasn't bursting with sunshine either, actually.
"Well, Hiei, I guess the movie's off." Kurama leaned against the wall by which Hiei was sitting.
"Hn... does this mean... candy... well... okay..." Kurama sighed as he heard the disappointment in Hiei's voice.
"Well... unless... Hiei, do you think you can sneak into the theater?" he asked. Hiei's face twisted into a disgusted look.
"You think I would be not be able to sneak into some nigen entertainment center?" he asked, aghast.
"Well, sorry for being insensitive to your abilities. Anyway, the movie starts in a half an hour, so if we want to get in there before there's a crowd--- Hiei?" Kurama looked around, but Hiei had *zip!* disappeared. Kurama arched his neck to see Hiei standing atop a mock-lamppost on the steps leading down to the screens, grinning evilly. Kurama smirked. Two could join in this sport... *poof*
Somewhere, someone must have been mighty surprised to see a kawii little fox stand in the place a leather-donned teenager once stood, but frankly Kurama had more to think about. Like dashing into the theater before a certain fire demon could, for one.
Panting, the fox grinned. He had made it to second row center in record time, and the half-koorime was nowhere to be seen. Heh heh heh. He decided to have a little bath before Hiei got there. Wagging his tail, he bounded to the seat in front of him...
...on Hiei's head...
"Hello, little fox. Maybe you know where a certain overconfident, overtall, loudmouthed nigen ran off to?" Kurama looked frantically about... Escape... "No? Hn... then I have no use for you. Into the electrical box you go!" he said. Hiei, clamped a hand over Kurama's muzzle and swung him to and fro on the way to the electrical box. Opened the lid... dear God Hiei was crazy...
"Hey! You there! Get away from that!"
"...!"
"Oh, hi there kid. Did you loose your mom? Here, you sit down like a good boy and don't hurt your dog any more, okay? I'll go and look for your mother."
Hiei and Kurama, equally offended, debated whether to bite the man or to hit him with Hiei's katana. By the time the choice was made (they would bite AND hit him) the man was off in search of a mother for Hiei. Kurama wiggled out of Hiei's death grip and fell with a thump to the floor. He rolled over and made the change back to human, forgetting in his haste that he had left the leather jacket and pants at the cinema entrance. Hiei, unfazed by the random disrobing, reached his hands out and gave Kurama the clothes.
"Here, I picked them up on my way. Fox no baka... Did you plan on staying a furry animal the entire movie?"
Kurama growled. "Well, thanks..." he said as he buttoned the tight-fitting pants. He stuck his tongue out as he looked at the jacket. What had he been smoking when he bought this... at least the transformation rid him of the hairstyle. He nudged a tiny seed with his fingertips and it grew into a circled vine around his hair, binding it to a simple ponytail. The two chose their seats a little further back, to avoid running into the security person. More and more people began to filter in as the movie trivia popped onto the screen. Kurama congratulated himself as he knew each one, but the effect was lost once Hiei pointed how pathetic it was that he knew ALL the movie trivia. So Kurama sat back in his seat, and listened to Hiei fidget.
For the next twenty minutes Hiei tried to think of a way he could sneak into the lobby and steal all of the candy in the glass boxes where they were hidden.
"You really are obsessed with candy, aren't you Hiei?" asked Kurama. Hiei stared at Kurama.
"How did you--"
"You talk when you're scheming."
"... oh..."
"Well, you don't have to steal it, I'll just go and buy some for you."
Hiei's eyes brightened. But, as quickly as his happiness came, it left. "They won't sell it to you looking like that. They wouldn't sell you tickets before," Hiei said, a sigh in his voice.
"Well... I guess you're right. Here, trade me shirts," Kurama decided.
"How will that help? They'll go from thinking you're a punk to thinking you're a punk in a sailor shirt."
"... well, maybe it'll confuse them enough not to make a scene." Hiei pulled off his shirt and handed it to Kurama. The red head took off his shirt as well, and they handed them off. Kurama pulled the little sailor fuku over his hair. Curse Hiei for being so damn little... and Hiei adjusted the jacket thing. Ugh... what had Kurama been smoking when he bought this? Trying to make as little noise as possible, Kurama stepped over the already considerable crowd and made his way to the lobby. Once there, he gazed at the candies, wondering if he'd leave the mall that day with anything close to a surplus in his account. Ah, well. The line was longer than it needed to be so Kurama decided to put to use a little trick someone at school had told him about and scare the line-hoggers away.
"Hello, my little friend. How are you?" Out of nowhere, a little puppet on Kurama's hand bobbed up and down.
"Oh, you are hungry? Well, we are getting candy..." the puppet bobbed again. It was working.. most of the people were backing away.
"Oh, you say it is not candy you want... but flesh...? Hm, Mr. Puppet, that is not very nice... But... Maybe no one will notice if we just take a little bite of... " Kurama looked up, and there was no longer a line. Mission accomplished. The puppet disappeared and Kurama stepped up to the counter.
"Um... I'd like a box of butterfingers, and some skittles, and reeces pieces, and... um... do you have any bubble gum?" The candy guy nodded and clomped on some to illustrate.
"Well... some of that too." Kurama shook his head as he handed the worker his credit card and heard the painful sound of more money, burning into the void that was Hiei. He turned around and found, to his disappointment, that the movie had already started. He excused himself and climbed back to the seat next to Hiei.
"Hiei, I brought you some---"
"Shut up, he's gonna hook 'im!" Kurama turned his eyes to the screen. He watched as the unfortunate man washed his hands and was, indeed, hooked. "DAMIT, YOU IDIOT! You don't just go saying 'candyman' into a mirror after people get killed!" Hiei screamed. Kurama coughed and Hiei turned to him, eyes blazing.
"Did you see that?? Now they're gonna think it was the son of that guy who got murdered who killed the other guy and the other guy's gonna die too! I--"
"Hiei!" Kurama hissed.
"What!"
"Listen, we're in a theater, and the people around us are trying to watch too. Could you quiet it down?" Hiei scowled.
"Nuh-uh, the people behind us are making out." Kurama looked at the people behind them. So they were. Kurama was about to say something placating to make Hiei hush up and sit quiet, but Hiei turned around and leaned against his seat, and began speaking to the offenders.
"Why are you doing that? I mean, I know why you're doing that, it's pretty obvious, but this is a movie. Don't you want to watch the movie?" Hiei asked. The couple parted faces and were probably about to say something mean. But Kurama pulled Hiei down to the seat and growled at him, and the kissing people went back to what they were doing.
"Do you mind, Hiei? Please, watch the movie. Please?" Hiei crossed his arms and sat at the edge of his seat, still whispering commands to the morons doing stupid things that, if they had been him, could have completely been avoided. Kurama sunk into his seat.
Hiei was comparatively good for some time, too engrossed in the movie to even eat the candy. Of course, once he smelled it on the breath of a conniving fox who certainly did not deserve it, he snatched it all and made short work of the delicious stuff. Then, for a while after that, he was on too much of a sugar high to make any trouble. But, once he saw the lead woman fall down the cellar...
"AHH!! Don't go down there! HE'S down there! You've gotta kill 'im!"
"Hiei.."
"NO! BREAK THE MIRROR! He wants to kill you so that you can kill more people!"
"Hiei!"
"NOOO!!!"
"HIEI!"
"JA OU ENSATSU-" Kurama grabbed the front of Hiei's... er... jacket and shook him very, very hard. Hiei, once his teeth had ceased rattling, grabbed Kurama's hand and pushed it away.
"WHAT?!"
"Hiei, you are being extremely rude, if you have to do the black dragon thing you'll have to whisper."
"But.. I can't do it *whispering*!"
"Then, I guess you'll just have to refrain," Kurama said, settling into his seat and watching as the woman figured out she needed to break the mirror on her own power. Hiei resumed his seat, and tried whispering ja ou snsatsu ken a few times, but the effect just wasn't there. The candy man jumped out at the woman one more time, and Hiei bit his lip and grabbed Kurama's hand. Kurama held it, thinking that perhaps this make up for the screaming madness before. Water rushed and the woman fell in. Hiei's grip tightened. Yep. The movie ended. Hiei sat in his seat, mindless of the people that were trying to get around him, and looked to be trying at contemplation.
"Kurama..."
"Yea?"
"That movie wasn't really about candy."
"Nope! I guess it wasn't!"
Hiei glared. He stood up and zipped out of the theater. Kurama jumped up and followed, catching up outside of the lobby.
"Why did you lie to me?" Hiei asked, seeing Kurama.
"I didn't lie to you!" Kurama protested.
"... well, you misled me." Hiei pouted. Kurama figured that Hiei just wanted to be difficult and walked in silence.
"...but..." Hiei grumbled, "It was pretty good."
Kurama smiled. They walked out of the theater and then out of the mall, where photographers and paparazzi were snapping where the two salesclerks had disappeared, and then made their way out of the automatic door with decisively less resistance.
They settled into a relaxed gait, the nighttime blackness not a factor with their trained eyesight. Hiei followed Kurama into his room, and sat cross-legged while Kurama changed into something less hideous, in the range of a night shirt and boxers. He tossed Hiei an old Ohio State t-shirt.
"Here, Hiei, I have no idea where I got this. It won't fit, but it's better than what you're wearing now," Kurama yawned.
"Well, thank you. I mean, today was... fun." Hiei mumbled as he took off the jacket and popped his head through the t-shirt's opening. Kurama crawled into bed and flicked off the light.
"Yea, I had fun too. Mom's gonna have a fit when I tell her how much money I managed to spend today, though," Kurama said, with images of red, burning eyes and a suspension of credit. Gods, Hiei was one expensive guy. Kurama turned to see what Hiei might have to say in response, but to no avail. Hiei was curled in a ball, asleep at the foot of Kurama's bed, something he never did unless one of them was deathly sick or a hurricane was raging outside.
...Yes, today was definitely worth it.
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