Save the Best for Last
by Moerae
Hello, minna-san!
Yes, I have been working. ^^;; I'm not total slacker. Well... pretty close though, but not quite. =p I've been kinda working on my page (and lots and lots of thanks goes to everyone who has given me permission and special thanks goes to Lori-san!!! ^o^ Arigato gozaimasu minna-san! ) so.... ::sweatdrop:: Anyway this is songfic that I have promised to Siew Lee-chan for her PPF. ^o^ And this one centers on Kurama and Hiei-chan which obviously means it is yaoi, ne? Got not that much angst and no, it doesn't have anyone dying other than those who has already died. =p And Sayuri doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Siew Lee-chan. ^^ I DO respect her ownership and got her permission prior to it so please if you do want to use her then please ask Siew Lee-chan first!!! Hope you guys enjoy it, ne? And Siew Lee-chan I'm sorry for messing up the wonderful fic like this. ::sweatdrop:: Ja ne!
~Moerae
p.s. Those who are just in case curious I have finished about half of part 14 of Innocence. ^^;; Finals this week and next week so it might take little longer, but then I'll finish it soon. Even if it kills me. =p And you can find HTML version of the fic at http://rivendell.fortunecity.com/lufia/944/save_best_for_last.html
Save the Best for Last
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[Sometimes the snow comes down in June, sometimes the sun goes around the moon]
"Tousan! It’s snowing!!! Can I go out please? Onegai?" Sayuri cheerfully runs up to Hiei and hugs him tight. She knows so well that Hiei can’t resist her when she looks at him wobbly eyed like that. And Hiei blushing is a sight not to be missed. Even after all these years… he simply can’t get used to being called ‘tousan.
[I see the passion in your eyes, sometimes it’s all the big surprise]
The scene that spreads itself before my very eyes is… beautiful.
Snow… so soft and pure like the feathers of angel wings covering the earth… cleanses away all pain… all of our sins of the past… everything, so that we may free ourselves from the iron clutches of the cruel Fates….
And finally return to where we truly belong….
[There was time when all I did was wish you’d tell me this was love]
I’ve never thought I would be able to find it….
A place that I could finally call ‘home’.
Yes… ‘kassan was first one who made me realize that I was lacking something…. Something that I hadn’t even realized that I had lost during my long existence as Youko Kurama.
And I would eternally grateful to her for that one thing… for she has given me reason to start searching.
And now… I have found ‘them’.
Hiei and Sayuri… only ones who can make this lonely world my… ‘home’.
[It’s not the way I hoped or how I planned but somehow it’s love]
I guess… maybe this is what people call ‘love’.
No one can define it… yet everyone craves for it even without realizing it….
Just a blind chase… but few people manage to catch it….
And I think I have caught such warmth too… maybe insignificant to others... but to me... it is worth everything.
So... I'm not ever letting it go. Without it... I'm just a lifeless doll....
[But now we’re standing face to face]
"Kurama… why are you just standing there? Are you sick?" Hiei approaches me with a slightly worried look in his ruby eyes….
"Nothing… Hiei… don’t worry about it, okay?" I smile reassuringly and offer him my hand….
And a little hesitantly he takes my hand into his own small one…..
For this short, yet precious moment… we shed tears… we’ve given ourselves to pain….
But because we’re here together now… even these memories become our treasures.
[Isn’t this world the crazy place]
A long time ago, I thought that if I painted this world in color it would be dark gray….
Because… the only thing the world had given me until then was only pain.
But now… in return for all the pain it has given me… it has also gifted me with its most precious jewel….
A little light called love….
[Just when I thought our chance has passed you go and save the best for last]
It took a long way to get here, where we are… but we know this is not an end, but merely another beginning.
However… I no longer have to travel alone….
…Arisa… thank you… and I’m sorry.
I sincerely wish you would be one of the fortunate ones who will see the light….
And I hope that through that light you’ll be able to see the world once again….
For you have helped me find my light….
[All of the nights you came to me]
Kurama….
When I saw him standing like that in the middle of a white snow field by himself… I for once believed in angels….
Some humans… they said demons are actually fallen angels… and maybe they’re right.
Perhaps… Kurama is one of those who have fallen from the heights of Heaven.
Maybe… he is crying for the Heaven that is lost to him. Because… I think I’m the one who has taken away his wings….
[Some silly girl set you free, you’d wonder how you would make it through]
Botan… I wonder if this is what you meant when you said I should go on after you left….
Did you want me to forget you…?
Did you want me to set you free…?
Why…?
Did… you love me?
Did I love… you?
[I wonder what was wrong with you]
Sometimes… when I’m alone… I wonder why I have chosen you over Kurama during those bleak years….
I still don’t know why….
Botan… you said you loved me… but can you tell me why?
Or is there no explanation to begin with…?
[Cause how could you give your love to someone else and share your dreams with me]
Kurama was my friend… he was the only one who understood me deep inside. Yet… I have chosen to love you….
You were the exact opposite image of me.
If I was Death… then you were Life.
How ironic, isn’t it? You who boasted of your existence as Death was the one who truly knew how to live.
[Sometimes the very thing you are looking for is the one thing you can’t see]
Maybe… that’s why I chose you.
Perhaps… I envied you. Maybe I thought if I had your love… I would be able to share the abundant life you held in your possession.
Because… sometimes it gets too lonely….
[But now we’re standing face to face]
Kurama….
I was reminded too much of myself whenever I gazed into his eyes.
Hauntingly deep emerald eyes that held as much pain as my own….
I think I was too afraid to be reminded that I was hurting inside….
He is like a mirror for my soul. When I look at him… I see a piece of myself. And what I see is not a warrior but just a coward….
The biggest coward of all… for I have once chosen to flee from Life.
And it… frightens me.
[Isn’t this world the crazy place]
But now… I think I’m beginning to understand….
It’s just a small understanding… but for now it is enough to keep me going and accept Kurama.
I can’t flee from reality. I have first chosen an indifferent mask to protect myself… then when it didn’t work… I have chosen you as a refuge.
Now that you’re gone… and finally I see a glimpse of the truth.
[Just when I thought our chance has passed you go and save the best for last]
That only I can save myself….
And to do that… I need Kurama. He is the only one who will accept me as who I am. He is the only one whom I can be perfectly honest with.
Only with him can I take off my mask….
And he is the only who gives me enough courage to take one more step into the realm of Life….
[Sometimes the very thing you are looking for is the one thing you can’t see]
Maybe… the things we have been looking for… things that we have been craving all our lives were just waiting for us to find them….
[Sometimes snow comes down in the June, sometimes the sun goes around the moon]
"Hiei-tousan! Kurama-tousan! Look what I have for you!!!" Sayuri runs up to us, and she presents us with single perfect white rose.
[Just when I thought our chance has passed, you go and save the best for last]
We can only stare at it as she chirps in childish happiness. "Sayuri… why did you choose a white rose?"
[You went and saved the best for last]
"Because tousan, I want the happiness that you found in each other to continue untainted… as pure as this white rose. I want you to be happy." Sayuri smiles innocently and behind her… we see two images.
Arisa… Botan… is this what you have wanted…?
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