When You Say Nothing At All
by Manille
The sweet music of the seaside breeze hummed gently inside Urameshi Yusuke’s ear, warming his body and soul with serenity and happiness. His eyes traveled from the sea foam that touched his feet timidly, to the golden setting sun that tinted the boundless sea before him, to the girl who sat beside him quietly.
The girl—she gazed far out, her sepia-colored eyes sparkling like priceless gems. A slight smile touched her pink lips, constantly parting as if to taste the saltiness of the air.
It’s amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may, I can never explain
What I hear when you don’t say a thing….
She looks beautiful. She is tilted in such a way that I could only see half of her face and that the features of her face are clearly defined.
Her damp hair falls neatly across her shoulders, each long strand reflecting the rays of sunlight that poured on it. Time had indeed flown so fast. When was the last time I saw her? Perhaps three years ago?
She now looks so different. She has grown a few inches taller, and so has her once-short hair. She moves with a lot of poise, more finesse and more confidence.
But as I look into her eyes, there she is—the caring, strong-willed friend I have always known.
Keiko had always been my source of strength, my reason to live. I had been through a lot of near-death experiences—in fact, I had died twice before, but I was reincarnated—but I knew I couldn’t die because she is waiting for me. She is my friend, my devil’s advocate, my cheerleader, my life-giver.
This world is full of evil, but I know this isn’t the nature of human. We are all good beings. I see this as I look deep into her beautiful eyes. The truth lies within. Deep in her heart is a vibrant spirit that is so tender and affectionate yet is likewise patient and courageous. So many times I had gone away, but she never lost the hope that I’ll come back—for her.
My life, I must admit, is full of fighting for peace between the three worlds. But whenever I see her, I find peace within me, and an unexplainable feeling overcomes me.
Yes, it’s true. Love does work strangely. Who would have thought an intelligent, responsible girl like Keiko will like this pigheaded truant? It is really strange.
But I love her.
I love her face, her wits, her courage and her character. I even love her weaknesses and faults. I don’t know why, but I do.
As I look at her now, I can feel her heart—as it beats rhythmically with mine—whisper the same thing I’m feeling.
All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Try as they may, they can never define
What’s being said between your heart and mine….
I can feel what she’s thinking even without her saying anything.
When we were younger, she kissed me to breathe life back to my dead body. Whenever I went from mission to mission afterwards, there she was, praying that I’d be safe. She took care of my alter ego, Pu, and me affectionately.
Then I left her—again. For three years, we were a world apart. I wasn’t able to see her face for such a long time, to feel her touch or even her extremely painful slap. I missed everything about her terribly.
While I was away, I went through a tournament. I almost lost my life again in there, but the memory of my promise to her put my feet down on the ground once more.
My promise.
Before I went away, I promised her that I’ll come back after three years…and marry her. I knew that it was painful for her to see me go away again, but I had to go. I had to face Raizen and trail my footsteps back.
Now I know that I’m not a complete human being. I’m a half-youkai, a Netherworld entity.
A thought crosses the back of my mind. What if Keiko learns about it? Will she like me for what I am?
However, I know that I don’t have to ask.
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There’s a truth in your eyes saying you’ll never leave me
The touch of your had says you’ll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all….
Keiko turns to face me slowly. Her face lights up. I smile back, feeling my heart beat faster.
"I’ve been watching you for several moment now, Yusuke," she says, chuckling softly. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
I shake my head. "I was just thinking about you."
Her smile widens. She searches my face for a second longer, then trains her eyes back on the sea.
The reminiscence of her kiss a while ago sends shivers to my heart. It has been three years since I left her, and now, I’m back. I found her, along with Kuwabara, Yukina, Kurama, Shizuru and Botan, in this beach. As I approached them, I saw her standing alone, looking at the sea plaintively. Then I heard her yell to the sea, "Yusuke, please come back! I can’t wait longer than three years!"
The melancholy expression on her face nearly broke my heart. She had waited for me. She never forgot me. I smiled, thinking about how desperate I had felt that day, too, when I crossed the border of the Makai and the Ningenkai. As I stepped on the human world, the first person in my mind was she.
"You don’t have to wait any longer," I spoke.
Keiko turned to look at me. We gazed at each other for a long time, her face a mixture of expressions I couldn’t explain. I finally saw her again!
Then, before I knew it, she ran up to me and pinned me on the ground. The impact of my back hitting the sand was an awful blow, but as I opened my eyes, I saw her sweet face looking down on me. I felt my heart skip a beat as I realized that her body was lying on top of mine. She was so close; her breath caressed my lips like the warm sea breeze itself.
Then she leaned closer. I felt her lips touch mine. I closed my eyes, savoring the sweetness of her kiss. I opened my eyes for a while, as I was quite surprised by the suddenness of the event. But I finally gave in to her kiss. I kissed her back, holding her closer to my body.
Then, without warning, a huge wave crashed on both of us. When the water subsided, we found ourselves sitting on the sand, quite dazed. Both of us laughed.
I smile as I remember the events of the afternoon. She is here now, finally here by my side again.
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There’s a truth in your eyes saying you’ll never leave me
The touch of your had says you’ll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all….
"Keiko," I whisper, leaning close to her ear.
"Hmm?"
"You’ve changed…a lot," I say.
She looks at me. She frowns a little, as if searching my face again.
"That’s what you think," she replies. "I’ve never changed. Physically, perhaps, but I didn’t change."
"Yes. I know."
She reaches up to touch my hair. She parts my bangs gently and tucks them behind my ear. "You’ve changed a lot too. But"—she now looks deep into my eyes—"you’re still you."
She touches my cheeks now. Her voice drops into something softer than a whisper. "Your eyes…."
I take her hand and caress it. "Keiko…"
"Yes?"
"Keiko, will you…will you marry me?"
I look at her seriously. Her eyes widen a bit, but gradually, they softened. Her lips curl upwards once more. "Isn’t this too sudden?"
I clutch her hand tighter. "We’ve waited for this moment for such a long time, Keiko." I took her other hand and join it with her other. I hold them both tightly. "Will you?"
The edges of her eyes crinkle beautifully as she grins. "Of course I’ll marry you, Yusuke."
I take a deep breath and smile slowly. She has accepted me. I feel myself rising with an unexplainable bliss. In an impulse, I hug her tightly, breathing in the thick mass of her brown hair.
"Thank you, Keiko. Thank you," I say in her hair.
"But Yusuke…we must wait first. We’re only eighteen."
I embrace her closer. "Yes. Of course! Of course, we’ll wait!"
I feel Keiko’s arms wrap around me. "Yusuke…thank you."
"Thank you, Keiko."
We hug for a long moment. I close my eyes, appreciating the warmth emancipating from her body. Isn’t this what I had always wanted through all the years I’ve spent with her? It’s here now.
Then she loosens her grip around me and looks at my face. I frown, as her face shows a sign of sadness. "Is something wrong?" I ask her.
"Yusuke…are you…going to leave me again?"
I keep quiet. Hadn’t I told Raizen in his tomb that I’ll come back after three years to join in the Makai tournament again?
Keiko must be seeing what is in my mind, for her face falls dejectedly. Pools of tears brim in her eyes.
"Must you go, Yusuke?" she asks, her voice shaking.
Must I?
What will I get when I join that tournament? The rule over the Makai?
I’m only eighteen. I don’t know anything about dominion. And what happiness will I get if I become king?
Wealth?
Power?
Do those things really bring happiness?
I look at Keiko’s wistful face. I’ll lose her if I go away. I’ll miss her terribly…again.
I know the pain of missing her too well. And I don’t want to feel it again.
I may be half-youkai, but my heart is in the Ningenkai. It’s my home, it’s where I belong. Besides, the Reikai can always call me if they need help. I need not become a king to keep the peace in the three worlds.
And I need Keiko. I love her.
The answer is so simple.
I smile slowly. "I’ll never, ever leave you again, Keiko. Never again."
Two beads of tears fall down Keiko’s cheeks. "You promise that?"
I wipe her tears away with my thumb. "Yes."
A soft, giggling sound escapes her throat. She grins widely, showing off a perfect set of white teeth.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"Why…why did you really have to go to the Makai? I mean, you do not belong there, right? Because you’re a human."
There.
I swallow and clear my throat. I know that this is going to be a tough statement. "Do you remember what I told you about the new Yusuke?"
"Yes…"
"Well, the real difference between the old Yusuke and the new one is that…I’m…now…half-youkai."
Keiko raises a questioning brow.
"I’m not completely human," I continue softly. "Within me lies the soul of a youkai. It was released when I died…you know, for the second time."
Keiko shakes her head. "I don’t understand…"
I clear my throat once more. "How about that ugly long-haired Yusuke you saw going out of the cave in Mushiyori City? Do you remember that?"
Comprehension dawns on Keiko’s face. "That is your youkai form," she concludes.
I nod curtly.
I brace myself, waiting for the inevitable reaction. As much as I knew that it will be all right for her, I had to play safe.
After a moment, Keiko chuckles. "That’s all?"
I am a bit surprised with that reaction.
"Yusuke, you know that whatever kind of creature you are, you are still the same to me. Didn’t I say that just a while ago? You’re still you."
Keiko’s words touch my soul. I knew it. I knew it will be okay with her. Even without her saying anything, I know the answer.
I find myself envelop Keiko in another hug. I press my forehead against hers, staring deep into her eyes. Then I seal my lips on hers.
I’ll never leave her. Never again.
The sweet music of the seaside breeze hum gently inside my ear, warming my body and soul with serenity and happiness. Or is it the feel of Keiko beside me that sends serenity and happiness flowing through my being? Isn’t it the knowledge of Keiko’s trust in me that makes me feel this way?
Keiko, I love you. You don’t have to say a thing to let me know that you love me too. I know it already.
You say it best….when you say nothing at all.
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Disclaimer: When You Say Nothing At All is sung by Allison Krauss, revived by Ronan Keating of Boyzone and is written by Don Schlitz and Paul Overstreet. Ronan's version of the song can be heard in the soundtrack of Notting Hill, Boyzone's By Request (the Greatest Hits album), and his forthcoming album. Published by…do you need to know? Anyway, it's my favorite song at the moment.
Another disclaimer: All Yu Yu Hakusho characters are © Yoshihiro Togashi and etc. etc. Please don't sue me for any reason…I'm still studying in school…I'm just a poor high school student. 09/28/99 in the middle of a high fever…