Hole
There's a hole in the wall. Splattered with thick red
blood and bits of flesh. Is it yours or is it his? I just
painted these walls. For your birthday. But it's nothing a
few hours with a sponge and a little spackle won't fix. Why
aren't you answering me? Ah. I can see you trying. Your
mouth opening. But no words. Just little kisses in the
air. Like a butterfly.
Bitch, why don't you die?! Your boyfriend's done it.
He's even starting to smell. Stained the sheets, too, with
piss and blood. You'll have to do something about that.
You're better with laundry than I am. I never got the hang
of that. Remember the time I tried washing your favorite
dress? We couldn't even sell it at a yard sale after that.
I never knew what a dryer could do to clothing.
Is it hot in here? Are you hot? No. I bet you're
feeling pretty cold now. Not much blood left in you. You'd
die if you saw the carpet. Get it? Die? Ha ha ha. Oh. I
see. You've lost your sense of humor, too. You're just not
the same girl I used to know.
I really never thought you were capable of this.
Never. At all. Shows what I know. Things were going well.
Weren't they? No. Apparently not. And this doesn't help
matters.
We just had an anniversary. Our 4th. We went out.
Remember? Or is that memory somewhere on the floor? I'd
find it for you if I could. Was a good memory. We had fun.
Ate. Danced. Fucked like chimps all night long. You said
you loved me. Said you loved the way I made you feel. The
way I kissed. My eyebrows.
His aren't better. Did you like his ass?
Oh, don't look at me like that. I wasn't the cheating
one. I didn't do anything wrong. You caused all this.
Yeah, you did, so just stop. You deserved it. You ruined
it. Life was fine before now.
You still look good, you know. I know this is
something you'd like to know. You always worry about your
appearance. The hole in your head doesn't do much for me,
but overall, you're still beautiful. In fact, if it weren't
for the hole in your head and your bloody boyfriend, I'd
probably take you back right now.
I can pull the trigger again, you know. Make you die.
Make you stop looking at me like that. I can do it. Bet
you didn't think I could. Bet you know now.
I can't believe it. All you could say was, "It's not
what you think it is." I'm not stupid. What else can it be
when a guy's got his cock in you? A dental exam? Hope you
enjoyed yourself, honey. Was he really better than me.
Shit. I thought I was pretty damn good. That's what you
said. Bet he was good. Were you thinking of him? On your
birthday. When it was good. When you smiled. When I held
you in my arms.
Will I miss you? I've always wondered. If someone I
love dies. Will I miss them. I guess I'll find out. Or
maybe not. Don't think I wanna know. God, you fucked up my
life, you know that? If you hadn't done this, we'd be
happy. Together. Not like this.
And you're still alive. What's keeping you here?
You're white. The floor's been painted with you. Like our
walls. My walls. I painted them for you.
Die, please! I don't want to ruin your looks.
You know. You're all I've got. For now. Then
nothing. This is one big fucking armageddon. Him. You.
Me. The end.
Life without you. No. I don't think so. Not for me.
You should've thought twice before doing this to me.
Leaving me alone. You know I hate it. You know I thought
the world of you. Loved you.
Maybe so. Maybe not.
Life's a bed of roses. Thorns intact.
I wonder how lead tastes. Or if I can taste it.
That's what you're waiting for. Why you're still alive.
Why you're looking at me like that. You want me to eat
this.
Was this a plan of yours? A plot. To watch me die.
Was it because I ruined your best dress? Or because I
wrecked the car? No. Don't say anything. Don't even nod.
I know.
So it's a bullet for breakfast. Not my favorite. I'd
rather have pancakes. But you know what's best. You've
always known what's best...
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