UGMA/OLA War Chronicles -- Chapter 3

Date: Fri, 10 Jan 1997 04:40:53 -0800 (PST)
To: ranma@usagi.jrd.dec.com
From: Insane-kun
Subject: Insane Final Attack!

Ted typed(alliteration!):
< Ted has Insane-kun backed into a dark, damp, ally. The big ass spork glissened in the moonlight. A black trechcoat and hat hide the avenger's figure and face. With a heavy leather gloved hand he hold a fistful of razorblades. He closes in. "Now," he dictates in a low monotone 'I shall silence that rude mouth of yours." He begins to walk towards Insane-kun. The footsteps resonate through the alley. "Taiwanese Proverb; If hole leak," he quotes as he holds forth the sharp pieces of metal. "plug it up." He stuffs the spork handle into Insane-kun's mouth and uses it to hold the victim's mandible open as he inserts the fist of blades closer towards the tender orfice. As Insane-kun is about to get a mouthful of steel realization hits. "Wait ten seconds! I have a raving band of Ukyou lovers?" >

Insane-kun, realizing that Ted has forgotten to tie my hands, takes a mallet(borrowed from Enaka), and readies it. Then, while Ted's ego grows from his belief he has a raving band of Ukyou lovers, Insane-kun sees his chance, and removes the spork from his mouth. "No, not really." The mallet cuts through the air, making no sound, and lands squarely on the head of Ted(heehee). Ted, however does not fall. Insane-kun remembers that Ted, born in the highlands of Scotland, can only be killed by having his head removed from his body. So, Insane-kun declares, in a primal scream: "Insane Final Attack! Neko-revenge!"

"What?"

"Sham-poo-oo!"

"Insane! Nihao!" Shampoo looks at Ted. "Hey, you. Insane tell Shampoo that you no like her. You like Spatula Slut."

"Ohhhh no," utters Ted, suddenly coming to the full understanding of the Neko revenge.

"If you no like Shampoo, then Shampoo no like you! Hi-yahhh!" The last /Pthing Ted sees is the bottom of Shampoo's shoe.

"I defeat you now!" Insane-kun now pours water on Shampoo, turning her into neko-Shampoo.

"Meow!" neko-Shampoo begins to claw at Ted's neck until it is separated from his body. Then a whole bunch of lightning comes around and... well, you get the idea.

BTW, this post was not meant to be as violent as it was. I just got carried away. And, does anyone recognize the term "Spatula Slut"?

ll\_\_\_
llllllll\_ooooooooHater of the Infernal Dance
llllllllll\_ ooooooll"Hey, check this out!"
llllllll\_\_\_NSANE-KUN
http://www.oocities.org/SouthBeach/1011/