One of the reasons I have decided to focus on Hmong women's role is to acknowledge the structural inequality of Hmong women in the Hmong society and incorporate at least some of the reasons why this type of structure exist. A second reason is my own desire to understand better the choices that we, as Hmong women, have. Being a young Hmong woman, I see the circumstances surrounding our lives are frequently not of our own choosing. For example, choosing an education or securing a job.
In retrospect, one primary obstacle is that a woman's place is in the home and to take care of the children. Since the Hmong value the family as the most important, this belief has been deeply embedded into the minds of Hmong women. They accepted the notion that their task of citizenship was to be good mothers and impart moral virtue to their children. The men might pursue a variety of activities, for example, make decisions between clan members, go to school, or build a career. Hmong women, however, did not actively participate in decision making or go to school, let alone be allowed to develop mental maturity. They do not maintain as much right as their husbands, and they can not pretty much do whatever they please. In other words, they do not act independently without the presence of their husbands. They only performed nothing but menial household tasks. Inevitably, this economic way of life not only dulled Hmong women's minds but limited their horizons.
Another fact is that Hmong women tend to believe that they must marry while they're still young. Hmong girls were found to have the youngest average age of marriage, ranging from 13 to 18 years of age (Hutchinson, 16). Generally, women mature faster than men. Therefore, Hmong men prefer to marry someone who's still young or has just grown up (reached the age of teen years). Why? Because when she have many children she will appear to be less attractive and desirable. Hmong girls are afraid that if they wait longer, they won't be able to find a suitable partner. As Hmong women marry at a young age, they move directly from childhood into responsibilities of adulthood. Parental responsibilities begin at a very young age when she begin raising her own family.
A third reason why Hmong women married so young is that most marriages were negotiated between the families of the young people (as it still continues in the United States among some Hmong families. Back in Laos, couples do not usually court, "fall in love", and get married.) The families who select their spouses believed that love would develop between the couples as they build their lives together. In such cases, neither gender have much to say about the marriage, despite the fact that they don't agree on the arranged marriage. However, the men can marry a second wife of his own choosing. As long as he doesn't divorce the first wife. Divorce is not an option to either person, and it is usually difficult. Even though she is unhappy, she is afraid to say anything because she does not want to disgrace her family and clan members. She is expected to obey and bear every wrong without complaint.
So far, we have seen at least three primary reasons how Hmong women were treated in traditional Hmong society. In my opinion, they were helpless creatures that could not enjoy the full status of mature persons and the freedom to pursue an education and any career for which they have a talent. Instead, they're molded to be a "superwoman," who could only marry and have children, and take on the tasks of nurturing their families, obedience to their husbands and have the responsibility to abide by cultural norms.
Today, however, individual Hmong women have the opportunity to go to school. The rapidly growing Hmong female students in colleges and universities highlights this truth. Most Hmong women liberated themselves from domestic chores and marriages, to pursue their individual desires and join as equal participants in all areas of life. Even though, some Hmong women marry before they complete high school or while in college, they continue to pursue their education or hold jobs that are not necessarily confined to the home. At the same time, they take responsibilities of nurturing their families.
While it is true that more and more Hmong women are entering the education and work force, Hmong women still have to cope with these cultural assumptions. Some Hmong girls still feel that they will not be able to find someone if they wait too long. Most Hmong men will not marry someone who has the same level of education or a college degree as they do. They feel these women represent a powerful force for social change and transformation, because their success would make them too independent and less submissive and reluctant to agree. Their power to control and make decisions are challenged, thus making them less inclined to get involved with Hmong women of such stature. Every once in a while, Hmong men are going to Laos or Thailand to find themselves a wife.
Despite these reasons, most importantly I feel that we, as Hmong women, must not let these dated norms discourage the growth of an independent woman's right to participate in mainstream society. Age is not a factor that we should be concern about when considering marriage. If in any case, we can not find a suitable partner within our own group, we have the option of other ethnic cultures. Hmong women are beginning to take control of their lives. The knowledge of education, working with cultural awareness, and accepting changes will allow us to find our way in the world. Hmong women have been individuals shaped, consciously or unconsciously, to fit into established slots in our social system for too long. We have the economic opportunities and education qualifications to create a life that combines professional achievement and personal fulfillment in a way that has never been available to our mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers. Overall, we "open" the door for other Hmong girls and women.
This article was written in 1993 for a Human Relations and the Humanities: Cultural Diversity class when I was a student attending the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay.
Personal Interview (1993). Yang H Moua. Manitowoc, WI.
Ray Hutchison is a professor and chair-person of the Urban and Regional Studies and Sociology Studies.