The Life and Times of
Acid Drop-311
A documentary of a girl who found out that life is a drug...and became an addict.
The Life and Times of
Acid Drop-311
A documentary of a girl who found out that life is a drug...and became an addict.
Part 1 - Genesis
It's a tough thing to be alive. After all there are just so many things that test your ability to keep a grip on the soul you've been given. Those that can hold out until the end are the ones that get the prize, those that don't...don't. I haven't always had an understanding of this. In fact I'll go one step further and admit a concept as simple as the above has only hit me within the last few years. But before all that...in the beggining, times were simple. I was born to a young programmer by the name of Takei and his wife Noriko, in a small hospital(barely more than a clinic from what I've seen of it) in Osaka, Japan on the great day of September 9, 1979. The living was simple, and in no time flat I had accomplished my first goal as the youngest of 4 children and become a total nuisance to all of my older siblings. After accomplishing this, I settled into everyday life in Japan, going to school, etc. My father soon left Japan after I was born, and headed for America to start a new job working for a software company called IBM(ever heard of it?). I stayed in Japan with my mother and oldest sister for about another year or so and eventually my father sent us all tickets to fly over and get all immigrated into the United States. I can't say I was happy to leave, after all I love Japan with a passion, but oh well.
Fast forwarding a few years, and we come to me at 15 years of age, and a whole HELL of a lot less docile. To put it mildly, I was getting into nearly everything I had always known to be "wrong". Liqour, drug abuse, sex, you name it. My rules were "anything goes", and I would make damn sure no one was mistaken. This brings to mind more than a few occaisions where substance abuse can be both hilarious and recreational/experimental, and also harmful, violent, and life threatening. One such case was when I was at a party with my sister Ayumi and a few friends. It started out like a usual day, with me, Ayumi, Joy, Psychochik(you know, I've never understood why they call her that, she's so quiet...), Mark, Greg, Chris and a few other folks just skateboarding around out by a nearby construction site. It was always one of my favorite places to go. Hardly any lame ass cops hasseling us, I could sit, write a few entries in my diary while watching my friends skate, then jump into the fray and go savage in our 'home made' skate park. Home made, you ask? It just means that we sort of made our own custom park, dragging pieces of plywood, rolling big cement tubes, and other stuff into a sort of enclosed area out at the edges of the site. The manager or whatever you call him had even been cool about it, saying that as long as we only took stuff they weren't using, and didn't vandalize anything he didn't care(of course, if one of us got hurt goofing around there he'd never heard of us, but that's understandble). We'd spent countless afternoons there, and had countless times left there and gone to some party, but this time, and this party, turned out to be a bit different.....
Part 2 - Gemini
Me and Ayumi went with everyone else on over to the party, following them on Ayumi's motorcycle. Well, sort of Ayumi's motorcycle(let's just say she had a boyfriend that was highly susceptable to ummm..."suggestion" hehe). But anyway, the party was supposed to be live as a strip club on New Year's, so we weren't about to miss it. Me and Ayumi arrived fashionably late after picking up some last minute items like liqour and acid. Ayumi walked in and threw her arms in the air, along with 3 bottles of Segram's Gin and promptly recieved a welcome rivaling Norm's on "Cheers". I walked in and threw up a medium sized mysterious brown bag, and got a more subtle but VERY eager welcome. After that it was nothing short of a kick ass time.
The nite wore on, and the amount of liqour, acid, and weed I'd taken into my system had grown exponentially. To put it mildly, I was feelin' pretty damn good. Pretty good of course, except for the fact that I still for some warped reason couldn't get the attention of a certain fine young gentleman that shall remain nameless. Finally I got high and drunk enough that feminine shyness got thrown to the dogs, and went on over into the room where I knew my prey lay unknowing his fate. I walked in and paused a minute, then gave praise to Jerome(the owner of the house) who sat high as a kite in a room aglow with the cool, laid back images from the blue lava lamp. They all sat in a circle on pillows, some with hoods pulled up, looking like druids in the middle of something that might soon involve the death of some hapless animal, but I was on a mission and didn't have time for such worring and nonsense. It was time to get the job done. I saw my 'prey' sitting across from me looking deep into the lava lamp, and went over to him and sat down right behind him. He grinned looking at me. And I guess I could see why, since I have a habit of wearing really baggy jeans and short tank tops, and at the time I hadn't noticed that my top and been riding up considerably in the last couple of hours, almost introducing everyone in the whole house to two very close buddies of mine. My pants were sagging kind of low, giving everyone a pretty good suspicion of the idea that I wasn't and rarely wear underwear(Hey, lay off if you're griping ok? I just have real sensitive skin and Im allergic to alot of different kinds of detergents and fabric softeners). Anyway, my prey was grinning uncontrollably as I sat next to him and out of nowhere Jerome blurts out that my boobs are almost showing. I looked down, and behold he was right, so I just told them to either take a picture, or look while they could before I sobered up and did some free dental work on everyone with my skateboard. My prey turned to me and said, "hey Jae, you know I got someone I think you need to meet dude". I thought about it a moment, and without showing my frustration at his unknowingly diverting me from my mission, and asked him to introduce me. Next thing I know, his friend, a girl, walks in and sits down by me. Now, mind you, I was not new to sex, but certain 'trends' hadn't been introduced to me. The girl introduced herself as Kristine and I told her my name, then asked my prey what was up, and not having the slightest clue as to the hints I was being given. Kristine started laughing, and my prey said "oh, well there's not much up...yet...but just wait right there." Everyone in the room who wasn't blasted out of their mind started catching what was going on on my end of the room, and Kristine gave me this giddy look and things started to click. I was instantly disgusted, but I just kept quiet. My prey leaned over to me and said "hey Jae, you know I've kinda been watching you for a while now, and I don't know what you think of me or anything but..." My mind started racing, and things were looking up again, this was what I'd been wanting to hear for the past two weeks, finally! He continued saying something, and I tried to pay attention, but was too pre-occupied with what my next move should be. Then out of nowhere he leaned in and stroked my cheek, and I would be lying if I said I didn't nearly pass out. Then Kristine rubbed my back and traced along my spine, and my whole body shuddered. NOW I was beggining to see what he had in mind. And to be honest, it wouldn't be the first time, if I went along with it it was just that before the other girl was always just kind of like a 'tag team' partner so to speak, not someone who was right in it. Next thing I knew, I was kissing my former prey like it would save his life, with Kristine licking my neck. Needless to say, we captivated our 'audience' with a display tas pretty damn intense now that I remember it, and to be honest it really was great. The most interesting bit was, Kristine called me about a day or so after that, asking me to come over, just to "see her and hang out"(uh huh...yeah), and we soon became umm..."really close", so to speak....
Part 3 - Black Dayz
Unfortunately, abusing substances doesn't always have a happy ending, as a rediculously high number of people have found out. In my case, I've had more bad experiences than I personally feel one person is entitled to(at the age I was). I remember in particular one young "friend" of mine who like to invite me out and spend the afternoon watching the sunset and getting high off of everything from weed, to acid, and sometimes a few things that even then I knew was too stupid to experiment with at the age of 16. One one such afternoon, I was chilling out at home putting my hair into pigtails, tightening the trucks on my skateboard, checking out some new make-up I'd bought earlier, and other such fun-filled things and told him to give me about 30 minutes and I'd meet him at our usual spot. He said not to bother, and that he'd be picking me up since he'd just amped up his car with some new engine crap and wanted to try it out. I said fine. He picked me up as he'd done plenty of times before, and I instantly noticed he'd started without me, first by the way he was sniffling, and then by the odd way he kept swerving into the path of oncoming traffic. I started to get a little irritable about it, mainly because I don't like it when people take chances with my life in that way, and he instantly got heavy attitude. I took careful note to play this evening real carefully. He wasn't very big, and if he got rough it was a guarantee that it REALLY be worth what he got in return, but nevertheless I decided to play it cool. He told me he was sorry about getting heated earlier, and said he needed to stop by his house and get a different jacket. I had calmed down a bit and said sure, no problem, and was glad to see he was calm. He ran in, then ran to the door and told me to come on in since he remembered he had to make a phone call, so I hoped out of the car and walked in, then up the stairs and waited in his room. He came upstairs a little while later and sat next to me on his bed. Clicking a few buttons on his remote, he asked me casually why I'd never agreed to start dating him. I laughed and reminded him that he'd never actually asked me to begin with. He didn't laugh, and then sort of matter-of-factly asked me if we could finally start a relationship. Unfortunately, I'd already started seeing Kristine on a more exclusive level, and the timing was just bad. I told him that maybe if his timing had been better, it would've been cool. He became a bit annoyed, and started insisting that a relationship with a female wasn't the same as a boyfriend/girlfriend type of deal. Of course I wasn't an idiot, and admitted it certainly wasn't the same, but at the same time, being exclusive ment just that, and that cheating was one thing I simply didn't do, period. Arguing his point further, he went on, and again I just told him how I felt, which was the same as before. Eventually we were in a full-blown argument, and it was getting ugly, with me and him both up in each other's faces, screaming at ear-splitting levels and red in the face. After we were both exhausted and sitting in opposite corners of the room, I started making it clear that I was about to leave, and that I'd appreciate it if he didn't call me for a while. Then I heard the door close loudly downstairs as his brother came home apparently from a afternoon out with his football teammates. My friend looked at his hands and asked me if I was really thinking of leaving. I said hell yeah, and that I'd rather not even discuss it much further. Without looking up, he just said "well, I wouldn't be too certain about all that". Barely hearing what he said I said 'hi' to his brother as he walked in and his brother stepped into the room, and stood standing in the doorway. Looking at his brother's face I noticed he'd been dipping into my friend's stash that day, which was cool, or so I thought. My "friend" told me that he'd be damned if it was going to end like this. I spun around and told him to just drop the whole thing. Frustrated by the thought of getting into another argument, my voice growled at him to take me the hell home, or give me the phone so I could call a ride. His brother stood emotionless in the doorway. My friend got up and threw the phone straight at my face telling me to call whoever I wanted, cuz he wasn't about to drive me anywhere. Trying to dodge unsuccessfully, I got struck on the side of the head and stumbled to the side. His brother walked off telling us to quit being immature, and I got up screaming and growling swear words. My "buddy" walked over and stood over me as I knelt clutching my head with blood dripping down my arm, swearing. Pointing at my head wound, he grinned and told me I needed to get the hell out of his house since I "didn't seem to want the phone." His sick sense of humor sent me into a rage of swear words as I felt the burning and pounding in my head grow from my heated blood-pressure. This did little aside from piss him off considerably, and he threw me up against a wall in his room yelling at me to shut the hell up. Of course since this was my only way of dealing with the nearly-unbearable pain, his anger encouraged me to verbally abuse him further. Somehow, in the dimlight of the fading sun in that small room with no light on, this young man channeled a demon from a place I never hope to go and became a total monster. I pushed him away, somewhat out of fear, and somewhat out of frustration at having trouble being able to focus my eyes. He took the push as some sort of attack I guess, because he 'defended' himself well, with several punches to the other side of my head that put me on my knees, follwed by a stomp to my back which sent me straight to the floor. I started crying. The room somehow seemed even darker now, like I was being warped to someplace else. Another heel came down to the back of my head and I cut my lip, which instantly filled my mouth with blood. Another heel to my back. I coughed, and blood spurted out all over the corner I had been stomped into, splashing the walls, spurting all over the carpet. Another stomp to the back. I screamed as something popped and broke inside. My face came up from the carpet as I crawled around aimlessly like a wounded animal and I got a glimpse of my good "friend's" brother shouting at him to "calm down" standing in the doorway. Another heel to the back. I panicked and adrenalin gave me the strength to get halfway up off the floor. Instantly I was sent spinning into the wall as a hard punch cracked the side of my face. Blood splashed the walls once again. Finally, feeling what I thought was unconciousness creeping up on me, I lay still on the floor. I heard metal clinking. Then I felt sharp jerks around my hips. Suddenly a rush of cold air hit my legs as I felt my jeans get yanked off. There was some yelling, then alot of grunting. And not long afterwards I felt a pain rip through me that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I tried screaming, but my voice couldn't even catch wind. I felt a harsh scratching in my back as whatever popped earlier scrape something inside as my body continuously and excruciatingly jerked. The room grew darker, shouts to calm down turned into shouts to hurry up. Darker...I began to feel hatred, burning hatred for the monster that had been my friend just a few hours ago, who now knelt behind me grunting having released his real nature, the warped and violent side of himself. Darker....I hated him. Darker....Pain, alot of pain, I wanted it to stop. Darker....I spit blood as I coughed in pain. Something, dripping down my leg...something red...pain. Then the room went black.
I woke up screaming and swearing at a hospital, clawing at my sheets. Ayumi and my brother came running in stumbling. Ayumi had been crying, I could tell. My mother came running in on the phone. The sheets felt strange, then I realized I was near-naked wearing one of those tiny hospital gowns. Shocked I screamed at everyone, still not focused, just frustrated. Then I felt pain, scratching, clawing pain in my back. But it wasn't the same as before, it only hurt when I moved sharply. Strange. Then I realized I'd been drugged up to ease the pain some. Of all the things I wanted to have at that moment, pain or not, drugs weren't anywhere on the list. Then I felt more pain, sharp pain between my legs, somehow it didn't matter how I moved, it just kept hurting. Through very disorganized sentences and conversation I caught something about how I'd been found, but couln't catch where. My brother growled demands to know who had hurt me, clenchings his fists. My mother was talking frantically in Japanese on the phone, giving someone my status. Ayumi couldn't hold tears back any longer, and just kept crying and whispering praises that I was alive. Then my other sister came running in, hair half done. Apparently I'd been unconcious for a while, after calculating I reasoned I'd been under for about 3 days. Strange, it felt like I'd been in Hell just a few seconds ago. I started to remember, Hell. Now I remembered where I'd been, and that was it, Hell, in the arms of the demons. After assuring my family I was going to be ok, physically at least, I got the lowdown on the damage done from the doctor : a s--tload of cuts and bruises, a broken rib, a shallow slice in my cheek which had been stitched shut, mild internal bleeding, stitches on both sides of my head(15 total), and my insides between my legs would need time to heal up since they'd been seriously damaged, but it was nothing permanent. Suddenly upon hearing about the stitches on my head I acknowledged another new change. I was bald. The doctors had to shave my head to make all the stitches clean. Then the hate came racing back to my memory. The hate was so strong my head began to hurt. The pain, another reminder. Speaking to my brother alone, I told him who was responsible. I told him everything I could remember, more than I've written here, and in the coldest, most hate-filled, and outright evil of moments, possibly the worst of my life, I told my brother not to do anything he'd get arrested for, but I told him that aside from that not to hold back, and to take some friends with him, since my "friend" had that quaint little party the nite I was over for a visit, it made sense to return the favor. To this day all I've heard about the outcome regarding that incident was that the "debts had not been paid, but things would never be the same for my friend." I love that, friends change, but family...real family...always shows up in the end to make the wrong things right.
I'll be writing and uploading more stuff from my diary and my memory later, but for now I guess I'm feeling a bit 'drained', so I'll have to continue another time....