Fire Demons and Ice Don't Mix
by Jean Kang
Konochiwa minna-san! I love to ice skate (I take lessons every Saturday morning) and I thought it would be cute if I made the Urameshi gang try it!
Hiei: CUTE?!
Jean: Yeah cute.
Hiei: "…"
Kurama: Not bad Jean-chan.
Jean: (eyes get big and sparkly) Kurama-kun gave me a compliment! He loves me (sighs as Kurama sweat drops).
Hiei: Humph, he doesn't love you, you stupid girl.
Jean: So are you saying that he loves you more than me? HA! Dream on shortie!
Hiei: (looks angry) SHORTIE? BLACK DRAGON WAVE!
(Urameshi team runs for cover as Jean types something on the computer. The black dragon changes direction and charges at Hiei)Hiei: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Jean: (holds hand up to face a does an imitation of a Naga laugh) OH HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!! Might I remind you Hiei-kun that I write what happens to you! OH HOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
(Urameshi team sweat drops)
"This is so stupid," Hiei grumbles as cold winds hit him in the face.
The Urameshi gangs decided to have some fun at the ice skating rink that day and were putting on their brown rental skates on their feet. All of them, well, except Hiei that is.
"Aw, come on Hiei," Yusuke said, "Hurry up and put your skates on."
"No," Hiei said stubbornly.
Jean sighs, holds out her hands, and starts typing. Hiei floated up in the air, his shoes flying off and gets replaced by the ice skates.
"I'm glad Washu let me borrow this!" Jean says happily as she sets Hiei down.
Hiei growls at her and sits on the bench.
"Keep acting like that," she warned, "I'm going to have to write another yaoi fanfic!" His eyes get bigger as he goes on his knees.
"NO ANYTHING BUT THAT!" he begged, "I'll do anything!"
"Then be a good boy and go ice skate!"
The others soon finish tying their boots and step onto the ice.
"Yukina-san! Watch this!" Kuwabara yells as he jumps into a triple axel and promptly falls down on his butt (don't even think about touching my computer again, Jean smirks).
"Kazuma-san are you alright?" Yukina asked.
"Oh, I'm alright Yukina-san!"
"Here, let me help you up," Yukina bends over and grabs Kuwabara's arm.
Kuwabara turns bright red and squeals.
"Baka," Yusuke scoffs looking at him, "Watch some real skating Kuwabara!"
Yusuke whizzes around the rink once and when he reaches Kuwabara, he stops and covers Kuwabara with ice. Kuwabara's face turns red from anger and melts the ice covering his body.
"DIE URAMESHI!" he screams and starts chasing after Yusuke.
Kurama and Hiei watches in silence as squeals fill the air. They turn in the direction of the squeals and see a huge group of girls. The squeals get louder as they gazed at the two handsome looking demons.
"Isn't he the most sexiest guy you've ever seen!"
"Dibs on the redhead!"
"Who care's about the redhead, the black one's mine!"
"Says who?"
"Says me that's whom!"
Jean groans and types something on the invisible keyboard. The girls find themselves voice-less as Jean skates over to Kurama and Hiei.
"Kurama-kun, Hiei-kun, would you like me to teach you how to ice skate?" she asks sweetly.
"Hmph, I don't need your help," Hiei grumbles.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
"Are you positively sure?"
"YES I'M SURE!!!!!"
"Suit yourself," Jean shrugged and turned to Kurama, "Kurama-kun, how about you?"
"Sure."
Jean's eyes grow big and sparkly as she holds his arm. Hiei grumbles something about bubble-headed girls and doesn't seem to notice the two figures skating in his direction with extreme speed…
Kurama glances down at the energetic fanfic writer/fan artist (who also has a HUGE crush on him) as she tells him how to push off from the blades. They hear a scream and then a crash as Hiei falls face first onto the ice with Yusuke and Kuwabara on top of him. The little fire demon did not look happy about it.
"Well, I warned him," Jean shrugs as Kurama goes over to help Hiei.
"GET THESE TWO !@#@$%&^*# OFFA ME!!!!!!" he screamed.
Meanwhile, Botan and teenaged version Koenma were practicing pairs skating moves when the heard Hiei curse and notice the poor guy pinned under two unconscious delinquents.
"Should we go help them Koenma-sama?" Botan asks.
"Nah, leave them alone," Koenma looks down at her and removes the pacifier… Jean looks over at the couple and sighs. She then glances over at her red headed prince charming as an evil grin appears on her face…
Kurama had succeeded pulling out the cursing fire demon while Keiko and Yukina was trying to wake Yusuke and Kuwabara without success.
"Yusuke no baka! Get up!"
"Kazuma-san, please wake up."
"Yukina-chan, you're going to have to shake Kuwabara harder than that," Keiko says standing up and leaning over Yusuke. At that moment, Yusuke wakes up and finds himself looking up Keiko's skirt.
"Keiko…" he says weakly. Keiko gets down and sits next to him.
"…I thought you outgrew kitty-cat panties," he finishes. Keiko turns bright red as smoke comes out of her ears. Yusuke's eyes widen in horror as he expects her to pull out a mallet like most anime women. But this time, Keiko doesn't pull out a mallet; she pulls out a bazooka instead.
"WAA! KEIKO NOT HERE!!!!!" he screams but it's too late. She fires and destroys the whole ice rink. A very fried manager storms over to her.
"What do you have to say for yourself, young lady?" he growls.
"YUSUKE NO BAKA!!!!!!!!!"
Jean: Well, that's the end of that (turns to the cast) what did you guys think?
Botan: It was heavenly… (She sighs and her voice trails off with her eyes sparkling)
Koenma: (blushing) "…"
Yusuke: It wasn't bad, Jean-chan! But there was one change needed.
Jean: Oh really Yusuke-kun?
Yusuke: Keiko's panties were pink with little bows printed over it. (Keiko whips out a mallet and pounds Yusuke on the head) OUCH!!!!!!!!
Keiko: Yusuke no baka!
Kuwabara: (still out of it) Ooh, what pretty colors…
Yukina: I thought it was a very nice story.
Jean: (beams at the girl) Arigato!
Hiei: Why did you have to torture me?
Jean: (making her voice sound innocent and cute) Because you're so cute when you're irritated (she tweaks his nose)!
(Hiei blushes and disappears. Keiko and Yusuke head home arguing. Kuwabara shakes his head and offers to take Yukina back to the temple. Botan and Koenma hops on her oar and flies away.)
Kurama: Send all comments and such to Jean at dhk_sclinkonline.net (Jean flashes him a seductive grin) Jean-chan, why are you looking at me like that?
Jean: (grin becomes even wider) Guess. Lights please!
Kurama: Jean-chan, what's going…mph!
*Disclaimer: These characters do NOT belong to me! The Urameshi gang belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi, Shonen Jump and other things. Washu is a Tenchi Muyo person and Naga is a Slayers character. Kurama-kun, calm down…