Sandy Sandy was my girlfriend. I loved her very much. I also hated her. It was a very strange relationship. We met at a party one night in the house of a mutual friend. His name's Frank. I thought he was a good judge of character. At one point in the evening, he pulled me over and pointed her out to me. He said she was a really great girl. She was sitting on a couch alone, munching on a cracker. I'll admit that she looked very pretty to me. Long, golden hair down to her elbows, light blue eyes, fair skin. And a dainty little mouth, speckled with cracker crumbs. She didn't seem particularly happy with the lack of attention she was getting. At the time, I didn't think of her loneliness as unusual. I tend to overlook things like that. So I sat down next to her and introduced myself. Something about her seemed to change then. It was as if my words gave sudden meaning to her very existence. The effect I had on her enchanted me, and I didn't once stop to think that maybe it wasn't my presence, but just the fact that someone was there at all. Besides, I rather enjoyed believing that it was something about the way I said hello that had made her become so lively and interested. Her voice was high-pitched and excited, and I noticed that her lip trembled every once in a while. It was a cute little quirk. She had me hooked. We talked for the rest of the party. I don't even remember what we said or even what we talked about. I imagine we told each other about ourselves then. But there wasn't much to know about Sandy. She was 23 and still lived with her parents. She was always looking for a job, but she never found one that quite suited her. When she was 12, her dog died. That's all I'm sure of about Sandy's life. The next night, we went out on a real date. Through some sort of intuition, she knew just what to do and say to charm me. And that pretty little full-faced smile of hers always filled the gaps in conversation. We had much to talk about, but little to say. And very little in common. But I found myself growing close to her even then. There was something about her that attracted me. Or maybe it was everything about her. But I was falling for her. It didn't matter why. I was happy. I guess it all started going downhill when I asked her to move in with me. That's when she knew she had me. Of course, the change wasn't immediate. It happened over time. But all the things that I'd liked about Sandy started melting away. I thought nothing of it at first. I figured she was just adjusting to living with me. But it didn't stop. You always think that crackers are cheap. They seem to be fairly inexpensive food items. But when you buy 15 boxes a week, it starts to add up. Sandy had this obsession with crackers. She loved to eat them. They were her own little thing. I never dared eat one, myself. The only time I did, she gave me a look that would've killed a small squirrel. Since Sandy didn't have a job, I ended up paying for her crackers. Which was alright for awhile. Until she started importing them. Sandy and I never had anything physical between us. When we'd first started dating, she'd told me that she was waiting for the right man. I obviously wasn't him. But I figured she'd change her mind sooner or later. Sandy seemed to enjoy ignoring me. I came home one day with a gift for her. I did that often, especially on payday. I called out her name, but she didn't answer me. I found her in bed with Frank. I guess he was the right man. They didn't even stop until they were done. I could tell Frank was scared. But Sandy had him pinned to the bed with her fists. It's amazing how much power a small girl like that can have. Frank ended up running out on the street naked. Sandy and I talked. We didn't fight. We never fought. I was too wrapped up in my idiot love to show anger to her. It was a dangerous internal conflict, my love and hate for her. Fortunately for Sandy, she was unencumbered by such things as love and affection. Nor did she have any qualms about yelling at me. Or perhaps she just liked to complain and yell. On this occasion, as was usual, I ended up apologizing. I told her I was sorry for interrupting her. I did want her to be happy, after all. Exactly one month later, I died. I was hit by a car on the way to the drugstore to get Sandy some aspirin for her headache. About a week later, she broke up with me. I believe she said that I hadn't done much for her lately. God, does she know how to put me on a guilt trip.
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