Diablerie:Nerima
Part 3
By: P-R-P-Chan and Ben Kalman
The next day was taken up with the surprise news of Kasumi's
impending demise, or that was what Soun made it out to be. Actually
she was just suffering from a slight case of dehydration, so she said.
Ranma stumbled down the stairs to hear Soun's wailing voice.
"OH NO! My darling Kasumi's sick. Somebody HELP MEEEE!
KAAASUUUMIIIIII!!!"
"Dad," Nabiki said, "It's not like she's dead, or at least not
quite..."
"WHAT?!? My darling Kasumi is DYING??? Whatever shall I do??"
Soun whined on as unabashed tears flowed down his face, "Two already,
I can't stand to lose another!"
"Daddy, you're babbling. Mother died years ago, and no one
else has since died."
"Oh yes, that's what i meant to say...yes that's right."
Nabiki's forked toungue snaked it's way out of her mouth
and touched her lip in contemplation.
Ranma entered and asked, "Hey, what the heck's going on??"
"SHUT UP RANMA, CAN'T YOU SEE MY POOR SISTER IS SICK AND
ALL YOU'RE THINKING OF IS YOURSELF...I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!" Akane
screamed as she hit him repeatedly with the frying pan she was
about to use to make tox-...breakfast.
"Uh-oh...Akane's cooking? Now we'll all be on the verge
of death too!"
"KASUMI!!" Soun begain his wailing once more.
"Don't worry Father, she's not dying.." Akane assured Soun before
turning to Ranma, "LOOK WHAT YOU DID! WE FINALLY GET FATHER TO CALM DOWN AND
YOU GO AND GET HIM ALL WORRIED AGAIN!! YOU INCONSIDERATE JERK!"
"What did i do?" Ranma retorted, "You're so UNCUTE!"
"What did you SAY? I'll get you later Ranma, right now I need to cook
breakfast for *my* family," Akane said as she stalked off into the kitchen.
"Ruin breakfast is more like it," Ranma muttered.
"I CAN'T BELEIVE YOU JUST SAID THAT! THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY
COOKING!!" Akane yelled as she threw her rollling pin with a perfect spiral
right into the side of Ranma's head.
"Ahhhh...w-where..did t-that tr-truck c-come from-m?"
"You shame me boy!! how your father worked so hard to teach you the
important things in life, like food, sake, and most of all: RESPONSIBILITY!!
Why do you always have to make me look so bad. Have you no respect for either
myself or your future father-in-law?"
"Lighten up, Pop. After all you gotta wat Akane's cooking too you know!"
Genma's silence showed his agreement.
Lunchtime once again approached Furinkan, and as if to echo that though
Ukyo once again approached Ranma with the thoughts of a 'lunch date' in mind.
"So Ranchan, you want to join me for okonomiyaki again today?" Ukyo asked,
her eyes gleaming like a young child opening christmas presents.
"You're not keeping them in the closet again are you?"
"Yeah, but you enjoyed it yesterday right?"
"Well yeah, but us sneaking off to the closet together... what are people
going to think?"
"We are fiancees after all"
Ranma turned bright red as he stuttered a response, "Well I guess.. and the
only lunch I have today was made by Akane.. lucky I got rid of it before it could
hurt me."
Ukyo shuddered in sympathy, as she took him in hand, escorting him towards
the feast she'd laid out for him.
Akane looked up to see Ukyo dragging Ranma off to parts unkown. She was
about to follow but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. Akane turned to see her
sister smiling like a cat that just caught a bird.
"Give them a bit Akane-chan," Nabiki said," It'll feel so much better to give
him a pounding even HE knows he deserves."
"Fine Nabiki, but you better be right."
"Sister, you should learn to be more respectful of you elders," Nabiki hissed.
She poked Akane between the breasts to illustrate her point, causing the youngest Tendo
to nearly double over in agony.
"Of course you're right.. how could I ever doubt you," Akane winced as she spoke,
more in shame than in pain.
"Ranma I think it's time."
"Time for what, Ukyo?"
"Time for you to give yourself to m fully!" Ukyo replied with a smile, as she
reached for his pants.
"Uh..Ukyo..I don't think this is a good idea!" Ranma said, nervously looking
around the locked closet, trying to push her hands away.
"But Ranma, you weren'r complaining yesterday, and we were pretty intimate,"
Ukyo said in a silky voice. She grabbed a handful of his pants, and yanked them
down, just as Akane kicked the door open, with Nabiki peering curiously over
her shoulder.
"Oh my GOD!!" Akane yelled, blushing to the roots of her hair, unsure whether
to run and hide or clobber Ranma even more.
"Nice legs," Nabiki commented, noting a few little holes on Ranma's inner
thigh. "Ranma, I think it's time you tell us where you're getting the money to
uphold an addiction of this kind!"
"What addiction??" Ranma asked, quickly pulling his pants up.
"Heroin, dolt! What else do you shoot up?"
"Heroi-HEY!! I'm not on drugs Nabiki!"
"How do you know about heroin, Nabiki??" Akane asked, still with her back
to Ranma.
"Er..nevermind. So Ranma, what're you doing in the closet with Ukyo?" Nabiki
asked with a giggle.
"Eating lunch," Ranma answered, twiddling his thumbs, and looking everywhere
but at Ukyo, who was trying to hide a smile.
"Well, I can see that, but you're not going to get much protein that way!"
Nabiki said drily, "Although i'm sure *she* will!"
"HEY!!" Ukyo interrupted, "That's not fair! i'm only doing what a proper
fiancee would do!"
"HE's my FIANCEE YOU LITTLE TRAMP!" Akane screeched.
"Who you calling little, Butch?" Ukyo replied.
"WHY YOU-"
"Do i detect the voices of a faie maiden in distress?" Kuno queried, as he
strode through the doorway. "P'raps I can be of some help to you." Kuno took Akane's
hane in his and kissed it gently, only to be smacked upside the head with a rolling pin,
Akane pulled out of Hammerspace.
Ukyo's hand gestured in an upward movement, a movement that was quickly followed
by another. Namely Akane falling to the ground.
"Who put that banana peel on the floor?" Akane yelled.
"What on earth are you talking about? What banana peel?" Nabiki calmly asked.
"That banana peel!!" Akane said, pointing at the empty floor in front of her.
"Where?" Ranma asked.
"SHUT UP RANMA! WHO ASKED YOU ANYWAYS?!?"
"How dare you slight Akane, Ranma? How can you be so cruel to her, when she's
being forced into marriage with you!" Ryouga said, as he emerged from the ceiling.
"Me save you Ranma, you come home with Shampoo, be safe!" Shampoo annouced,
bouncing through the wall, adding yet another missing wall to the room.
"AAAARGGGHHHH!!!" Ranma screamed, clutching his head as he ran from the closet.
"Ranma, come back here!!" Ryoga yelled out, as he turned to chase Ranma and
slammed into one of the few remaining walls, knocking himself out cold.
"RANMA!" Ukyo, Kuno, and Shampoo yelled out simultaneously, albeit with different
tones, as they proceeded to chase after him.
Nabiki turned to Akane, who still hadn't risen from her position on the floor.
"Ta-ta, dear sister. I'll see you at home!"
As Nabiki left, Akane slammed her fist into the floor in frustration. She turned
around looking for something to hit; then seeing only Ryoga, she crawled quietly to his
side.
Ranma, having evaded the posse, returned to the broom closet at the same time as
Ukyo.
"I knew you'd be back here, just couldn't get enough. Come on Ranma, let's get
back to where we left off!" She grabbed his hand, and pulled him into the closet before
he could argue.
As they entered they saw Akane suddenly lift her face from Ryouga's, her face
flushed, with Ryoga moaning to himself.
"YOU BITCH!" Ukyo screamed out.
"You're s`uch a hypocrite, Akane! You get mad at me, then sneak off with Ryoga
when i'm not looking? With RYOGA OF ALL PEOPLE!"
"I don't have to explain myself to either of you.. ESPECIALLY YOU RANMA!!" Akane
yelled as she belted Ranma through the hole in the roof, kindly provided by Ryoga's
untimely arrival.
"That wasn't very nice, you lowlife, conniving, TWO-TIMING, DOUBLE-CROSSING,
WEASELY LITTLE BITCHWHORE!!!"
"That's my business, not yours, so BUTT OUT SPATULA SLUT!" Akane growled, baring
teeth.
"Ranma IS my business, and it's obvious who HE prefers!" Ukyo shouted, returning
the guesture.
Ryoga looked up, dumbfounded, from one face to the other, then promptly fainted
again. When he woke up, he was lying in one of the school clinic's cots, next to Ranma.
He tried to sit up but the nurse pushed him back down.
"You've had quite a time, young man. All that brawling cause a lot of blood loss.
By the way, were you aware that you're anemic?"
"But I'm not an-"
"Never you mind, rest up here, then when you feel a little better, you can go
home."
Ranma got up and stuck his toungue out at Ryoga. "Nyah-Nyah, you gotta stay here!"
"That goes for you too, you sustained soem bad bruises yourself, and you may have
a concussion. So lie down like a good boy!" The nurse said as she gently pushed Ranma
back into his bed.
"What happened?" Ryoga asked as the nurse left the room.
"You don't wanna know!" Ranma replied, "Besides, you were knocked out for three
quarters of it anyways."
"Phew, that explains the weird hallucination at the end"
"And that's all it was, Ryoga, a hallucination. Even when Akane kissed you!" Ranma
stated, which prompted a thought, "Why does that phrase sound familiar?" But Ranma's train
of thought derailed as Ryoga grasped what he'd just said.
"Akane kissed me...WAIT A MINUTE! If it was a hallucination, how did you know about
it?"
"Oh, I guess that explains it. Hey Ranma?"
"Yeah Ryoga?"
"Do you think Akane's acting sorta strange lately?"
"Akane's always strange."
"HEY WATCH YOUR MOUTH!! I'm serious!" Ryoga shouted, rising halfway up before
collapsing back down again.
"So am I!"
"RANMA!! JUST ANSWER THE STUPID QUESTION ALREADY!"
"I JUST DID!"
The nurse returned to find the two boys weakly swinging at each other, so she sent
them home, each in a different direction; which probably would have happened anyways,
seeing as Ryoga was one of the pair.
Late that night, a shadowy figure snuck into the Tendo Dojo. What made the figure
so different than most shadowy figures who snuck into the Tendo Dojo ( admit it there have
been a lot), was that this one wasn't a person using the dark to camouflage their entrance,
rather the figure seemed to be a part of the night, having an inky black form that gave the
impression that light flowed around it; that and the fact that it made absolutely no noise.
Without a sound, the figure crept up the stairs and down the hall.
Ranma woke suddenly, sensing that he wasn't alone (nevermind the sleeping Panda,
Genma doesn't really count as a person, now does he?) he scanned the room. He was
surprised to find Ukyo crawling into his bed.
"I can't stand another day alone! I need you Ranma! I need to be with you!"
Ranma's reply was cut off as Ukyo filled his mouth with her probing toungue.
Genma snored on.
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