RANMASPOTTING
	By: Ben Kalman 
	Chapter 1

	"Ranma??"
	The voice shattered the serenity.  The stillness, once perfect, was now broken.  Ranma's stomach heaved.  He cramped up, his stomach feeling swollen and distended.  He couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten.  He couldn't remember where the fuck he was...maybe he should open his eyes.
	The brightness split his head open like a ginsu knife through a ripe melon.  Spots began to appear, as Ranma desperately tried to adjust to the light and keep his stomach together at the same time.
	"Ranma, are you okay?"
	"F-fine.." Ranma croaked.  His mouth felt parched and dry.  He needed water.
	When he could finally see, he turned to see who had disturbed his blissful slumber.  It was Akane, surprise, surprise.
	Ranma couldn't even remember how he'd gotten back from Ukyo's to the Dojo.  His toungue felt like rubber, his extremities numb.
	"You don't *look* fine.  You're really plae!"
	"I'm fine Akane, just leave me alone!"
	"Fine, then.  But don't come crawling to me when you want sympathy!"
	Akane whirled around and stormed off.  As she got through the door, she saw Nabiki standing across the hall, with a glint in her eyes.
	"What's wrong with Ranma?" She asked.
	"I don't know, but he's in a real cranky mood.  If he thinks that I'm gonna let him ruin my day, he's got another thing coming!"
	Nabiki just smiled, looking even more amused.  Akane just let out a squeal of frustraion and stomped down the stairs.
	Nabiki waited until she heard the door slam, then entered Ranma's room.
	"Ranma, Ranma, Ranma.  What ever am I to do with you," Nabiki sighed as she rolled her eyes heavenward as if in hopes of some divine inspiration.  She got Ranma to his feet and helped him to the bathroom, where he proceeded to kneel in extensive prayer to the porcelain gods.  He rinsed his mouth out, then drank some water and took some aecetaminophen to ease his splitting headache.
	"Gee, did we have ourselves a good weekend?" Nabiki said from where she sat in the corner, an impish grin on her face.
	"I need another.. I can't take the pain.. just one hit to tide me over!"
	"Ranma, baby, I'm truly sorry, but your credit just ran out.  You owe me big time.  Howeever there *is* one way you could pay me off."
	"What? Name it... I'll do anything!"
	"Somehow, I knew you's see it my way!"


	Akane walked into Dr.Tofu's clinic.  She was almost at the point of fuming.  How dare he!  And that sister of hers was just encouraging him!  They did it just to annoy her.  They had to be obnoxious on the one important day of her life, her birthday.  Somehowm she knew Dr.Tofu would make her feel better.  He always did.  Just the thought of being held by those strong arms, the medical smell about him.  Just so long as Kasumi didn't find out, somehow she knew it would be okay.
	"Akane! So good to see you." Dr.Tofu said as she walked in.  He closed the ventian blinds and locked the front door, turning the sign so that it read 'closed'.  Then he took her in his arms and kissed her passionately.
	"Happy Birthday," Dr.Tofu said in a deep voice as he unzipped her dress.  She smiled happy and feeling needed, then gave herself completely.

	
	Ryoga put down the telephone.  Now he had his revenge on that bastard Ranma.  He'd seen Ranma at the clubs in Tokyo the previous weekend with Ukyo.  They were fucked out of their minds on junk.  Now he had just arranged for Akane to find out.  Finally Akane would be his, as was destined.  Now he just had to find his way back to Nerima.  Where was he...Edingburgh??? How the hell did he get to Scotland?? Oh well, since he was herem he might as well drop in on his good friend Sick Boy.  Then he'd get back to Japan to claim his rightful prize!


	"Whaaat?!?" Soun yelled out.
	"You heard me father, we're going vegetarian.  We must protect those poor little animals who are treated so cruelly and inhumanely!" Kasumi announced.
	"But my dear, darling, beloved Kasumi, how are we to survive without meat? We need those enzymes and proteind..."
	"But Daddy, couldn't we try it? I think it would be fun." Akane asked.
	"SHUT UP YOU MISERABLE LITTLE WENCH!! WHO'S TALKING TO YOU!" Soun screeched as he backhanded Akane across the face.  His face was scarlet and his breathing heavy.  Akane whimpered and tears started to roll down her face as she placed her hand over the now reddened cheek.
	"Daddy, it's her birthday! Be nice, for me??" Kasumi pleaded.
	"Oh Happy Birthday Akane, Daddy's sorry, I don't know what came over me." Soun said, his arms motioning for Akane to hug him.
	Akane turned and fled sobbing, upstairs.
	"DON'T YOU WALK OUT ON ME YOU LITTLE BITCH! GET BACK HERE!"


	Kuno met Nabiki in a dank and musty cafe.
	"Do you have it, woman?" He demanded stiffly.
	"Kuno, baby, of course I have it!"
	She placed two packets and an envelope on the table.  Kuno opened the first packet to see a wrapped brick of white powder.  He stuck a small knife into the packet and tasted the powder with his pinkie.
	"Mmm, good quality, almost pure."
	"Have I ever let you down?"
	He opened the next packet, which contained three vials of clear liquid.
	"American Morphine, baby.  You won't find better!" Nabiki said, with a giggle.	
	Kuno opened the envelope.  his eyes nearly started from his head.  He jumped up, knocking one of the vials to the floor with a crash.
	"Hey! You're paying for that!" Nabiki yelled as Kuno hurriedly hid the other drugs in his robes.
	"How did you get these photos?" Kuno demanded.
	"A little luck and a lot of dope!"
	"I'll take the lot."
	"5,000,000 nuyen.  Take it or leave it."
	"I'll pay!" Kuno said as he handed her the money.  She counted it, then nodded her head.
	"Can you get more pictured like this of my darling pigtailed girl?"
	"Shouldn't be a problem."
	"And 750 CC's of ether."
	"No problem.  Now, about tonight..."
	Kuno smiled and linked his arm into hers as they exited the cafe, "We shall see, fair maiden."
	"What maiden?" Nabiki responede with a wicked smile and a wink.  Kuno just laughed.


	"Nihao, Ranma! Shampoo come sit on face?"
	Ranma woke up suddenly, in a cold sweal.  He'd been having nightmares all week about her.  For some reason, he just couldn't get Shampoo out of his mind.  His thoughts race back to The Boiler Room, in downtown Tokyo, a few days ago.  He'd gone there with Ukyo.  They'd taken E, figuring that it would keep them high until they could hit the heroin the next day.  He'd never felt so alive.  The music was blasting.. he could feel the nergy all the way to his chi, the centre and core of his being.  Then, as Ukyo's lips met his in an electric bliss, with lights flashin neon and sparkles around him, *she* showed up.  Shampoo...her blue hair glowing in the neon light.  The patterns being projected on each wall were reflected in her eyes.  He shuddered with the recollection of these memories.  She always seemed to be where she was least wanted.  she'd obviously been on acid again, her pupils dilated, making them large and dark in the bright neon tube lights.  Her mouth was stretched into an impossibly wide grin.  She reached for Ranma, pulling him close...Ranma shuddered again as his mind jumped forward a few hours...he was lost in his thoughts to the point that his memories seemed all too real.  He remembered he and Ukyo, racing out of the club, laughing.  He'd finally escaped from Shampoo.  They'd caught a taxi, intending on going back to Ukyo's to taste the heroin.  They'd been up sixteen hours at least, and the ecstasy was just starting to wear off.  Then, all of a sudden, Shampoo bounced gaily out of the club, only to just happend to scrunch into the same cab as Ranma.  Coincidence? He thought not.
	Shampoo and her newly aquired raver outfits...from the track pants to the baby doll t-shirts proudly displaying names like 'Shonen Knife' and 'Rumiko Takahashi'.  Her pigtails, her sneakers.  She barely looked Chinese anymore.  Finally, Ukyo and Ranma were able to escape Shampoo's constant stalking.  Though unnerved, they still enjoyed two days of true ecstasy, the kind found only through the eye of a needle.

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