05.
12.
00.
For he today that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition.
And gentlemen in England, now abed,
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here;
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

          -Henry V
It's not that I wanted this...

I used to watch James Bond movies when I was little. I would watch and watch until my mom reminded me to blink a couple of times, and then I'd have dreams of international espionage while I slept. Some girls dream of princes and castles - I dreamed of C4 and Walther PPKs. When you consider who my father was, I suppose that most people wouldn't be surprised. But my parents' wild days were over when I came along. They probably figured it wouldn't be in the best interests of the family to keep in the business. Can a predispostion towards espionage even be passed down through genetic code? If that were true, I suppose it would explain a lot about me. Well, at least my parents tried to give me a normal life - and succeeded for a couple of years. Inevitably, their pasts caught up with them... as did their enemies... as did the guns with their silencers.

But that's not something I talk about.

So for the majority of my upbringing, I was raised by a friend of the family, who I've always just called Raymond. Thus began my second chance at a normal childhood, which took a nosedive as soon as Raymond decided that his ward would probably need to know how to protect herself one of these days. So while other kids learned how to write in cursive and read Trumpet of the Swans, I held my very first Walther PPK and learned Spanish from the maid.

It didn't occur to me until I was much older and, well... educated... that perhaps Raymond wasn't just looking out for my best interests when he put that PPK in my hands so many years ago. Sometimes, I almost believe that he knew that when that trigger came in contact with my finger, it would send spiraling that recessive gene passed down from my parents and activate something within me, carrying me down the path that I now find myself on. But then again, maybe the gene was never recessive.


± Nikita
± CNN
± BBC

Archives

± | N/A |


So, it's not that I wanted this...

it's just that I wasn't given a choice.