I was digging around my old stuffs, and I came upon this.....this piece was written for a Cultural Diversity Class in March 1992, while I was attending the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay.  I thought I share it with you and see what your feelings are....(09/29/98)

"A PLIGHT TO REMEMBER"

Reflecting on my own experience as a Hmong refugee who fled to this country at the age of five and through talks with my parents, I have learned a great deal about my historical background.  It is very important to me, because the movement of the Hmong and the Vietnam War was a bitter, fearful and complicated phenomenon.  Today, time has given me some perspective, but the Vietnam War still presents me with some very difficult and scarred memories that I could not completely erased and forget about - because I was there when the war was going on.  So I would like to take you on a small journey and give you some basic information as to where the Hmong originally lived and how we became involved in the war and why.

The Hmong have lived in China for a long period of time.  They lived there until the Chinese government tried to rule them.   They resisted the Chinese and fought back because they wanted to remain "free people."  After that, they were left alone, but again, the Chinese government tried to conquer them.  Gradually, most of the Hmong fled south of China into Laos and the others remained or moved further south to what we called Thailand. The Hmong that lived in the spacious, cool, wet mountains of Laos rebuilt their new life and continued their ways of living.  They had the full use of the land and were happy.  They were a unique ethnic group of people with a horticultural (slash/burn) life style.  They governed themselves democratically and in times of invasion, they were successful in keeping intruders away.

However, they were driven out of the mountains to other parts of the country in Laos by the Vietnamese government, who were much more powerful than the Chinese.  The Vietnamese government had also taken over other countries in southeast Asia.   For example, the French were fighting with North Vietnam to keep them from South Vietnam.

It was then the United States went in and the French pulled out.   My dad said the United States had gone in for the best of reasons - to help our country - Laos.  (Although, the Hmong do not necessarily have a country that they can call their own, Laos has been a home and country that they always known.)  The war with Nort Vietnam grew intense. The United States learned of the Hmong's knowledge about the vast moutain sides and they began a plan.  The United States Central Intelligence Agency (better known as CIA) and Hmong leaders came into contact with one another.  They organized the "Secret Army," where Hmong men and boys joined in secretly to help American troops fight the Vietnamese troops along the Ho Chi Minh Trail and rescued American pilots shut down in the area.  The Hmong soldiers or guerrilas were trained and paid directly by the CIA and backed by Air America.  However, a great majority of them were recruited and secretly fought without pay; without recognition.  They died, and only their families knew about them.  Their names, their bravery, and their honor ceased to exist - it was all in secrecy.

My dad was one of those men who joined.  He was only 15 at the time and had just married my mom.  He joined the CIA and went into combat - the "Secret Army" on February 1, 1960 and returned March 4, 1967.  I was born on ** 1974.  Then he went back on June 10, 1975 after the United States abruptly pulled out in April 1975.   He went back because he was needed.   Later, he caught up to my mom and I in Phou Phang, Laos on March 6, 1980 because the war was unwinnable in any case.  He was badly wounded in the right arm on the elbow due to a gun shot.   But thanks to God he was alive.

I could write more and give you more insights about the trauma and how difficult it was, but this is just a brief summary of what happened.  I know there is no way for you to fully understand Vietnam and the horrors of the war - the feel, the heat, the smell, the fear, or the incredible noise of bombing and thousands of people dying unpurposely unless you were there.   I am sure, though, you understand that since the United States pulled out of Vietnam, it abandoned a population of well over two hundred thousand Hmong, to say the least, who were fearful of retribution by the Communist Pathet Laos government.  You can also understand that the aftermath of the Vietnam War is the deliberate destruction of the Hmong social tradition and culture, and the total loss of freedom and basic human rights.

Our desperate plight of the boat people who crossed the Mekong River to Thailand was another human tradegy.  I could vividly remember in the late hours of the misty, dark night, my family and I, were waiting for a boat so we could cross the Mekong River.  I could also remember my dad saying, "Do not look into the river.  You will become scared and panic, and this could cost everyone's life.  You must not look."  The wait for the right tide was an agonizing one.

We braved the dangers of high tides and piracy in the river; however, more than half never made it to shore.  We knew of the dangers and slim chance of survival, but it is our only survival.  So we must risk our lives, knowing the next step maybe our last.  And all I can say is that we lived; some of us - the most fortunate ones.   I can say we [the Hmong] did our work - well.  We can say that we feel good about the work we did and we can also say that the United States had abandoned us.   We thought the United States was going to help us win the war, but apparently it left us to bear the consequences it had caused.   At that time, we were torn, confused, and felt betrayed.   The Vietnam War took the lives of many Hmong and divided a generation of men, women, and children; families, friends, and relatives.   And, a part of my childhood that I missed, where things happened without my comprehension or knowledge.