Mortal Kombat (1995) ½
cast: Christopher Lambert, Robin Shou, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Linden Ashby, Bridgette Wilson, Talisa Soto, Trevor Goddard, Chris Casamassa, Francois Petit, Keith Cooke,
and Gregory Paul Martin (voice)
director: Paul W.S. Anderson

"Mortal Kombat," adapted from the controversial video game by the same name, is a prime example of why video games best left to the small screen. You can make a video game out of a movie but you cannot make a movie out of a video game.

"Mortal Kombat" will prove my hypothesis as yet another video game cum celluloid rife with cheap casting, lackluster direction, and poor special effects. The script, penned by "Highlander" (the TV series) author Kevin Droney relies on an "Enter the Dragon" premise (originally Bruce Lee's son Brandon was to star in the film) that is about as fun to watch as having your spinal column ripped out by one of the game's opponents.

However, if you came to this film looking for the same gratuity found in the video games, you had best look somewhere else. New Line Cinema, who distributed "Mortal Kombat," keeps most of the bloodletting and bone crunching to a bare minimum in an obvious attempt to pack the house with as many kiddies as the multiplex can hold.

The film's press kit notes "Mortal Kombat" received a PG-13 rating for "non-stop martial arts action and some violence." Who on God's green Earth would have wanted a "Mortal Kombat" film that featured "some violence"? How about a remake of "Debbie Does Dallas" rated PG-13 for language and some sexuality?

Anyways, forget the violence. Can you honestly say you were looking forward and willingly watched a film starring Christopher Lambert, Hong Kong second banana Robin Shou, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, and Bridgette Wilson?

If so, you are one sick puppy.