Bishounen Senki Sailor Wing!
A Gundam Wing fanfic
by Cresent Star
Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Sotsu Agency, Sunrise. The original story of Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon was created by Naoko Takeuchi.
Note: Before you read this, please consider your sanity...
(OPENING SEQUENCE)
The series logo of Shin Kidou Senki has been superimposed upon the logo of Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon. It now reads before a rainbow coloured, doily background:
BISHOUNEN SENKI SAILOR W
The awful logo fades out and is replaced by an even more awful image of Heero dressed in a Sailor fuku, hugging his knees. The music strikes up.
(sung to the tune of the NA Sailormoon opening)
Fighting evil by starlight,
Getting lucky at midnight.
Self destructing in a real fight,
He is the one named Sailor Wing!
*sweatdrop*
We see Heero dressed in the Juuban sailor school uniform. He is running back and forth across the screen repeatedly because he is running faster than Serena did. He stops, out of breath, and glares over his shoulder. This is accompanied by a mirror image of him in a Sailor fuku.
In the background, a shadowy figure removes a mask with great gusto. This person is *not* Tuxedo Mask, but Trowa Barton.
We cut to a scene with a water fountain, where Heero is taking a drink after the exhausting and most definitely pointless bout of running. Though he cannot see it, there is another person there with him. His long braid is blowing in the non existent anime wind.
A clip of Treize Kushrenada spreading his hands like any normal megalomaniac while the music runs into the bridge. After the bridge, we see Heero walking down a flight of moonlit steps in obvious irritation. He is flanked by Quatre and Wufei as Sailors Sandrock and Nataku respectively.
The music reaches its peak and Heero strikes the pose in the Just Communication opening, except he is dressed in a sailor fuku and there is a crescent moon background behind him. An SD Doctor J grins at his feet, a badly cut out paper crescent stuck to his head with a piece of double sided tape.
He is the one... Sailor Wing!
(END OPENING SEQUENCE)
(WEEKLY INTRODUCTION)
o/~ ...Ooh, ooh... Sailor Wiii~iing...Ooh, ooh... Sailor Wii~ing... o/~
Heero begins to introduce himself like in Sailor Moon, complete with pink doily background. He is dressed like Serena, just minus the meatballs.
"Hi. Name: Heero Yuy. Age: Fifteen. Occupation: Gundam Pilo--ow! Sailor Senshi!" he glares at the camera. "Likes: Missions, self destruction. Dislikes: Everything else--"
Never mind. Let's just get on with the episode...
"Hn. Ninmu ryoukai."
(END WEEKLY INTRODUCTION)
The scene of the episode opens to a Chinese temple....
Wufei glowered at everybody present because they were either talking or too engrossed in each other to pay attention to him, which was the case for Trowa and Quatre.
Relena, wearing a big red bow on her head, was trying to get Heero interested in the Nakayoshi manga she had with her. He wasn't listening to her as he was too busy polishing his revolver. Doctor J was explaining a huge, complicated sequence of calculations to Professor S on a hand held chalkboard. They were shaking their little SD heads, but stopped when they noticed that their badly stuck on crescent moons were beginning to come off.
Wufei tolerated his badly dressed (meaning, dressed in sailor uniforms) colleagues for a while, but then the buzz just got louder, so he had to bellow at the top of his lungs before every one shut up and by that time, he was unstoppable.
He snatched up a yellow talisman and a coin sword, waving both items about with his eyes closed. this was potentially hazardous to the health of every one present, so they had to continually duck as Wufei screeched something in Chinese. Though a sword made of coins wasn't going to take anyone's heads off, it could still do some serious damage if swung in the right way.
The Chinese boy finally held out the talisman at an arm's length. it exploded into flames and he dunked the burnt yellow paper into a convenient jug of lemonade that was standing on the table.
For a moment, there was silence that threatened to be broken by the astonished exclamations of the two scientists over how it was fundamentally impossible to set something on fire like that.
"Drink it," Wufei demanded.
Every one sweatdropped, except Heero, who took a glass, filled it with the ashy lemonade and chugged it down. Bigger sweatdrops appeared.
"Well?" his voice sounded threatening.
The people gathered quickly followed Heero's example, to avoid incurring Wufei's wrath. Even the scientists.
"Uhm... that's very kind of you..." Quatre gulped, "It tastes... sweet and, uh, smoky."
Wufei grimaced.
Doctor J cleared his throat, signalling that he had, at long last, wanted to get to the point and tell them why they were gathered at the temple.
"The reason why I have called you here today is..." he looked at the expectant faces and faltered, "I... umm... can't remember."
Try to imagine every body falling over in a Takahashi Devil Pose. Trowa's voice was low, and dangerous, "What do you mean, you *forgot*?"
"I, uhh..." Doctor J dawdled.
"Yes?"
"Eh, heh...er..."
Without giving him a chance to say more, Trowa booted him out of the temple grounds. The SD doctor disappeared in a tinkle of light in the distant sky.
"That was for making me waste precious time that could've been spent with Quatre." He muttered under his bangs. The blonde boy blushed.
"Well, if there's nothing important, I think Heero and I will go on our date now, ne, Heero?" the Peacecraft beamed.
"No, we *won't*."
"Yes we will! You said-- okay, okay, Heero, I get the message. Put the gun away..."
Heero didn't do as instructed until he had run out of the temple and was a good mile and a half from it. When he thought Relena was no longer an immediate threat, he slowed his pace to an easy walk and kept the gun away in his school case. He riffled around some, then realised he hadn't looked at the test paper he had gotten back that day.
Hm. The top right hand corner of the paper was marked 100 in red pen, a circled comment of 'V. Good' to its left. How typical. Oh well, he always got grades like that, so he didn't think his mother would mind if he didn't bring it home. With great grace, he scrunched up the piece of paper and hurled it over his shoulder. He didn't realise it had hit someone until the ball of white had come rocketing back, smacking him expertly on the back of his head.
"Oi, watch where you throw those things," a familiar drawl said.
Heero turned to face the idiot whom he knew so well. "Go *away* Duo."
"Aw, Heero, you're not supposed to know my name!"
"Serena didn't know Darien's name, but everyone was fine with *that*."
"But... but... Oh hell. Wanna go for ice creams? My treat!"
"No."
"Pleeeeeeaaaaaase?"
"No."
"Heero, you are *no* fun. It's so rare we get slapped in an idyllic district of Tokyo! We could at least enjoy it! I tell you what, we'll go to the... uhh... park! Yeah! Fun stuff is always happening there!"
"No." The boy in the sailor fuku started to walk away.
"Hey, Heero! Wait up! I---" he was effectively silenced by a sock in the gut.
"Get lost," Heero sneered. He left the braided youth groaning on the sidewalk to the curious glances of the passersby. Heero continued on his journey till he came to a reasonably nice block of houses that were painted in pastel shades he hated.
"Tadaima," he called in a monotone to the only person in the house.
"Okaeri! Hey, Sere-- uh... Heero! I heard you had a test today. The teacher called to say you got a perfect grade again. Could I have a look at the paper?" his mother, otherwise known as Sally Po, came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron.
"Damn busy body teacher," was what she would have heard if she were close enough. It was a fortunate thing that she was not.
"What did you say, dear?"
"I said I threw it away."
"You WHAT????"
"I threw the test paper away, " Heero repeated honestly, pronouncing each syllable clearly in case Sally was suffering from some kind of ear infection.
"You... Stay out of the house until you know what is proper, young man!" with that, the enraged person posing as his mother in this sick parody quite literally kicked him out of the house. His school case joined him three seconds later, landing on him head with a thump sound.
Heero picked himself up, brushed himself down and shrugged. Oh well, at least that gave him a reason to get the hell out of the neighborhood filled with nauseating pastel colours. He'd go to the game arcade instead.
At that instant, his communicator beeped. Heero flipped up the tiny vidscreen to receive the criteria of the mission.
"Heero, meet at the game arcade! I remembered the news I wanted to tell you guys!" Doctor J's half android face spluttered.
"Ninmu ryoukai." with that, he was on his way.
* * *
"What the hell is taking Heero so damned long?" Wufei grumbled, though no one else was complaining. After all, he was the only one who wasn't playing a video game of some sort.
"Maybe it's because he was told the last?" Relena suggested, bumping off several digital monsters in the Sailor V game. She was about to engage in a battle with the boss when the late comer zoomed into the arcade, nearly knocking Howard, the person in charge, over. He pressed the access code on the Sailor V machine and was transported to the hidden room in the arcade. Howard didn't see this of course. It had become a blind spot for him since it happened so often.
This action totally erased the data on the machine Relena was playing on.
"Okay who's the jerk who did that?!" she growled. She looked around saw Heero, glomped onto him and the data about the game was forgotten. Heero was more important!
"Where is it? Let me at it!" he asked, looking more than a little mad with his messy hair. It really didn't help that he was still in the sailor uniform. To prime the image more, imagine a Relena attached to his arm in a death grip.
"Ahh, Heero, I see you're here." Doctor J said, hopping down from one of the high stools. "The Nega-Oz has struck again. They're at the park right now, stealing life energy from innocent people to power their Gundams! You have got to stop them!" He paused. "Trowa, Quatre, pause your game of Virtua Cop, this is important! Every one, transform!"
They reacted quickly, calling upon their special powers flinging their magical self destruct devices into the air. A terribly risky thing to do, but there was no other way out.
"Wing Cosmic Power, Make up!"
"Sandrock Star Power, Make up!"
"Heavy Arms Star Power, Make up!"
"Peacecraft Star Power, Make up!"
"JUSTICE!"
(CUE THE TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE)
SAILOR WING:
Heero is lifted magically, and feathers fly around his floating and noticeably naked form. The important parts are unfortunately obscured by the flying streams of feathers. The feathers mold to his shape and form wings, gloves and boots. The wings fold about him and after another corny riff of tinkling music, the wings spread open to reveal him in a resplendent Eternal Sailormoon outfit. He strikes the pose in the Just Communication opening.
SAILOR SANDROCK:
Quatre is enveloped by spools and spools of flying, pastel ribbons. He twirls once, twice, three times in the air. We pan to his face, where his eyes are closed. They open suddenly as we pan down to observe that he is now in a cute, blue sailor fuku. The end pose is that of him sitting cross legged in mid air, arms spread out.
SAILOR HEAVY ARMS:
Trowa does a triple axle flip, but the camera flashes away at the wrong moment, so we don't get to see anything particularly exciting. His body glows green and there is a flash of lightning. Lo and behold! We now see him dressed in a green sailor fuku standing on his hands. He flips upright and takes a bow.
SAILOR PEACECRAFT:
Relena is likewise spinning in a great circle, arms and legs full spread so we can see everything there is to see. No one is that interested in it, so the footage is wasted. Orange-gold ribbons twirl around her and form her orange sailor fuku. She smiles cutely (or so *she* thinks), strikes a pose a la Sailor Venus, then winks coyly.
SAILOR NATAKU:
Wufei stands nude on a whirling platform of light, hands on hips. He forms a fist with his right hand and punches the camera out. By the time the camera is back on, he has already finished his transformation and is standing in the same position as in the Just Communication opening. He is dressed in a red sailor fuku that is quite obviously shorter than the rest as he has to continually hike it down.
(END TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE)
The five Sailor suited senshi were fast to reach the park via Sailor Teleport. There, they found the evil Nega-Oz Generals Dorothy, Lady Une, Lucrezia Zoin and Zechs Malachite terrorizing innocent people stupid enough to stay in the park.
"Stop." Sailor Wing declared in his usual, dead sounding nasal voice. "I am Sailor Wing."
"I am Sailor Sandrock!"
"I am Sailor Heavy Arms."
"I am Sailor Peacecraft!"
"I am Sailor Nataku!"
"Together," Sailor Wing continued, mimicking the 'long speech to the enemy before you waste them' thing, "We are the Sailor Suited fighters for--"
"JUSTICE!" Sailor Nataku interrupted, thus cutting out the 'fighters for love' bit.
"In the name of the Colonies," Sailor Wing posed, both hands in symbolizing 'I love you', "We shall punish you."
The four Nega-Oz generals looked at them, blinked, looked at each other then went back to what they were doing.
"Hey, you're supposed to be scared and run away!" Sailor Peacecraft whined.
"No matter. We shall kill them all if we have to." Sailor Heavy Arms said. "Heavy Arms Lead Revolution!"
(ATTACK SEQUENCE)
Sailor Heavy Arms does yet another triple axle flip. A flying mass of bullets that had been dipped in green paint shoots out from either side of him, enveloping and killing Lady Une in bloody spray of guts and stuff before she even gets a line in the production.
(END ATTACK SEQUENCE)
"Whatever you say Heavy Arms! I'm right behind you!" Sailor Sandrock cried. He turned to Lucrezia Zoin, who looks terrified now.
"Zechs! Help me!"
"Hah! Sandrock Aqua Scimitars!"
(ATTACK SEQUENCE)
Sailor Sandrock appears to be playing a violin, but the violin playing is but a distraction for the two ice scimitars that are forming above his head. They take form and fly towards Lucrezia Zoin who is hiding behind Zechs in accordance to his playing. Zechs, hoping to save his own skin, jumps out of the way and Lucrezia Zoin is toast. Well... more of a popsicle, really...
(END ATTACK SEQUENCE)
Sailor Nataku glanced maniacally at the equally maniacal Dorothy. They tried to stare each other down, but gave up when they realised they were going to get nowhere.
"JUSTICE! Nataku Fire Dragons Strike!"
(ATTACK SEQUENCE)
Sailor Nataku's index fingers form a steeple and from there, he conjures twin Dragon Hang thingies that wrap Dorothy up. She screams and dodges one, but the other turns her extra crispy.
(END ATTACK SEQUENCE)
Sailor Peacecraft did not look at all amused by the badly choreographed fight scenes she had just seen, so she turned her wrath upon the only remaining general, who was sizing up and being sized up by Sailor Wing.
"Heero Love Me Chain!" she screeched, aiming the attack at Sailor Wing.
"Great going, Sailor Peacecraft! You just blew my cover with that damned attack again!"
(ATTACK SEQUENCE)
A stream of pink, linked hearts circle her many times over, then fly towards Sailor Wing, whom she has aimed it at. Sailor Wing ducks, so the attack is sent flying towards Zechs Malachite instead. Out of reflex, he sidestepped it too, and it ended up smacking a poor, unsuspecting youma. The youma is ripped to shreds.
(END ATTACK SEQUENCE)
"Oh well, at least I hit something..." she looked expectantly at Sailor Wing.
Only then did Sailor Wing realise he was supposed to attack Zechs Malachite. He rolled his eyes and recited, "Wing Tiara Action."
(ATTACK SEQUENCE)
Sailor Wing removes the cobalt jeweled tiara he has on. He twirls once, takes aim and flings it at Zechs Malachite like a frisbee. It would slice through anything (except Relena's thick head), being pure gundanium alloy. Zechs sidesteps the attack and it whizzes about crazily in a wide arc and by way of an innocent passerby before returning to Sailor Wing in a bloody mess.
(END ATTACK SEQUENCE)
Sailor Wing shrugged at the unfortunate and now deceased person who had gotten in the way, "Oh well." He shook the tiara once to remove a bit of the gore and a second time to transform it into a gun that he pointed at Zechs' head.
Every one sweatdropped.
Zechs Malachite recovered from his sweatdrop before anyone else and was able to kick the gun away and grab Sailor Wing by the hair at the same time. No one was going to tell him that it would not have been possible if it had not been in the script.
"Oh dear," Sailor Wing deadpanned, "Who will save me now?"
As if on cue, the stupid guitar riff struck up and a tiny silver scythe embedded itself in Zechs Malachite's foot. Zechs didn't take too well to this and clutched his foot, shrieking his head off.
All eyes turned in the direction from which the scythe had sailed from.
Standing on a street lamp, dressed in a rental tux, horned mask and top hat was a mysterious braided hero. He jumped down from his perch gracefully and began his rehearsed speech, "Fear not, Sailor Wing! I am here to save you, for I am Tuxedo Death Scythe!"
"What?" was Sailor Peacecraft's reaction to the whole thing.
Tuxedo Death Scythe conjured up a bigger, full length scythe and used it to bonk Zechs Malachite on the head, rendering him unconscious. He was heard to mutter, "Damn, why do I always get such crummy roles?" No one paid him any attention of course. They were too busy looking at Tuxedo Death Scythe and Sailor Wing who were locked in a spit swapping kiss.
"Oh, my savior, I am so grateful and yet I wonder who is under that mask, as if I didn't know." Sailor Wing continued to deadpan.
"Aw, Hee-- er, Sailor Wing, you know who I am?"
"Duo, any idiot could tell it was you."
"Damn... oh well, since you know, I won't bother with the formalities." so saying, Duo scooped Heero up in his arms (a great feat, considering his build) and carried him into some nearby bushes. Sailor Peacecraft nearly went into hysterics when she saw the bits and pieces of Sailor fuku and tuxedo fly out from the shrubs and had to be dragged off by Sailor Nataku, Sandrock and Heavy Arms who were keen on getting away before they--
"Ohhh... Heero! Oh *god*!"
--heard anything similar to the above in nature.
Back behind the bushes, the tables seemed to have been turned. Instead of Duo ravishing the kawaii uhh... *person* in a sailor fuku, it was turning out to be quite the opposite.
"Uhh.. Heero... Heero, that's not *fair*! Ow! Ow! Owwwwwwww!!!! Ow! Oooohhhh....."
Sailors Nataku, Sandrock, and Heavy Arms broke into a run, carting Sailor Peacecraft away before she really lost it.
* * *
"AUAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"
Duo sat up in his bunk, head drenched in sweat. Where in hell had that dream come from?! It was so screwed!
He sank back into his pillow, mumbling to himself, "No more pizza after midnight... no more pizza after midnight...."
Meanwhile, the Moonlight Densetsu played softly in the background.
OWARI!
So, how was that? What do you mean I'm sick?! ^_^; I like Sailor Moon, what can I say? Okay, I can say this: all hate mail and maybe a few comments can be sent to cresent_star@hotmail.com
Copyright Cresent Star 1999
(as if any one would want to copy it...)
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