This weekend was the first weekend home stay (there's one more mid July). The people who participated seemed to have had a lot of fun. Which of course instead of positively reinforcing my mindset or something like that, has got me all worked up and apprehensive over my home stay (it starts next Saturday). Instead of taking to heart how great people's family's were, and how much fun they had, I'm dwelling on just what I can do wrong, and how ticked off I'm going to make people. I've thought about withdrawing a couple of times, but that's when I get tired of listening to my whining insecurities, smack 'em around till they don't know which way is up, then send them to go cry in the corner along with my misanthropic tendencies.

Sometimes I am extraordinarily glad that what goes on inside my head is not a visual production.

I expect to be getting my exam results back tomorrow, and for the first time in a long while there is no overwhelming sense of foreboding, the kind that makes me grab the paper from the teacher and bury it face down in my folder so that I can prepare myself before turning it over and seeing the bad news. Okay, maybe it was never that bad, but there were several points where I had a distinct lack of enthusiasm when the time came to find out about my grades. Which reminds me, I need to get on the University site and find out just what my grades were for last semester… I need to stop finding so many fascinating things to do with my time.

Anyway, I had a lot of homework to do this (last) night, and it is very late, so I'm going to cut it short here.