Stop it, goddammit, it’ll only hurt you more. Don’t think about him.

Lina lay on her bed, pondering as she did every night what possible reason this had happened.

They hadn’t needed any of those riches, the kingdom, or any of that. They had been just fine, with no real home, no real place to belong. They’d even enjoyed it. Because they’d had each other.

At least, she had.

What was wrong? What happened? Lina stared at the ceiling. What did I do?

Lina slammed her face into the pillow and forced herself not to think about it.

Time heals all things.

She drifted off to sleep.

Lina, asleep in the bed they shared.

Lina, waking up to hear screams out side, and fire burning.

Zelgadis, covered with blood, with eyes like deep rubies. Bodies lay strewn about him, sliced every which way.

Zelgadis turns to see Lina, eyes wide with horror, standing stricken. He smiles and raises his blade.

Lina cringes, but no blow comes. She opens her eyes to see Zelgadis’ pain filled blue ones.

"I’m sorry, Lina. I don’t love you anymore.

"ZELGADIS!" Lina sat straight up in bed, jolting out of her fitful rest. "Zelgadis, PLEASE! Zel…g…." She glanced around. It was the same roo mshe’d had for three weeks. The one in the town right next to the one that was….massacred…

Don’t think about it.

Zelgadis, turning, withbrighteyes.

Don’t think about it!

Lips part to form a simple phrase.

Don’t THINK about it!

"I’m sorry, Lina,"

Lina buried her face in the pillows. The same dream, every night. The memories of him killing so many…so many…and nearly her.

And then saying…

Lina shook her head.

"I don’t love you anymore."

An entire year they’d been together. An entire year. How could…why didn’t…

Lina shook her head.

"I. Do not. Have. To deal with this." She stood up. "I’m sick of mooning over that bastard! He played me for a fool, he…" She was sure they were everlasting. But they weren’t.

I don’t care.

Lina repeated this mantra over and over to herself as she dressed.

Lina sagged. It hurts, it hurts, She slid to the floor and wrapped her arms around her legs. Zelgadis, all I want is you to be here, to hold me and say everything’s all right…

Well, I don’t care. I won’t care!

I know how to do this, Lina thought. It’s how I survived 300 years. I’ll survive. I always have.

And I don’t have Xellos to rub it in this time. That gave her an odd sense of satisfaction.

* * *

What was I thinking? Lina nursed a headache and wandered towards her room. She’d passed out from the first three beers she’d had. She never had drunk before in her life.

Dammit, this is no fun to experience alone.

She stumbled into her bed. The headache made her more annoyed than usual.

It’s all HIS fault.

* * *

I really need to get drunk right now.

That was all he’d done for the past month, every night. Get drunk.

I don’t want to deal with this.

Wasn’t that what got him into this problem in the first place?

I can’t deal with this.

He’d gotten it mostly figured out. He was a chimera, built of golem, human…

And demon.

My demon side is getting loose.

He usually kept tight emotional barriers upon himself, ones that didn’t let anything through. So he’d never had this problem before.

But I was happy.

So he’d let them all tumble down.

And the pieces of him, so tightly bound together, were breaking apart.

All I could do to protect her was to hurt her. He’d had to let her go. He’d almost killed her, what if his demon side got loose?

I might actually kill her.

But it hurt, goddammit. It hurt.

* * *

Lina sat at the inn table, beating up the young man who had dared to comment on her figure.

"How DARE you call the great Lina Inverse flat chested??" She shrieked in his ear. "I oughta--"

Two men in a corner booth suddenly perked up. One was a rather tall, noble looking man. His brown eyes were halfway covered by the tight brown spiral curls falling into his face. He had tanned skin, even thought it was just finishing winter. He was dressed in blue and purple, and had trappings of silver. His main failing attribute was he kept making lewd comments to the waitresses.

The other looked like the one who actually knew what he was doing. He wore dull brown leather and had a sword strapped to his side, with blonde hair and a curved smile

"Did she say Lina Inverse?" The lord whispered to him.

"Of the Inverse clan?"

"I thought they all died out."

"There was that one who ran off…" That had been 300 years ago, at least, but she had been rumored to have turned into the famous assassin.

Lina looked up from the beaten youth and stared at the two men grinning at her.

"Did we hear you correctly? That you are of the Inverse clan?"

"DILL BRANDO!!"

* * *

One rather charred man looked at the other. "Mm-hmm. You were right."

"Pay up. I told you she wouldn't let us finish."

* * *

Lina stalked along. What utter morons. They think I can't tell they're following me. She rolled her eyes.

For two weeks now she'd been chased by these two men. It was totally obnoxious. They kept showing up and asking her if she was the same Lina Inverse who ran off 300 years ago. She was getting sick of it.

Of course, she WAS the same one, but still….

She finally threw her hands up in the air and spun to look at the bush that had been following her. She was pretty sure the other one was somewhere around there, but he managed to do a good job of hiding himself. She glared at the rather contrite bush.

"Okay, buddy, why won't you leave me alone?"

The bush managed to look innocent. "Me? I'm just a bush, ambling along it's way, la-dee-da…"

The One in grey stepped out of the shadows and hit the bush. "You are an idiot, you know that?"

"Who are you sir, and why are you hitting defenseless young bushes?"

"Shut up and stop giving us away. I know you're just doing it to be weird."

"Okay, okay." The man in blue stood up in the bush and grinned at Lina.

"What do you want." It was more a statement than a question.

The brown man grinned and kicked away the bush. "I believe you are aware that your great great great great great..umm…how many greats was that?"

"Seven."

"Five."

"Maybe it was six."

"Anyway, it's your great something or other nephew. He died."

Lina snorted. "If you want to know if I'll resurrect him, number one I won't do it, number two I can't do it, and number three I don't like my family in the first place."

The lordling looked at the man in dull brown. "How many generations would have passed in 300 years if they had a new set every thirty years or so?"

"About ten."

"Okay, your great great great great--"

"Just continue."

"Well, he's dead and we have to find someone to take over."

"Forget it." Lina spun on her heel and stalked off.

And was immediately stopped by the one in blue clinging to her leg. "Hey, let go!"

"PLEAAASE!! If we don't get an Inverse I'll be kiiiiilled!"

The one in dun looked at him as only one long suffering in his company could look. "You'll loose your job, they won't kill you."

"But if I loose my job I can't pay the landowner and I'll be killed by HIM!!"

"siiigh…."

"Why would I want to rule that stupid little backwater country??" Lina asked amusedly. "You couldn't PAY me to!"

"Backwater…my lady, I don't believe you've visited your kingdom since you ran off."

"How much can a place change in ten generations?"

* * *

"This has to be a joke. Who edited this map?"

* * *